Making Chemistry in Chemistry Lab

O.o

Do you even English? You need an editor very badly, its almost impossible to read. If English is your first language, you should be shot

Have to agree

English seems not to be your first language. This was so bad, I just bailed and jumped down to the comments section

Love the Story Line!

Love the story line, hope for additional chapters for this one. One quick bit of advice, proofread and edit before publishing. Thank you. :-)

UGH!

To submit this you have to be clueless about writing.

WoW!

You might as well stick to Chemistry, you sure as hell flunked English in Grade 2.
Try and read this to yourself -- then try and make sense of your sentence structure!
I couldn't take it any more, and bailed -- I did manage to suffer through until they went down the basement, but by then I was too confused to continue.
I would suggest reading a few books before you try and write one!

Unreadable

So poorly written, I gave up trying after a couple of paragraphs.

Get an editor! (preferably, one who knows English)!

-Rei

Get a better translator

English is not your first language. I don't know if you used Google Translate, a friend, or your own English skills..but it didn't work. Way too distracting. U had to quit reading

Keep writing, but work on your grammar. Have someone proofread for complete sentences, correct verb tenses, and missing articles.

Needs a complete revision

Truly, on of the worst stories I've ever read due to the author's horrible writing skills. The story reads as if it was written by a pre-adolescent. The plot, however, is intriguing and worth pursuing.

There were several instances where I couldn't figure out what idea you were trying to convey. More often, I was completely confused when trying to follow the dialog ... Who was saying what when. The dialog just didn't make any sense.

Please, find an editor and keep trying.

How Ironic

What a shame that many of the commenters did not proofread their own writing:

Do you even English? You need an editor very badly, its almost impossible to read. If English is your first language, you should be shot
Where is the verb in the first fragment? Where is the apostrophe for the contraction it's? Where is the final punctuation for "you should be shot"?

There were other errors, too, but the advice to get an editor--or at least a proofreader--is valid.

With revision and help, you could have a top notch story.

@ how ironic....

you are very precise in your composition and pretty well organized in your thoughts. obviously words are your trade in one form or another. don't you think it unreasonable to apply the standards you set for yourself others who may not have your talent of or skill set as they offer their comments? after all it's live entry and a dash to get thought and responses down as they are considered. Frankly the whole grammar police thing troubles me. Look at the variations in spelling in the first draft of the Declaration of Independence. Some folks seem to think that literature is about regimented rules for putting words down on paper/pixels but you know and we know that is simply not the case.

Yes a good editor can make or break a piece and blatant mistakes can hinder comprehension and enjoyment. but the comments are just that... comments.

you might have noticed that my pinkies are lazy and i don't think i'm e.e.cummings i just don't think that slavish devotion to arcane rules improves meaning.

if the authors of the stories and even those who comment were to read the material aloud before committing to the ether things would be more easily understood. Writing for the ear makes it much better reading for the eye.

Thanks for your observations.