Accidental Union Ch. 02

if he was fucked up as you said he never could have gotten it up.much less 5x the drinking would have been bad enough but the weed would have killed all blood flow south, and the acid would be pointless with the weed and rum they are both downers while the acid is a pshycodelic upper.

an editor would help, lots.

Most don't think it's important to not have mistakes within a composition. However, the truth is that it distracts a reader as opposed to the idea of drawing them in. I realize the possible issue with displaying your work in the category of erotica to someone you know. Let me say this. Kurt Cobain was a great artist and drew Shaggy doing Scooby in public. Literotica has a volunteer editor program, I know I am one. We gladly help persons like yourself to finely hone a composition like this. You have the skill, I like the premise of the story and you should continue. She kicks him out, but decides to go fuck him at his temporary abode.. or what ever suite your fancy. Just use an editor.

Loved It!

Getting better, Thanks!

Author comment

I sincerely apologize for any mistakes and appreciate any and all feedback. This story is for fun and is not edited by me in any way. It is written as you see it; from my head, to the keyboard, and posted. Kevin, 19, is loosely based on my teenage years except I was a known as a hard partier (a freak) and Kevin is a semi-jock (jock). Everyone is different but I never had a problem in the sack, no matter what was in my system as a teenager; now older I would consider myself lucky in comparison. His mom, Nancy, is based off of a friends mom that looked and acted exactly like a teenager. She could walk into a classroom and you would never know her age (cool woman); we'll leave it at that. Being a musician, it's hard to give my work to an editor to correct/change. Saying this, I will hire a editor when my non related erotica novel is ready to publish; everyone has limits. Remember, the funniest things in life are just that, life. Again, I appreciate the time and effort everyone put into reading my story. Enjoy. Thank you!

Keep doing what ur doing. Its a good story .. amature writing is what this about. If they are looking for professional they need to go to the library but they wont find stories like this there.

What?

What the hell is a "colitis" ??? Paragraph 6 your licking her "Clitoris". The rest of the story your sucking, kissing, licking her "colitis".

Wondering why when you heard her say, "Take Me!" or later "Kiss Me!", you didn't recognize the voice of your own mother?? The voice you have heard for 19 years??

I enjoyed the story. I thought except for those couple of mistakes it is a really Fun Fuck kinda story. Looking forward tto read more of this relationship. I love "Mother Fucking " storys.

Proof reading, & an editor, will cure these little booboos.

Chapter 1 near the end.

"Stop talking," she said to me in her sexy harsh voice.

It's hard to tell if that's her real or drunk voice but I like it.

1) She still has a harsh voice from the previous late night to early morning. A 19 year old is only likely to hear his mom's motherly voice whether calm or angry but not a sexy (thinks its her husband) harsh (because she partied like hell) voice. Sleep time was only a few hours. Kind of like Cameron Diaz sounding like Linda Fiorentino after some hard partying with a lot of sexy thrown in.

2) Spelling, typing to fast did me in on this one.