All Comments on 'Total Control'

by Coral

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  • 3 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
Its ok.... BUT...

No time taken to flesh out stories...

AnonymousAnonymousover 16 years ago
it's all right

could have taken more time on the story

DaddysGoldenGirlDaddysGoldenGirlover 9 years ago
The concept is good....

However, you need to take more time to build your characters and set the scene. For example, why was Paulette different? What had you done to turn the basement into a play den? All this is important to your readers.

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