hmm what to do?
You imply that this is like one of the worst serial killer cases ever. 40 people in one month. I'd have liked for you to tell us more about what type of people were disappearing. Was it a certain type of person? A certain demographic? You say that people who were, I assume witnesses, were also disappearing. Did this mean people were afraid to contact the police? Why is this guy then going out at 6am when guy he didn't know who seemed threatening came to his apartment the night before. Seems a bit dumb to me, but that is just me. I'd think people wouldn't be leaving their homes alone with that many people missing.
I wonder what this guy can do now? Are we to assume this guy who is bothering him is supernatural or just big and fast? I assume he isn't feeling like he should tell the cops about this?
Good start.
by
Anonymous02/10/15
Good start. Would love to read more, though a longer chapter. But it was rather confusing. You haven't explained everything properly. Why did he leave his home at 6a.m., when he had just been visited by a creepy stranger? If a serial killer was out on loose, why would he go alone? I hope you clear it up in the next chapter. By the way is this going to be supernatural? I would love it even more if it were. Keep it up!
I got why 6am to get pastries yeah haha
Hmmm very good beginning, you could add more details like mentioned in previous. comments. More adjectives also when you describe characters and what they do
by
Anonymous02/10/15
Good start
It does need some editing though. A few missed words or mixed up words/spelling errors but that could be sorted by reading through a few times before posting the final edit.
I know I wouldn't be out at 6am the morning following the incident the night before but then maybe there's a reason for it. 40 murders is huge. I'm presuming there is a bit of supernatural involvement so I'm excited to read more
English
hmm what to do?
You imply that this is like one of the worst serial killer cases ever. 40 people in one month. I'd have liked for you to tell us more about what type of people were disappearing. Was it a certain type of person? A certain demographic? You say that people who were, I assume witnesses, were also disappearing. Did this mean people were afraid to contact the police? Why is this guy then going out at 6am when guy he didn't know who seemed threatening came to his apartment the night before. Seems a bit dumb to me, but that is just me. I'd think people wouldn't be leaving their homes alone with that many people missing.
I wonder what this guy can do now? Are we to assume this guy who is bothering him is supernatural or just big and fast? I assume he isn't feeling like he should tell the cops about this?
Good start.
Good start. Would love to read more, though a longer chapter. But it was rather confusing. You haven't explained everything properly. Why did he leave his home at 6a.m., when he had just been visited by a creepy stranger? If a serial killer was out on loose, why would he go alone? I hope you clear it up in the next chapter. By the way is this going to be supernatural? I would love it even more if it were. Keep it up!
I got why 6am to get pastries yeah haha
Hmmm very good beginning, you could add more details like mentioned in previous. comments. More adjectives also when you describe characters and what they do
Good start
It does need some editing though. A few missed words or mixed up words/spelling errors but that could be sorted by reading through a few times before posting the final edit.
I know I wouldn't be out at 6am the morning following the incident the night before but then maybe there's a reason for it. 40 murders is huge. I'm presuming there is a bit of supernatural involvement so I'm excited to read more
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