All Comments on 'A Bakery, Ruminations & Fucking...'

I almost didn't read this based on your preface, sue me, I'm lazy - I didn't want to have to search and listen to the songs. I waited until I had more time and then got fully invested in the process. Totally worth it! I love your writing style and these characters are sweet, messy, complex and HOT. You owe it to your readers to continue - seriously it would be like never finding out who shot JR for you to stop now - crap, I'm dating myself - but hopefully you can find a point of reference.

Sorry, y'all. I should've made it clear. Don't feel compelled to listen to the music - it isn't required (well, maybe if you decide to reread it...) This story is experienced as written, the music just a garnish & spices.

Erin

I won't repeat all the somewhat cheesy stuff I sent to you in the contact mail or whatever it is (tech-clumsy here), but just to re-state the obvious : keep going, it's amazing !

Also, sorry for the bad english/grammar.

I don't understand why this doesn't have higher ratings. There is some repetitive language (she's got berry red nipples - we got it) but it's a great story and hot!

Excellent! Pure drama and entertainment. I see these characters as part of a criminal law series on HBO, Showtime, or some other prominent network. Erin and Jillian would be 1 of several (3-5 ) lives that would be featured in the line of duty. The music Shadowsucks uses as "spice" would fit nicely in the respective scenes. Give us more! I would like to follow these character to the end.

This is so sexy and sweet. I can feel the love they have for each other. Erin's cancer broke my heart. I hope and pray it isn't true for you, but if it is - thank you for sharing this part of your life with us.

Sharon

You are an amazing writer! Your story and characters are absolutely captivating and well-developed. Your writing is entertaining and digs down deep, keep doing what you're doing! I can't wait to read more!

Great job on your very first story submission! The building love is beautiful to witness and the constant tone of impending heartache & loss, all feels very realistic. I hope you'll continue writing and sharing your work! Thank you!

This story has much potential. Although the protagonist is diagnosed with ovarian cancer, we realize that the real cancer eating her up her soul is her guilt and anger over her past. It is suggested in the story that the disease actually was a wake up call for her, rather than an a real shock.

Personally, I prefer dramatic stories in which the characters change (and grow) as a result of conflict. The main character-change in this story was when Erin opened up to Jillian. If it was up to me, I would have rearranged your story's events, in a way that we start by getting familiar with Erin while she handles a difficult situation at work, then we follow her to the bakery and the sex scene, and then we reach the story's climax where she is freed after confessing the truth to Jillian.

I also think that it would be more dramatic if Erin showed more resistance to Jillian's attempts for getting a confession. Erin gave up too easy.

I also enjoyed the kinkiness of the sex scenes.

What I find most poignant is the starkness of Erin's physical illnes and all the concomitant emotional undertones that augment her life. It might just be me, but I think the varieties and oftentimes concflicting feelings and emotions are the things you're trying to describe in this story. Maybe because I'm a "helping professional" and resonate to your story on a personal level. Thnak you for sharing this. I hope there's another chapter soon.

Great characters and conflict. Wonderful plotline. Sort of got godsmacked by the cliffhanger. Loved it. I (and everyone who has or will enjoy the story) appreciate the bravery and focus required to write and post such an honest and personal story.

Oh, and don't feel self-conscious. I call out my name during sex too. It pisses my girlfriend off to no end when I do though.

What an amazing story! You paint a picture that is easy to see in every detail and in full color. It starts off so powerfully and just keeps going. I see so many possibilities of where you might take the story, but I know that you will take it the one place it is supposed to go. And please take that as an emphatic, please continue. I had to listen to both versions of Hallelujah as I finished reading it. k.d. lang is still singing right now. You've done wonderfully here.

I really wanted to read this story, but the nasty, rude and downright ugly jabs at other writers by this author turned me away cold.

I usually only leave positive comments about stories, if they warrant them, and see no reason to be ugly and negative about a someone else's work. You would think a writer would love for everyone to give their story a read, but the man hating and ranting preamble before the story even starts was too much of a downer. Traditionally, an author here on Literotica gets 5 or 10 stories out before they turn on their readers.

Just another example of the negativity brinig Literotica down.

Doc

The difference between a lesbian and a male-lesbian is empathy, and you ain't got none.

I don't get it. I've read this story carefully, twice now. There's no vitriol, no man hating ranting anywhere in this story. Instead, it is a beautul story of love amidst so many genuine obstacles in life. It is tender, romatic and sexy. It is bittersweet. But there is no hatred anywhere in this writer's story and I am wondering why she is being attacked for this story. It seems a very odd and angry reaction to a beautifully written lesbian love story.

This series is crazy good. Like if Dashiell Hammett, Robert B. Parker and Tess Gerritsen got drunk and partied together and decided to write lesbian erotic crime-fiction. I love this. Rich complex characters, great sex, a very well fashioned first-person perspective, and remarkably well written backstories. I hope you drop another story to rock my world, the sooner the better. Thank you. You hit one out of the ballpark with both chapters. Well done, ShadowS. Remarkably well done. I am a new and devoted fan. The few missteps and stumbles in your writing are easy to forgive, given your inventive style and satirical wit.

A beautifully rendered piece, evocative and elegant in places, raw and rancid and real in others. Impressive work. There is truth and fearlessness in this story, along with heavy doses of artistry.

Lit is too often a masturbatory sock with embroidered letters on the outside. This is quality stuff. Nicely done. A rewarding read peppered with actual emotion and real-world reflections.

A really, really good read. I hope you continue writing as you have an interesting style that I find very intriguing, one that draws me into to the characters themselves. To the extent I almost feel I'm listening to them tell me their story in the conversational way friends speak to each other.

Again, a great story that I hope you will continue beyond the two parts you have already written.

Ed

I've been an avid reader on literotica. This is the first that has moves me to post a comment. Excellent, excellent job.

You were very gifted, you shall be missed.

Wow, what an amazing piece. Not quite the bdsm I was expecting but still it had me on the edge of my seat. Please write more.