homeGay MaleA Promise to Jared Ch. 01Public Comments

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A Promise to Jared Ch. 01

byThenewboy0©
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by Anonymous

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by JamesTasman02/11/15

Jared

Mmmmmmm. I have a fantasy Jared too. Trouble is, he is my brother in law. Dreams are free anyway. Was hot reading this and thinking "what if"
James

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by Anonymous02/11/15

Sorry...

I found this awkwardly written and poorly crafted. Grammar was awful. Many, many misspelled words. Nothing about this story was believable,clever or erotic.

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by Anonymous02/11/15

I recommend you get an editor. There are alot of problems with tense and other errors that slow you from reading. Aside from that, it would have made more sense to have him prep the guy for 10 in. If not, OUCH! Keep writing though.

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