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Tina the Waitress

byWholyChao©
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Comments (5)
by Anonymous

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by Anonymous03/06/04

very good

Great story but needs more maybe a ch. 2

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by obedient girl06/09/04

Pleasseeee not here....

don't stop now... Write more about this great chemical or whatever it is. Loved reading this but there has to be so many more chapters you can add to this. Get to work!

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by AbbeFaria06/14/04

nice idea, but...

Subliminal doesn't mean psychic communication, it just means you aren't conciously aware of whatever the stimulus is. The way you built this story the charachter was manipulating her mind with his own thoughts. She's not even paying attention to him all night except for a random glance and to bring him his food, so how is she picking up on these suposed subliminal messages continuously?

The defination and explanation of your c-ment doesn't fit with what you do with it in the story, but kudos on your plot building in that department. It showed a lot of planning but you just planned in the wrong direction.

Here's a defination of subliminal for you: 1 : inadequate to produce a sensation or a perception
2 : existing or functioning below the threshold of consciousness

Taken in that context the basis of your story falls apart. There was no action he was taking to send her subliminal signals.

It's a good story, but there are flaws.

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by Anonymous04/21/05

really good

Wow, sweet story.

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by Anonymous03/28/14

Please make more

Pleas continue this story or let the drug fall into another person's hands this is a great story

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