My Son Had An Erection

2nd paragraph

You switched Siobhan with Yvonne, either that or you introduced someone without saying what connection they were.

I can see that you are a new writer on Literotica so I don't want to put you off from writing more stories but there seems to be something missing. The language and punctuation are fine but it is though there is no passion here, just a catalogue of the events!

Son

Perhaps in your next offering you will have more character development and dialog.Good first story.

Short and sweet

Its true it could do with a bit more dialogue but its fine and erotic writing all the same. I hope we see more of your stuff. 5 stars.

Nice

Good potential for where this story could go. Seemed a little rushed but look forward to reading more from you.

Good First Story

I love hearing about real experiences and yours was very erotic. As far as constructive criticism goes more details and taking more time to describe things adds a lot to the story. That said I hope you continue to share your adventures with us!

PS Having an editor helps to catch things like the Siobhan/Yvonne glitch. There is a list of volunteer editors here, or you could just recruit a friend.

Thanks

Thanks for your comments and advice folks and yes, this is my first story here xx

slow down

Very rushed. I didn't even get a chance to get too excited before it was already over. Should have had more intimate teasing.

okay, dialogue would've enhanced the story

But it's an excellent short account anyway, especially considering it's from a first time contributor. Five stars, definitely. I really, really hope this is a true story. It certainly has the ring of truth about it. It's interesting that 19 year old Paul didn't seem in the least embarrassed that his hard on was pressing into his mother's body or that it was making a big tent in his pants that other guests might see. He seems to be a very together young guy. I love where the mother says, "He let loose and I could feel the squirts of cum as he pumped himself load deep inside my vagina." That has to be one of the most truly awesome moments in a kid's life, when he just blows his young balls up between his own mother's legs, right up into the same vagina he came out of, and gifts his beloved mom with a huge twatful of his sperm. I'm sure mom enjoyed it as much as her boy did.

Nicely done

I would have liked to have seen that their relationship would have grown and for them to becoming closer, more like husband and wife.

Thanks for the read

Great

Great story. 5 stars. Was there no attraction whatsoever before?. You needed a whole lot more of what you both were thinking that day.

Nick dream house

Good dear . You did good job with your Paul . Hope you took always Paul to heaven . I love that . Hope I be the place of Paul.
Good luck to you both n have a great sex life . ❤️❤️

lame

this was obviously written by a man who has never made a woman cum. When a woman cums she is full of energy and does not... can not go to sleep. In fact if a man makes his woman cum, and he falls asleep after she could be up for hours because she can't.

I HOPE THERE IS A

PREGNANCY CUMMING..............

wasnt five stars

it was a good attempt but spell checking it would have made it easier to read and just who is yvonne

NOT TOO BAD!

You did good for a beginning, but you really need to proofread more. You screw up tense in several cases. Also you had no reasonable emotion. If this wasn't fiction this would be one cold mother son. Surely there would be some second thoughts before they crawled in the bed. I think you may have been in a hurry to get one out, if so remember the old saw: "You want it bad--you'll get it bad."

I'm going to ch 02 now, hoping you put the advice others gave you to good use. GOOD LUCK!

love it paul is a lucky guy to you as his mom and to have you a partner to fuck at night when you both need sex from each other lady so can I have some your pussy too lady call me and let me know to sweetie pie

Short, but a great start!

A hot mom who loves her son as often as she can in all the right ways.