All Comments on 'Dominology 101: Be Yourself'

by IvanMazlow

Sort by:
  • 8 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousabout 9 years ago
im amazed in the detail and understanding

Ive always looked for something of this nature, not a this is how you do it!, but more of a how do you feel about doing this? What reaction did you get? I'm amazed and i hope you continue.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 9 years ago
Amazing, simply amazing!!!

I have always wondered the mind of a dominant.. I feel like you are showing a little bit into how dominants think, and how it also affects submissives. I am definitely a sub. I once thought of joining a dating site specifically for sub/doms but realized it probably wouldn't be the best avenue to go looking..

Bravo. Keep writing!!

poetgirl2222poetgirl2222about 9 years ago
Wonderful!

This is truly a gem. In the times I have researched and tried to learn about the lifestyle; never have I come across something like this..

5/5

Looking forward to learning and reading more of your work.

fanfarefanfareabout 9 years ago
my limited experience

About thirty-odd years ago, when my wife and I were experimenting. We briefly explored BDSM groups where we lived at that time and soon realized this was not to our personal tastes.

While discussing limits and rules, we were told about a recent occurrence. When an in-experienced, wanna-be dom tried to master an young, in-experienced wanna-be submissive. Causing her severe injuries and trauma.

Then the idiot booted her out, ordering her to return in a couple of weeks when she healed up.

 In shock, she tried to pretend that she was okay and returned to her job.

Her boss noticed her discomfort and saw the wrist markings left by stupid's use of handcuffs. There is a reason police still use metal handcuffs as the markings left are a quick way to tell that someone had been recently arrested.



The girl's boss turned out to be a militant feminist and she dragged the girl to the nearest Women's Clinic. Where the Doctor's quickly determined that the girl was suffering serious internal injuries.

Then the boss went ballistic and with her political influence, she got the police involved and toot-sweet, stupid was on his way to jail. 



Between vindictive Boss Lady and the outraged members of the local BDSM club, who did not appreciate the attentions of the authorities on their activities, the asshole was whipsawed.

He had to pay a huge indemnity to the girl. He lost his professional accreditation. Did some jail time and all in all, his life was rendered utterly miserable.



On and off over the years, my wife and I as a special treat. Would do some mild vanilla B&D. For instance spanking using only our bare hands.

We would switch roles back and forth as the mood struck us (rimshot). The few times a year we did this, was simply about enjoying giving one another pleasure. We did NOT put our egos on the line!

Several years ago, as a widower, I decided to explore the local community's BDSM scene and again my expectations were disappointed .

The only rule that matter is that money got you any and every perversion you demanded to indulge yourself. Without any responsibility for the damage caused by too much wealth and not enough common sense.



All the self-proclaimed doms and masters I met are narcissist driven perpetual adolescents.

All the submissives/slaves are prostitutes of varying gender. Desperate to earn enough to maintain their drug addictions.



I cannot speak about the practices in other communities but out here on the south-left orange coast the BDSM society is just a front for criminal activities. 



Also, I must disagree with the term SSC as Safe, Sane, Consensual. I am of the opinion it should better be Safe, Sober, Consensual.

Sane is universally defined as what WE do as compared to what THEY do. 



Drug addicts are invariably contending with a number of mental health issues. Which adds prescribed drugs to the sewer of chemicals they already are ingesting.



And the consumption of alcohol with recreational drugs does NOT improve the competency of those abusers of the impoverished, who boast of being doms and masters.

- fanfare -

AnonymousAnonymousabout 9 years ago
Deeper Intimacy . . .

Ivan, you've reflected some great thoughts. When you say that the end product a Dom should aspire to is a deeper connection, I believe you are right on the money. To me, connection is where it starts and stops. If whips or chains get involved, then they do. But it's never about the chains.

Ant

craigoolcraigoolabout 9 years ago
Thank you Ivan!

No one talks about starting small, like you do.

No one talks about what is good for the sub, like you do.

Narcisscists never do.

Let her be your guide. Let her orgasms be your measure of pleasure. Make her writhe, but not in pain, in pleasure. Yes, it can get so intense it is painful. Try to get her ALMOST there. Learn about her. Keep her white hot, on that edge.

Then give her the release she deserves. Women don't worship you because you beat them, if they do, you're a sadist, not a dominant. B&D is about basic skills in mastering relationships, and the most basic skill is compassion for the other person.

Ivan, your post should be put on a gold plaque at the entrance to every club.

amazingrace69amazingrace69about 9 years ago
This is just great!

I've been interested in getting into the BDSM scene and experimenting with these things for some time now but I am completely new to this. I really enjoyed this article and what you spoke about. I don't think I would ever be the Domme in a D/s relationship but either way, this is a great article for anyone looking to get into this. So thank you, Ivan!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 9 years ago
so helpful

I've been trying to bring out my dominant side more with my husband. And I didn't know where to even start. Reading erotic stories and forums were getting me nowhere but this is truly great. I have a dominant personality that I've had to keep in check and been submissive my whole life In and out of the bedroom. so when I met. Man who was submissive I was at a loss. It's not like you can flip a switch on a decade of conditioning. He's helped me some but nothing like thsee how to things you've written. I've never been truly in the bdsm scene though I would like to and just done know where to start.

Anonymous
Our Comments Policy is available in the Lit FAQ
Post as:
Anonymous