Regarding Redlion75's comment, if she's married, then she isn't available to commit to a Dom unless perhaps hubby becomes involved as well. Dom may have started it but it's always her choice whether to continue.
I'm sure sirssubshannon has a deviously wicked writers' reason for entangling Susan with a spouse when being single would've been simpler.
by
Anonymous02/22/15
Just because he says it
Doesn't make it true. I found this to be beyond the realm of plausibility. You wrote it, but I believe when he was late, she would have left. And at the end when he proposes the Ds relationship I think she laughs in his face and leaves. I'm still laughing at the ending. Is anyone really that stupid?
Ok so she might be submissive...but she is married...what is with all these stories having Dom come in and take over womens lives, married or otherwise....that doesnt happen in real life
was the change in person (perspective) intentional? The story started out in third person and changed to first person right after she ordered trout instead of the salmon he'd order for her. Otherwise, I loved the insights, the build up, the concept, and the story. Great start -- 5*'s! Please keep writing and please continue this story.
I would strongly suggest you take your head out of your ass prior to posting stupid comments. Not only are you wrong, but I have done exactly as you say doesn't happen in true life.
by
Anonymous03/08/15
Scoundrel, maybe you've been the bull dom to some doormat bored wives. Not something to brag about.
Author, you appear new to posting. You have some skill but need to keep working at it. The people and story are too superficial. Her musings about why am I doing this are repetitive and make her sound like an airhead. What is most unbelievable is that a women earning a salary in the education field would blow the extreme amounts that hotel boutique prices would charge. Suspension of disbelief left right there.
by
Anonymous03/09/15
Confused
Do you know the difference between 3rd & 1st person?
You start in the 3rd person as someone telling the story about Susan, then suddenly you switch to Susan telling her own story...1st person.
If that was your intent, you need to let the reader know so they can make sense of where you are going.
Story itself has potential. I've been in a similar situation at a teacher training seminar, and had a female teacher serving me beautifully for the 3 nights after each session. Delightful. So these things do happen!
English
so she is a cheater no thanks
Ignore that....
Nicely written, good sense of anticipation, left me wanting more, what is not to like....
redlion comment
...maybe she is, but he started it.
Nicely Crafted Beginning . . .
that leaves us wanting to know what's next.
Regarding Redlion75's comment, if she's married, then she isn't available to commit to a Dom unless perhaps hubby becomes involved as well. Dom may have started it but it's always her choice whether to continue.
I'm sure sirssubshannon has a deviously wicked writers' reason for entangling Susan with a spouse when being single would've been simpler.
Just because he says it
Doesn't make it true. I found this to be beyond the realm of plausibility. You wrote it, but I believe when he was late, she would have left. And at the end when he proposes the Ds relationship I think she laughs in his face and leaves. I'm still laughing at the ending. Is anyone really that stupid?
seriously
Ok so she might be submissive...but she is married...what is with all these stories having Dom come in and take over womens lives, married or otherwise....that doesnt happen in real life
Loved the story but...
was the change in person (perspective) intentional? The story started out in third person and changed to first person right after she ordered trout instead of the salmon he'd order for her. Otherwise, I loved the insights, the build up, the concept, and the story. Great start -- 5*'s! Please keep writing and please continue this story.
T.B. Ornot
Bull Shit amh1970
I would strongly suggest you take your head out of your ass prior to posting stupid comments. Not only are you wrong, but I have done exactly as you say doesn't happen in true life.
Scoundrel, maybe you've been the bull dom to some doormat bored wives. Not something to brag about.
Author, you appear new to posting. You have some skill but need to keep working at it. The people and story are too superficial. Her musings about why am I doing this are repetitive and make her sound like an airhead. What is most unbelievable is that a women earning a salary in the education field would blow the extreme amounts that hotel boutique prices would charge. Suspension of disbelief left right there.
Confused
Do you know the difference between 3rd & 1st person?
You start in the 3rd person as someone telling the story about Susan, then suddenly you switch to Susan telling her own story...1st person.
If that was your intent, you need to let the reader know so they can make sense of where you are going.
Story itself has potential. I've been in a similar situation at a teacher training seminar, and had a female teacher serving me beautifully for the 3 nights after each session. Delightful. So these things do happen!
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