Virgin Bride Pt. 01

lame

What a crappy wedding night!

mixed feelins

it wasnt that good but it was okay, u need 2 put more effort in it, ull get it rite.

sweet

I think your story was very sweet. Its nice to see a couple wait to make love untill their wedding night. I think that shows true love to be able to wait so long before becoming physical. I think you did a great job and i really enjoyed it.

Very good!

I really liked it.... it was sweet that they waited and had sex on the big night.

Thanks for the comments

Thanks for your comments.

As you know, A mainstay for any writer is feedback from the readership. I greatly appreciate any comments or reviews of my work.

Thank you!

Barnabus
barnabus329@hotmail.com

very nice!

I liked this Vanilla story. This is what it would be like on any virgins wedding night. The fact that both were virgins just intensifies it.

To the person who said it was lame......why did you read it in the first place. You knew full well going in that it would be tame. Your comments were childish.

Eh, it was okay.

Yes, it was vanilla, but almost TOO vanilla to be pleasing. Christains can have fun too ya know!! This was a disappointment.

Bravo

You critics amaze me. There are billions of twisted, unbelievable, and sick stories. I finally find one sexy husband and wife story. Why don't you read one of the usual: incest, bisexual, alien, doing it with animal's stories.

beautiful

Dont listen to any one else it was amazing, moving, beautiful

Very well done.

Very true to life story. Done in good taste.. Note to the people that say it is too vanilla.. This is the "romance" section and this story has got an "H" rating. Not easy to get in romance. To the guy "anonymous" that claims christains can have fun too might want to get out his spelling dictionary.

Very well done.

Very true to life story. Done in good taste.. Note to the people that say it is too vanilla.. This is the "romance" section and this story has got an "H" rating. Not easy to get in romance. To the guy "anonymous" that claims christains can have fun too might want to get out his spelling dictionary.

nice job

You had a good plot but the writing needs help. There is a lot of cliche comments. Your writing style is elementry but it will improve in time.

Beautiful

One of the loveliest erotic stories I've ever read, all the more so for being so gentle and delicate. I loved the description of taking off Angela's dress

Thanks from Barnabus

Comments range all over the place, don't they? But thank you one and all.

WTF?!

You need to work on your writing. You said he was pouring his seed into her depths...but then said he was removing the used condom?! People like you should either learn to write, or die.

beautifully written story - the characters are came to life

That was unusual.

Unusual for Lit. and apparently most of the featureless ones (that is those who have never put themselves on the line) cannot handle anything more real than a 'wham-bam etc.'
Barnabas, you told a realistic story, in delightful style.