All Comments on 'The Ultimate Betrayal'

For the read.

thanks for the offering.

...her calling him an "incredibly dumb man" kind of hit the nail right on the head. Even being in love and halfway blind it is hard to believe all those stories she had sold him. By the way: Wouldn´t a phone call to her school concerning this "new system" cleared everything quite fast? So instead he limited his inquieries to his own school...as she said:An "incredibly dumb man"

At least not a wimp story.

I want to encourage you. I haven't liked many of them, BUT, what I want to say is that almost everytime, I see you making improvement. Previously, my criticisms were about character development. Again, while THIS story may not feature the BEST character development that there ever was, what it DOES feature is an improvement from you in providing more development than in previous offerings. Again, your stories may not be in the the top tier (yet?), but I always enjoy watching (reading) an author who is making progress. Yes, you are getting better. Yes, keep going. Make those characters come alive, and jump off the page. Don't give up. While you may still have a long way to go, don't forget how far you have already come, in just a few short months. Whatever your personal reasons for writing, don't let ANYBODY discourage you in continuing with it.

Thanks for your efforts in continually trying to improve your product. I think it is paying off for you. Good Work!.

Youre dumb if you cant recognize ur wifes voice.

I think it would have been good for the readers to hear the wife's reaction to the divorce and her relationship with Doug. Thanks for your efforts.

It reads to me like an LW/BTB without violence. A bit simplistic but entertaining

I would say that wifey-poo got what she deserved, however, I am sure that she blames her ex husband for all of her troubles.

Not well rounded, needed more, but one of your better attempts at futility If you can't write the entire story don't bother

First of all,no school,even a private school,would hold 'leadership' conferences more than once a year,and this was according to the story,a school not exactly great.....the guy is a teacher,and you think he wouldn't know that such meetings are fairly rare,as are night meetings and such.Plus,given how long she was doing this (remember,she was seeing douchebag for 5 years),she would have been fired a long time ago assuming she took days off to see him.And of course,he couldn't recognize his wife's voice?plus how many married couples keep their finances totally separate like that?

Too many out there plot points to make this really work.

Atlas, the wicked slut has nobody but it is really the kid that gets the fucked-over version of life. Sad but true. Well done, author.

wow... awful..

Well the stupid cunt got almost all she wanted. She had a baby with her lover. However, her "dumb" husband knew she was trying to get pregnant and he knew he wasn't the father so she was cheating. Another stupid cunt. The lover also.

Although there were signs screaming at Scott that something was going on with Jane he ignored them because he thought she loved him and would never hurt him. He was in denial. We all have been there. Some of us figure it out sooner then others.

One of the other comments questioned how many married couples have separate finances? I do...My husband and I shared a checking account early in the marriage and I had my open savngs account. I later had my own checking account and he had his. We just agreed to pay the monthly bills each pay day. It worked better that way. And I know of others that do the same.

Good story though.

none so blind as those in love. at least he got away clean.

It seems impossible for such a deceit to go on. And having this guy's baby . Him getting alimony after he quit his job.? But for the males in this world , this outcome while fantastic. Never really happens. The way you wrote this it had to. Be

An at fault state. In most states the split would be 50-50. Can she be so deceitful and still live with herself and take care of a baby? Not a probability .

state of mind might lead to the goals set. TK U MLJ LV NV

And an unbelievable PUSSY!!! Anyone that fucking oblivious never had a marriage to begin with, and clearly, they were never married in Jane's mind. Yes, she's an evil cunt; but Pussy let it happen, and I find him nearly as contemptible.

“It might have been Jane but I couldn't be sure.” – He couldn’t recognize her voice?

How does this guy get his pants on by himself in the morning. Can't recognize his own wife's voice. Come on, he can't be that dumb. She is gone as much as she is home and he does not know anything about where she is. No wonder she cheats.

GOOD! ~ The twat got exactly what she deserved!

fag cuck shit.

Did you put ANY thought into your plot?

It took a while but the dumb idiot finally discovered she was just playing him. Fucking cunt got what she deserved.

One affair of serial cheating wife detailed on Facebook profile of dearbornmt@yahoo.com

Would make good story line for you

not the fact she was a round heeled slut, not thats not his fault, his fault lies in the fact that men think of women as delicate, creatures who need love & care. well they are not, they are just as the asshole you hate at work, they are just as sexist as you, & they also do have the same level of biases preconceived notions as you, finally they shit the same as you.... what am getting at is a woman is just a dude who you are attracted to, (may be that means your gay......;-) )

also check this out it shows how no media talks about this

http://www.wnd.com/2007/03/40665/

he didn't recognise his wife? her voice?

So few times does a cheating slut get what she honestly deserves. No job. Beaten by her lover. Lover in jail (and husband in no way connected). Even 30-70 split was overly generous. But divorce courts are nothing more than legalized pimps. Ahhhh. Every once in awhile....JUSTICE IS SERVED. Worthy of 5 Stars!

What husband does not know his wife's voice.

The Ultimate Betrayal? The woman you ask to marry decides she wants to carry another man's child. Wow.

The dumbass can only recognize his wife by her schedule and not from her face or body.

You ass-wipe authors that continually want to write about clueless, wimpy cuckold husbands should have your fingers broken so you can't write anymore of this kind of crap!

once again naiviety does not excel mentally, TK U MLJ LV NV

Doesn't recognise his wife's voice in the booth n3xt to him as she discusses his life to a tee? Really?

This wimp deserves all the heartache just for being terminally stupid.

is a wimpy cuckold who deserved what happened.

CRY CRY CRY and do nothing.

wimp 1 star

go away wanna be man(human)

What harsh comments!

Yes, it is unbelievable he didn't recognize

his wife's voice.

But he did, didn't he?

Why else come back to confirm his suspicions?

Ignoring all her meetings was stupid.

I agree with that.

Otherwise ths was a good story, well written

and a fun read.

4 out of 5 from me.

He won. She lost everything in the end. Cheating never pays.

He deserved what he got for being so blind and self deceiving. She was a monster, and he couldn't discern the personality traits and behavior modes of someone that selfish and evil? Simply unbelievable.

He fell in love with a woman unworthy of his love.

Dumb

Several of my past students had been locked up for various crimes. They all thought I was a decent person even though I was a teacher.

They found out what Doug had done to me and decided to get a little revenge on my behalf.

One night, while Doug was having his bi-weekly shower, the boys entered the shower block and attacked him.

Some of these kids were viscious. They left him a bleeding mess on the shower room floor. When the guards finally cleared the shower block later that night they found Doug on the floor. Doug spent several weeks in the infirmary and was never the same again. They did not even try to save his testicles or his dick they just cut them off. His left leg was removed from just above the knee. His right knee was replaced. Several ribs were broken as was his jaw.

Several years later I saw her when I returned to the town for the wedding of one of my former star students. She had really gone down hill something fierce. She looked as if she was about 120 years old. She saw me a recognised me and came over to apologise to me and ask me if we could get back together.

After I introduced her to my wife and 3 kids she left in tears saying she was sorry. Sorry doesn't cut it though. She brought her own ruin upon herself.

Seriously? This dumb fuck guy didn’t recognize his wife’s voice when he listed to a long conversation?

And too….this dumb fuck didn’t get curious about his wife’s school activities…being a teacher himself?

Just about the stupidest cuck husband ever on Lit!

To stupid to recognize his own wife? Voice, speech pattern, the same words, the GIANTIC coincidence of circumstances? If he's that dumb, it's lucky he never reproduced. The last third of the story was rushed to the point of it being nonsense. This is a GOOD story, and it needs a desperate rewrite.

3 stars - too many inconsistent holes in the plot.

another SWAMP DONKEY joins the herd!!! man the herd is getting very crowded!

See ladies and gentlemen this is a SWAMP DONKEY ... Many women have asked me what a SWAMP DONKEY is.. well here is the very definition

Good intentions, unimportant performance... Five stars.

Ran without standing up like a man. All characters were bad news.

Pathetic

What stupid fucking dolt wouldn't just say, 'fuck it' and check to see if it's his wife. He deserved everything he got. Hopefully his gutless genes don't get passed along.

This story presents so much wasted potential. It reads like a description of what the author intends to write. Instead of showing the reader the events and the conversations and developing the emotional impact, the author tells us what happened in summary form. There is not even a confrontation with the cheating wife! It is as if JRR Tolkien wrote the Lord of the Rings as a short story and said “A couple short little people found an evil ring so they took a journey across the land to destroy it and climbed up a volcano and tossed the ring in to destroy it”. Kinda leaves out a lot of the fun stuff that makes the saga enjoyable and exciting, dontcha think? This author needs to actually write this story in full and not just tell the reader what he plans to write.

Sees that his wife's taking more trips for "courses/ meetings" that others but says nothing. Moreso, he hears the talk between her & her lover, & it's the same as with his wife, but he doesn't flinch, but leaves the bar. Even when he's hearing that she'll be attending a week long seminar, supposedly, & she's hoping to get pregnant & pass it off to her "incredibly dumb" husband who'll be a good babysitter. Instead of turning around to face her, confirming it's his wife or no (she does look like her except for the hair color, but I suppose he never heard of a wig!), this wimp of a man still does nothing. There's little conversation between wife & hubby anywhere, and the results during & after the divorce is fast paced. While the wife's a total bitch in her self-deserving attitude, he's operating with rust in his brains. 2 stars Bob

It read like a bad newspaper clipping.

Better than your normal efforts, still awful just not as awful.

Why didn't the husband confront his wife? Because he's a chicken-shit of a man. He hears the conversation which's just what he's living with & doesn't record it. Doesn't recognize his wife because of a lousy wig? Doesn't take pictures of her with the guy, goes to the hotel & doesn't confront them ("you want him so badly? Don't return home but you can now stay with him). Correction, he's also a stupid, spineless individual disguised as a man. 2 stars on this tragedy, which's the story moreso that what happened in it. The author must love weak men. Bob

This was boring.

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2 **