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Will it be better than "Ideas"?
Will it be better than "Ideas"? I don't think so, but I'll wait and commente and rate it in the end...
Oh God, not another cuck story?!?
"Oscar's main fantasy was that his wife would have sex with another man, or men, and realise that she had been missing out with her husband."
Hopefully she will find herself a man soon and dump this piece of XY chromosome cuck shit. The sooner his organic matter is returned to the biosphere the better off the planet will be.
I enjoyed the "Ideas" series...
but it kind of got stale at the end. I'm hoping your introduction indicates that it will better. Yes, develop Irene; her feelings, thoughts, and sexual excitement.
Crap!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Let me see if I can understand this. You write a really CRAPPY story. When you finally end that piece of crap, you decide to rewrite it. Sorry but once crap it will always be CRAP. Stop writing, that will help plus change your name to robunsound because you are NOT of a sound mind.
If Irene Ends Up Making This a Forum on How to Humiliate Her Spouse Like Ideas
You can stop now.It ceased.to be plausible or erotic
Suggestion
The only way to really truly improve on the original story is, They all meet in some rich mansion that catches fire. They all burn to death slow and horribly.
Only true nut jobs will want to read this story. They would not be able to tell good from bad so why rewrite a turd?
The same basic mistake
a bank has it's employees soliciting in a bar. Can you spell liability. This was the same basic mistake that I mentioned the first time around. When it ain't never going to happen (Hollywood Moment) the story lacks the depth to continue. I stopped reading at that point AGAIN! And I can't imagine how you got from Oscar asking her if she got hit on to she isn't going to indulge his fantasy of her being hit on. Oh yeah you didn't. Just threw it in.
As someone else said it's a crappy story and isn't improved by re-writing rather you need to rethink your outlines!
?????
Rob, I commented on a couple of the "IDEAS" stories, so I just went back and scanned them all along with the comments. I see you must have eliminated voting and comments. I can't say I blame you. With few exceptions you got bad reviews and most of them really wasn't fair. Few managed to separate your writing skills from the story you were writing. Lets face it, submitting a story such as this after the first "IDEAS" makes you a glutton for punishment, unless you find some way to make Oscar more sympathetic to the readers. I never could do it and still keep in line with the requester's desires. Good Luck! I gave you a 4 on the basis of writing quality. (I find I hate husband humiliation stories also)
Well, it's obvious where this is going.....
....and while you might "make it better" it isn't likely you're going to make it different enough to be significantly different than the original storyline.
I guess we'll see, you did ask for patience as you develop this re-deployed, re-written story....um does that mean different better, or the same better?
GREAT STORY!!!!!!
Congratulations!
It's A Story**
Thanks for writing.
It's Your Story**
Kind of boring to me. Sorry!!!,
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