All Comments on 'Goodbye Kiss'

Too Bad

But c'mon, you got to give us more than this. I hate lazy writers. How long did it take you to write this, 5 minutes------10? And for this you want how many stars?

After all, what he did is the opposite of love...it's hate.

This is a 5* read. Short and to the point.

The wife has made her bed but every thing is a little bit light as a story goes.

It 5 star but needs more work.

...you have built up tension and curiousity (as should be), drawing your reader into an expectation and thenm just as you have got the possibility to use the developed beginning: - nada! How did she react (would she have reacted, actually), what happened to her lover? It is a sin when an author, under the pretense to be witty, interrupts his story at this point. Somewhat similar to a coitus interruptus. No one would consider getting dressed and walking out of a sucessful developing foreplay, right? In my eyes those "famous last words" didn´t really add anything to the story. He told her, he loved her too...apparently she didn´t love him (have to guess on that because the story does not point out anything here). Do you think it is logical to have him say that even though he is on the run already? And of course he would get quite a lot of problems dumping her possessions (clothes etc) without his wife agreeing to that. What about maintenance? Married partners cannot simply take all there is and quit, leaving the spouse with next to nothing.

All in all I liked the beginning and felt a bit of anger when the story stopped. Perhaps you should reconcider? Of course I will admitt that there always are some readers finding these ultra-short stories fabulous. Those "experts" usually have problems concentrating on stories that exceed half a page. I hope you will keep up your work - but extend your future stories a bit, if possible. They are worth it.

Looking forward to part 2.

No more needed...Another stupid cheater!!! Being in a dependant's visa and she cheats? After living in the USA how would she risked to return to the Philippines? So she risked it all, now will pay...He still loves her, but the trust and respect were destroyed...

Suspense build up is good, but there is no finale. The story just fizzles.

@Impo60: The story is obviously based in the UK. I know there is a Manchester in the US (probably several), but the original is in England. The US does not have a Home Office.

I'm not sure what the purpose was for posting this one. An experiment, maybe, to see how few words it would take to get a four star rating from the LW crowd? That is the only interesting aspect of this story for me.

this is one scene in one act. It is not a full act nor a full story

not quite enough to qualify as a flash story. Just a conversation without any clever twist, which I would expect in a flash.

I guess I am in the distinct minority here in that while I would like to have known liu's reaction and response they are not essential to the story which is complete.

Just because it isn't overtly sexual does not mean that it doesn't belong in LW. If has a wife in it who cheats and obviously doesn't love here husband so it meets the criteria of all but the strokers and swingerjoe who only seems to be interested in fuck around (with mutual agreement) stories .

This one was worth the read. The right length and told the tale. Thank you for posting it.

Its a 5 but needs more elaboration. What happened to the cheating guy? Nothing?

Pretty much just a recount to a friend of the details of his escape and revenge. Either the wife has suffered some emotional/mental change, or her true selfish shallow self just came to the surface. Which would mean he should have been more searching and careful in the courting process, or he got what he deserved. Either way not much drama, mystery, excitement, or eroticism. Not even a good first chapter to an extended story, unless you fill in all the background info and events that would explain how their marriage got to this point. And no revenge against the seducer? Oh, yeah, British reserve, stiff upper lip, and all that rot; wimps. You must really have no respect for British men. Suggest you read Who Dares Wins as an alternative perspective to the British cuckold.

Obviously you don't want to take the time to write a complete story. In fact, I've probably spent more time thinking about your story and writing this comment than you did writing the whole story. Sad.

But this really could do with a second chapter. You writers need remeber that you have already visualized an ending even though it wasn't written, so the story is complete in your mind but not to us readers. Really could use a follow up but no worries there. We always have FTDS and a quick entry on the sites writer blog will see a finishing chapter. Thanks for sharing

a reconciliation will be forthcoming TK U MLJ V NV

My day just wouldn't be complete without someone like seekeraz, IronDragon or some other member of the He-Man Woman Haters Club telling me what I like and don't like, what I believe, what my marriage is like, and putting words in my mouth.

I'll explain it to you, yet again, seekeraz. Please pay attention this time. What I like are stories that are interesting, entertaining, insightful, and/or erotic. This story was none of the above.

I like stories that are unique, stories that cause me to think, stories with rich character development and unexpected plot twists. This story had none of the above.

I don't care what genre a story fits, or what moral views the fictional characters have or lack, or whether it's a "cuck" or "BTB" tale. I just appreciate a well-told, well-written tale. This story isn't one of them.

Now...since turnabout is fair play, I could very easily speculate as to why you like this story. It has nothing to do with characters or plot or the quality of writing or anything else I just mentioned. The only reason you liked this story is because the cheating wife got what was coming to her. That's it. That's how you, and many others who visit this section, judge all stories. It is your one and only criteria separating a one-star story from a five-star.

It started out OK but the abrupt end kinda made me feel cheated. It's not a pleasant feeling and I really don't classify being cheated as entertainment. Since, I don't thank people for being cheaters I'll just say, nice try, hope you do better next time. On the bright side, it was less than one page.

Not so good if this was all there is to this story, which I think is the case. I find that flash stories seem to fall into two categories. Either they work really well and are fun and entertaining to read or they fall short and leave the reader with too many questions and an empty feeling. Since I think this is over I will have to put it in the second category. Interesting details as to how he's gone about dumping her but more detail about their lives and how they got to this point would have been welcome and some followup on the aftermath was needed. The only serious question I had was how does she live in England working as a Nurse and not have a good command of the language? Good communications in a hospital are mandatory and if she couldn't speak, read and write good English she wouldn't have had a job very long in the nursing profession. Just a thought. Thanks for the story. Maybe more detail next time.

Post a story when it is complete. This one isn't.

@ swingerjoe Somebody does not like cheater wives-fianceés-girlfriends it does not mean he does hate ALL WOMEN!

It means he does not like only the cheaters women a men alike!

Short quick BTB story 5**** for a non wimp British husband!

Frankly, this one hit home. Its about when you're in a fog of deceit and instinctively know to your very core something's wrong, but your significant other lies and tells you nothings wrong except that you are a mentally diseased psychopath for suspecting her. The narrator was smarter than I was and paid her back first said to see far more extensively than I would have .

I applaud well-written stories about polyamory. but what gets me in a primal level and because of personal experience is stories about liars getting 'theirs'. In terms of literary worth, I can't and will try to justify the 5-star rating that this is going to get from me, but in terms of actual enjoyment which is the bottom line at least in this forum - Full marks *****

I think those guys got you pretty well pegged. You're not fooling anybody. I've read plenty of your comments and they're always hint at sarcasm toward the btb crowd. I agree this story left me wanting but it belongs in this category just as much as any swinging, willing cuckold tale, which I find non-erotic boring drivel. But that's beside the point. I avoid those stories as much as possible and rarely comment on them. However you can't say the same about btb stories.You and your buddies, can't resist commenting on them, simply because you know it's going to cause controversy. Admit it, Joe,nobody really has to put words in your mouth. They're already there.

Author, an okay story, but I like closure. Stories that leave me hanging just don't do it for me. Need more fleshing out. Most flash stories leave me feeling like this one. blah. Sorry. Thanks for the effort. (ML)

So let's see, no plot. No character development. Nothing interesting and certainly nothing erotic. No emotion, just a single wasted page of nothing.

Well, surely this will be voted down by a few readers and ignored by most. After all, add I'm told over and over again, this site is for "real stories", not just porn. Certainly that means...

Oh? What's that? A woman suffers in this story? And there's implied racism to boot? Well, never mind then, cue the praise and 5 star votes. It would be "hall of fame" material if he physically injured her too, or ranted about divorce and custody laws and men's rights, but I'm sure it will still end up at with at least a for star rating.

I do see the implied racism in there, but other than that I liked it. Being Asian and not fully knowing the language doesn't equal being stupid. She isn't a child. She knows when someone is trying to fuck her no matter what language they speak. I feel that was a rather offensive presumption made by the author and the main character.

This was a simple flash story about a conversation between two friends. The back story is implied rather than fleshed out. The epilogue is imagined. Not a bad effort.

My take on you is based entirely on your comments. It's telling what you find entertaining and interesting and you have defined yourself. And I wasn't being all that critical of you. I no longer perceive you as a fan of humiliation, deception and betrayal so those factors are not what you find interesting or entertaining. What's left? Consensual fucking around, which is what I said, and graphic sexual descriptions.

I found interest in the story because of it's economy of words that still told the whole tale. I don't need or want to read the sexual cliche's that abound here and really don't like BTB all that much. I would have liked to see how the wife character responded but that would not change the completeness of the story as told.

@ javmore73 Generally I like your comments, even I do not agree you several times.

How can a husband be racist if he married an another race woman?

A cheating is independent to the race! Here the simple divorce means the cheating wife loses her working possibility visa, because the loverboy is married man.

If the loverboy divorces his wife (it may be he has kids) and he flies to the Phillippiness to marry her and to bring again to the country. This is enough civilizated BTB..........without wife murder etc....

about the mix of stories in LW. I don't know how to make this happen, but my thoughts for the day include the following splits:

1. "Real" LW stories should be posted in Romance, Non-erotic, etc.

2. Voluntary cuckold stories in Fetish.

3. Partner sharing stories in Group Sex.

4. Cheating, cuckold (involuntary), consequences, retribution, etc. stories in LW. (LW gets a new name?)

5. Others? (RAAC?)

While short, sharp and to the point this flash story still managed to tell a great deal of story in a realistic way.

@Tim413413

Your preaching to the quire mate. I 100% agree with your post but its not going to happen because Lauren says so. Maybe she likes the drama caused in LW for whatever reason, maybe the ability/knowledge to alter the section is lacking but either way the drama looks set to continue much to the detriment of Literotica as a whole.

To all the arseluks who wish to change the "Literotica" set up, if it ain't broke, don't fix it! Spencerfiction, good writing and reading story. BTB is right down my alley. Cheers!

If this is a US based marriage, once she married a US citizen, especially after eight years, she would be a permanent resident and thus would not be deported after the divorce. Secondly, to complete the story for your readers, you needed to describe what happens to the cheating man and his marriage.

I do not agree you. How the sexual majority husbands deal with some chalange in the marriage should be together...........

There are some big differences in laws between the US and UK.

But I'm pretty sure that both consider an immigrant staying for the purpose of marriage that did not intend to be faithful in the marriage to have entered the country fraudulently.

He warned her before she cheated that the other man was seducing her, and she cheated anyway.

Immigration fraud is reason for deportation in any country.

Let's have all characters represented. A story? No, a rumor, no more. *

The comment about vapid hearsay is amusing since all stories are hearsay. If the wife had kicked the engineer out of the house when he tried to kiss her than I would say that she did not understand his word, but any woman would understand his intentions. She was stupid for not shutting down the affair the first time the neighbors told him of the entry into his home....

It was just a conversation. And a good one. To relate enough with dialogue that narrative is unneeded takes skill. Good stuff.

Maybe I was too hasty in my findings about the implied racism. I was referring to when they were talking about how her English isn't too hot and how she "misunderstands everything". The other guy pointed out that she seemed so naïve. When I first read this story it seemed that they were saying that she was naïve because of the language barrier. Now when I reread it I see that they are referring to two different traits of her personality. My mistake. This was still a flash story that I liked.

A read.

Interestingly strange. However, not enough detail. Could have been great.

What a flash story should be.

I wish I could see her face when she opens the stuff on the laptop. 5 *'s

Wow !

It a wonderment you can write a 4*s flash story so well. Sharply witty ,to the point !

Spencerfiction why can't you keep this kind of focus for your multiple chapters stories?? You go to many pages and your story starts falling apart !

One can only wonder......

AMerryMan

A perfect flash story! Well done.

that is good enough for me 5* =)

that went by fast.

I gave it a five as an inducement for you to do more with it. You've set his wife up as someone with an ample absence of social skills. Of course she should know better, but there could be some extenuating circumstances that could give this story some muscle.

The woman's in a tight spot. If the guy cares enough he might be inclined to at least listen.

You could use your imagination.

....written to similar specifications. I liked what you did with the POV and your protagonist and how you got to the point.

He's not violent, but not putting up with the cheating. Decisive action and immediate response (relatively speaking), while stating that he still loves her, help make this one worth expanding.

but it just isn't quite enough to even be a flash

I agree with rightbank and several others. This story was good but I wish it was longer and more in depth. It was a good BTB story but too short. Thanks for your writing.

I feel so empty not getting to read about her shock and reactions when she got home.

you stopped right at the best part!

My 2nd wife. Now, some 45 years later, I still remember that kiss. I loved that woman when she was with me, the problem was she sometimes was with others.

Things happen in life.

She remembers that kiss also, mentioned in an email to me about 5 years ago after she found me on Facebook.

I didn't answer her.

There is no fix for a cheater.

It was just getting good. Although I get the focus on the kiss, I'd still like to know what happened after her shift.

all the fun is in the cheater's reaction. *

another faggoty brit cuck.

First he's her boyfriend, as the story goes. Then he's married to her. Which is it, boyfriend or husband?

Anonymous 1*, if you actually read the story you might have noticed that on a couple of occasions they are referred to as married and that the narrator was her husband. The only boyfriend mentioned is the extra-marital one she has taken up with at the cost of her marriage. It is a tiny story, so please pay attention as all the story is in the words I have delivered, and readers who concentrate while reading wouldn’t need to ask questions that clearly defines your definition as anonymous.

would like to read her reaction when she got home

maybe there will be a good story someday *

Would've been better with an aftermath roundup.

Seems JPB is rubbing off on SF, leaving the ending to the reader's imagination. FTDS, where are you?

I like that kind of BTB. Just leave the cheating bitch high and dry, wondering what just happened.

All covered in short and succinct

I really liked this line: "I'm recycling all her clothes through Oxfam." That's brutal! I never heard of that one before.

Again, seriously good revenge on the cheating wife.

Really needs continuing for an insight into the aftermath. But was a good read so far just feels unfinished.

Earlier I commented on one of your other stories intimating it was too long at six chapters, this was way to short and would have benefitted from a couple more pages.

There doesn’t appear to be a happy medium where your work is concerned.

This is so good, and so British, that I might have a cup of tea after reading it again.

Well done!

I read this story a few years ago

but forgot to leave a comment.

I think US writers (especially recent ones)

should read this story.

To see how one can be done

without clichés.

Don't get me wrong.

I'm not criticizing US writers (much).

Some are among our best writers,

But they DO overdo clichés.

This story

isn't watered down with them.

The plot is fresh and to the point.

Though I do agree with comment

saying the fun part (aftermath)

was missing.

Top ratings from me.

No nonsense approach. Bit short but compact.

Oh short, sharp and so to the point.

Good story, nice shot at a BTB type read.

This vignette (not a story) was too sparse

BTW, you should concentrate on getting Liu/Lui's name consistent. Two stars.

JPB

Nice clean shot. Thank you.

Quite a condensed burn. Seems odd that being unfamiliar with English and with her vis status at risk (maybe she is clueless?) that she would not even listen to ot her husband. Also why did he not intervene once he saw the communications. As soon as he hears she is bringing him thr house, that seemed like a huge line to cross. So what of it leads to a big argument. He probably already had enough material to burn the husband. Instead he waits and loses all agency and they sleep together. There is no upside to not intervening when he knows it is going down the drain and unlike most aggrieved spouses had plenty of emails, texts and other information. Stage an intervention. Get outside people. Contact one of her family members who also knows English. Don't just let the blackmtide roll over your marriage. Yeah he gets a strong, harsh burn. But at what cost? He just let her cross the Rubicon without confronting her with what he knows. Who cares if she tosses put the privacy argument. Yes it may case resentment in their marriage. Sounds like she is screwed with the 28 day visa deadline irrespective of the reason for a divorce. Does she know the asshole is married? Was she hoping to trade up? And why woukd she be into a smooth talker twice her age. Really? He doesn't come off as loaded and unclear if she knows he is hitched (well until yhr divorce).

Really not sure why so many husbands in LW stories just sit back and wait and gather intelligence but do virtually nothing about it. He knew that she was being groomed and saw all the emails. But instead just waits until they have sex in their house. Wtf? Take action. You can still divorce her afterwards or try counseling if you stopped it from going past the red line, which for this husband was her having sex with the asshole. How exactly does "sitting" and watching the trainwreck all the way to the end serve thr best outcome for him let alone both of them? You don't get points for serving a better burn. Wtf? Take action, stop at when it gets too serious and then decide how to proceed. That way keep agency and can reflect on best course of action. Can still separate or divorce, but acting takes the worst case scenario off the table. Yeah she was cheating but sounds like she wss naive but proud. Whatever.

Ironic. Lot of readers applaud the nuts but not fail to castigated for the lack of action when he already knows his marriage is in danger. He has plenty of intel but sits back and waits. Whatever. 3 stars.