All Comments on 'Gemini Summer Ch. 01'

cant wait to read the rest of the chapters keep them coming

Great characters & dialog, Hot, not, hot. Continue this series please.

You call her Parisa, Parissa and Pasia . Use a simple name like Kelly so you can keep up with it.

Keep 'em cumming!

A very nice start. Please keep them interesting and consensual.

This being your first story, it is pretty good. You have talent. I found a few annoying typos,but nothing like I have seen in some others. The story line is very promising. Now you need to get the next chapters out quickly. You have a following now, don't disappoint! The List is very cool idea for the twins. Will be following to see how well you handle this. I would suggest getting an editor if you can't find all the problems your self. Keep up the GREAT WORK!

I have been reading erotica here since at least 2010, if not a few years before that. Up until now I have not seen anything so artfully written that appeals to certain darker sides of my kink life, (I love it, kinks so dirty I keep them hidden even from fetlife xD) than this particular article. This writing made me want to respond badly enough to create my own profile on the website after so many years of silent perving. Now my internet presence has finally expanded back into the world of literature...

Introductions aside, time for your review. The subject matter certainly made the attractiveness of this story exponentially greater for me. Being an Oregon born native, reading a story with locations I can visually imagine is amazing. I picture these twins living out Burnside up on Skyline, in one of the mini-mansions. Oh the woes of first world problems!

The grammar was phenomenal. If I did find a literary error, it was perhaps one singular word that was meant to have a plural tense. I can see that you didn't just use spell-check and ignore the green squigglies. It always shows when an author will actually re-read and check their work for grammar as well as spelling. Even when writing the vernacular of the twins the grammar seemed to flow properly.

I look forward to the nine other installments you have involving these two. You have opened yourself for all sorts of possibilities, between voyeurism to group sex to reluctance, these twins seem to have an exciting summer ahead of them.

P.S. I never finish a writing once I realize it will not contain a full sex scene. Kudos and breadcrums.

Really good for a first story. The build up to whats coming next is good and will probably get even better over the chapters. My thoughts, keep them exclusive to each other, slowly fall head over heels for each other, eventually epic sex, live together at college, romantic high jinks ensue, Parisa gets pregnant, they tell their parents, get married and live happily ever after raising their kids. Looking forward to the next 9 chapters. I know sappy right, but I'm a romantic.

I think writing for Literotica is mostly for one's self. We readers are fortunate voyeurs, though some take it too seriously. I look forward to enjoying more of your delicious pleasures.

I enjoyed this bit of fun and look forward to the next chapter.

Too often stories are ruined by gigantic cocks or tits, you stayed away from that. The twins seemed believable and I find myself hoping they get in bed soon :)

I ploughed on regardless, and believe me, there are much, MUCH better stories on the site than this one, perhaps you should read some of them to get some pointers on how a good story is paced, built-up and finished satisfactorily. I can't honestly give you one star, as that would be both malicious and unfair; you made the effort at least, but I can't in all good conscience give you any other score either. Sorry.

Ericka,

This story was very pleasing to me. As others have commented there were no huge 'breasts' or giant 'cocks'. The writing was well done but I agree an editor is a plus. My one complaint, and it is not just you, Connie saw her 'shutter'. Does that mean she closed down? The correct word is 'shudder'. That being said the story gets 5 stars from me. Looking forward to the next 9 chapters.

Daytymer

This was a great start to a promising story. Please continue!

I can't wait to read more.

I thought this was a good start to what has the potential to be a great series. The anonymous who said it wasn't the greatest story and would only give it one star is one whose comments you should ignore. Although this might not be the greatest story on here it is a good one so far. Not to mention the amount of tripe that is one here as well is staggering so keep up the good work. I can't wait for the next chapter.

It will be fun to follow these two as they check off items on their list. Keep up the good work.

What - she turned into a form of window screen?

Maybe try "shuddered".

Other than, a fine effort.

Loved It-Please continue

This story sounds great and has me really intrigued to see if they do finish the list.

Please finish!!!

... with the comments of several others... Please continue! Don't leave us hanging in suspense! I understand that writing serialized fiction isn't always easy, and sometimes life interrupts our efforts to do so, but you've got us all worked up and left us hanging... So please, carry on as quickly as possible!

Great story.... Please write some more!

Despite few quirks here and there, it's one of a few stories i really look forward to!

If i had to guess,(spoiler alert) i think i see HOW exactly that "Veto" rule about "together or not at all" is going to backfire, but that's just guessing so it's ok?

It's a shame this author never continued. She had a good start and definitely piqued my curiosity for more.

Well thats another letdown. An author promises a 10 part series and stops 5 years ago with only one part. When is literotica management going to insist on a whole series being written and submitted before publishing any of it???