Great beginning! Can’t wait to read more. There’s far too few stories of this type on Literotica. My compliment at doing a great job at drawing out the eroticism, like where you give little hints early in the story of what is to come later – and hopefully, what will cum later too. My only criticism is that some of your dialog was a little awkward, but that will come with practice. One suggestion to spice it up a bit:: give the guy a big dick -- but that's just a personal preference from a girl's perspective.
by
Anonymous03/09/15
this is a good beginning.
I agree with Jenny_C. I look forward to reading more.
English
Great story line
Part 1, 2, 3 are terrific teasers cannot wait for more.
Great Start
Great beginning! Can’t wait to read more. There’s far too few stories of this type on Literotica. My compliment at doing a great job at drawing out the eroticism, like where you give little hints early in the story of what is to come later – and hopefully, what will cum later too. My only criticism is that some of your dialog was a little awkward, but that will come with practice. One suggestion to spice it up a bit:: give the guy a big dick -- but that's just a personal preference from a girl's perspective.
this is a good beginning.
I agree with Jenny_C. I look forward to reading more.
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