Sexual Warriors

Needs an editor

Grammatical errors turned me off to your story. Find someone to proofread before submitting.

Agree with anonymous

You have the core of a good story here, but it's hard to read because of all the grammatical errors. Find an editor, and you'll do much better.

What a complete train wreck

Did you even bother to proof read this mess? When she shoves the wooden dildo up his ass she tears his sphincter muscle to shreds and he bleeds to death. Everything else was just ridiculous. And pay his debts? Most guys would arm themselves and go back hunting and killing anything they found. These women are so stupid they'd be easy to squish like bugs. Badly done.

There's a good story in here, but you really do need an editor. Basic punctuation and spelling mistakes are all through this story, which made it a hard read. But you've got some great descriptions, and the premise of the story is quite hot. Take advantage of the free editors in the site, and your next story should be much better.