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Indoor Paradise Ch. 01

byrockyholly©
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Comments (7)
by Anonymous

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by doug_nought03/08/15

Fucking A

Damn, this was good. Hope Stick Man sticks it in Mom in chapter 2

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by Anonymous03/08/15

Stop writing in present tense. It's dumb.

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by redlion7503/08/15

you have given no reason for mom to walk in and ask her son to tit fuck her.sounds like he is dreaming,so he needs to wake up before he fucks up

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by Anonymous03/08/15

what a great first-time story--and it's by a guy in his early 20s

So we've got a sequel and other excellent stories to look forward to. 18 year old Parker is a all lanky kid, but long and thick where it counts. At his age, the boy's a nonstop semen producing machine--as his mother soon finds out. Massaging his mom's voluptuous body gets him harder than he's ever been before and really stirs his hot young balls. I love how his mother calls herself "mommy" as she presents her bountiful breasts to embrace her boy's hard young cock. Parker feels his cock surrounded by warm loving mommy-tit, and the kid soon gifts his mommy with huge spurts of his warm creamy semen. As doug_nought suggests, mommy's got an even better place for her boy to spurt his sperm. Tell us all about it, Mr. RH.

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by Anonymous03/08/15

Pointless story

Writing in present tense isn't a mark of maturity or good technique; it's pretentious and annoying. The story is on par with "I saw my mom, and suddenly she took off all her clothes and said 'fuck me , baby!' so I did and it was good, the end."
I agree with Redlion75; this came out of nowhere, no build-up, no prior indication that there was anything brewing between mother and son, noting in the first half of the 'story' except that he was permanently horny; duh! He's eighteen, of course he is, that's a given. Other than the obvious cliches, this story is about nothing whatsoever, so it's a 1*, because you couldn't be bothered (or don't have enough talent) to try and be even a little bit original.

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by Anonymous03/08/15

Enjoyable

If this was your first story, you did OK. Check out some other writers and see how they carry on the story to a really great climax. Cannot wait for your next chapter. Regards,

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by Anonymous03/09/15

Good short story

Although short, many true feelings and emotions are revealed in this story. Mom probably knows about hidden desire but is unsure how to react. A good situation may present itself if patient.

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