I think you can accept that the 1's are really 0's. I don't think even Bonnie likes this shit.
But you don't have to call her Bonnie, you can call her Ronnie, or you can call her Johnnie, or you can call her Betty, or you can call her Petty, or you can call her Big Nut, or you can call her Big Butt, or you can her . . .
OH dear annony! The old ones ars still the best!! You're so funny
like cancer in you mouth, you fucking ass wipe!!! Gave it a 5 and I really don't give a rat's balls what you call me!! We all know your brain is full of dog shit!!
I doubt I have about the commentors: Can it be possible that @anon and @bonnietaylor2 be husband and wife or even ex- husband and ex-wife? Just kidding, but they make me laugh...My thanks to them...
by
Anonymous03/10/15
Gave it a 1
to offset that foul mouthed bonnietaylor2. Author you can thank this bitch for lowering your score.
by
Anonymous03/10/15
Save your money and hire a PA with benefits.......
costs a LOT less than an unfaithful wife and all the kink you're ever going to be able to handle.
Smart execs don't marry for love, because the attrition rates are so high, the carrying costs enormous, and the settlements, even with prenups also very costly.
This story was just plain stupid on every level. Clearly, wifey thinks hubby is an idiot and has no love lost for him, happy to cheat with anyone she can....while hubby is recording everything he can promote and getting his rocks off watching wifey cheat, rather than fucking her (or someone else) himself.
Nope, it's all just plain nonsense....and just like the 2,344 other "Wife's cheating with the hired help while hubby watches, films, whatever" stories already planted in this forum's long history.
Boring.
This seems to be only your third posting PA7, so readers really should be offering advice to help you get better instead of cutting you down. However, there is a group of readers on LW who seem intent on killing the site, and to be truthful, it looks like they are successful. Do you notice how few stories are posted each day? Seems to me there were a lot more mere months ago. As I write this, Taboo, another site I have submitted to has over twice as many new stories. Way to go Anons--curse the darkness don't light a candle.
Now to try to offer advice: Your writing skills seem pretty good. Your imagination leaves something to be desired; or maybe I should say your story telling instinct. I read this story first, then the one about the Maytag repairman. In both cases you rush to get her fucked and him out of the house. Man, use buildup to the sex scene, buildup is the foreplay of a story. Don't let your female character respond to a question about how the sex was with this answer, "I don't know. It seemed like it was over before I realized anything was happening." Sorry, but that's the impression your stories give me.
Most of all, don't give up writing. You have the ability; practice and study will make you really good. Study all the Writers Helps listed here in Lit. Mostly they are written by people who know what they are talking about. Good Luck!
English
Another idiot posting...
By an idiot author.
I think you can accept that the 1's are really 0's. I don't think even Bonnie likes this shit.
But you don't have to call her Bonnie, you can call her Ronnie, or you can call her Johnnie, or you can call her Betty, or you can call her Petty, or you can call her Big Nut, or you can call her Big Butt, or you can her . . .
OH dear annony! The old ones ars still the best!! You're so funny
like cancer in you mouth, you fucking ass wipe!!! Gave it a 5 and I really don't give a rat's balls what you call me!! We all know your brain is full of dog shit!!
Still...
Still I don't see the real purpose of this story...So for now I'll not rate it...I'll do it in the end...
I doubt I have about the commentors...
I doubt I have about the commentors: Can it be possible that @anon and @bonnietaylor2 be husband and wife or even ex- husband and ex-wife? Just kidding, but they make me laugh...My thanks to them...
Gave it a 1
to offset that foul mouthed bonnietaylor2. Author you can thank this bitch for lowering your score.
Save your money and hire a PA with benefits.......
costs a LOT less than an unfaithful wife and all the kink you're ever going to be able to handle.
Smart execs don't marry for love, because the attrition rates are so high, the carrying costs enormous, and the settlements, even with prenups also very costly.
This story was just plain stupid on every level. Clearly, wifey thinks hubby is an idiot and has no love lost for him, happy to cheat with anyone she can....while hubby is recording everything he can promote and getting his rocks off watching wifey cheat, rather than fucking her (or someone else) himself.
Nope, it's all just plain nonsense....and just like the 2,344 other "Wife's cheating with the hired help while hubby watches, films, whatever" stories already planted in this forum's long history.
Boring.
Where to begin?
This seems to be only your third posting PA7, so readers really should be offering advice to help you get better instead of cutting you down. However, there is a group of readers on LW who seem intent on killing the site, and to be truthful, it looks like they are successful. Do you notice how few stories are posted each day? Seems to me there were a lot more mere months ago. As I write this, Taboo, another site I have submitted to has over twice as many new stories. Way to go Anons--curse the darkness don't light a candle.
Now to try to offer advice: Your writing skills seem pretty good. Your imagination leaves something to be desired; or maybe I should say your story telling instinct. I read this story first, then the one about the Maytag repairman. In both cases you rush to get her fucked and him out of the house. Man, use buildup to the sex scene, buildup is the foreplay of a story. Don't let your female character respond to a question about how the sex was with this answer, "I don't know. It seemed like it was over before I realized anything was happening." Sorry, but that's the impression your stories give me.
Most of all, don't give up writing. You have the ability; practice and study will make you really good. Study all the Writers Helps listed here in Lit. Mostly they are written by people who know what they are talking about. Good Luck!
what a stupid little fag.
Total dog shit.
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