All Comments on 'For the Whored Ch. 084'

Great story, but a couple things bug me a little. You need to make some sort of break when the scene changes or time passes, otherwise I think it's part of the previous scene. Second, you tend to repeat things from pasts chapters over and over again.

Zelinnia I think will be the next one for having family visit the town which I think the town will welcome them as long as they don't start trouble.

I would agree with Anon above. This site seems to dislike just using Enter so maybe add something like:

****

to indicate new scene. Just a little thing but often makes me double take to realise that characters have moved around or newly appeared.

Otherwise, great work!

I will freely admit that scene transitions have never been my strongest subject.

Granted, this goes along with my normal speech patterns in that people I am speaking to have no idea I changed the subject, but in my mind, I told them. It's rather frustrating for both me and listener.

The rest of this series is already loaded up to post, and if I sent in chapter changes now, it might actually derail posting until further notice.

HOWEVER: I am doing my best to modify and notate scene changes a lot better in everything else I have in editing to post. Hopefully, I can correct some of this issue.

As to the other thing, I tend to "explain" everything to new characters, with the thought in mind, that if someone picked it up right this moment, they wouldn't be left behind, and/or, if you're reading this over a long period, you don't have to go "wait, why is that guy doing that thing?" and have to reread the mess.

That being said, there's a shit load less reexplaining from this point out, and I only commit a minimum "summary" in the early couple of chapters for "stormwind".

Also, I love when readers try to guess what's going to happen next :3