Engaging and believable F/m femdom stories are rare gems. Your description of London created the perfect atmosphere for Emily and David to step into their relationship naturally and without contrivance. I adored Emily's emerging playful cruelty. I am curious about how their relationship develops, so I encourage you to share more of their adventures.
To nitpick, you do have a few punctuation and spelling errors, but otherwise this is quality writing.
by
Anonymous03/12/15
SO bad I'm STILL laughing!
Totally unbelievable. I think the first time she slapped him he either kicked the snot out of her or had her arrested for assault being a new lawyer and all. Either get an editor or proof read your submissions. This was beyond silly and lacked any type of clever writing. Just not a fun story to read. No stars.
Congratulations on writing such a believable story, especially as a first submission to Literotica. Take a little more care over the way you present your story, but know that this was a fine first attempt. I would love to read more, and remember that you are never going to write anything that pleases everyone; no-one ever has, but you're doing fine. Four stars.
Thank you so much for sharing this story. The seeds of your D/s relationship with David struck such a chord with me, from essentially vanilla beginnings and slowly evolving into something darker and more intense.
Your story is well written and gives me renewed hope that the Mistress of my dreams out there somewhere. I am breathless for the next chapter Miss Emily. Thank you!
5 stars for being so real! I anxiously hope to see more of your story!
by
Anonymous03/14/15
Appreciate your efforts and happy the tale is being well received.
A writer telling a story from their eyes, a personal story, is a style.
What took the edge away and slowed it down for me were the bits sprinkled throughout where the personal got in the way of moving the story along, where it turned into a writer writing to impress themselves.
Best wishes.
by
Anonymous03/20/15
Losers can be winners
My jealousy of David pales in comparison to my hatred of the winner who is now your 24/7. Theres not a sane man in the world who wouldn't kill to be him.
English
Engaging and believable F/m femdom stories are rare gems. Your description of London created the perfect atmosphere for Emily and David to step into their relationship naturally and without contrivance. I adored Emily's emerging playful cruelty. I am curious about how their relationship develops, so I encourage you to share more of their adventures.
To nitpick, you do have a few punctuation and spelling errors, but otherwise this is quality writing.
SO bad I'm STILL laughing!
Totally unbelievable. I think the first time she slapped him he either kicked the snot out of her or had her arrested for assault being a new lawyer and all. Either get an editor or proof read your submissions. This was beyond silly and lacked any type of clever writing. Just not a fun story to read. No stars.
Very nicely done!
Congratulations on writing such a believable story, especially as a first submission to Literotica. Take a little more care over the way you present your story, but know that this was a fine first attempt. I would love to read more, and remember that you are never going to write anything that pleases everyone; no-one ever has, but you're doing fine. Four stars.
Very good beginning
This is a very engaging tale and believable, the comment by anonymous is just some bloke which has no clue. I'm awiting the next segment.
More please
Really looking forward to reading the next instalment
ASAP please
great! cant wait for more (:
Well done, keenly waiting for more!
This was one of the best stories I have read here...
My only comment is it was a bit short.
Perfect start Miss Emily
Thank you so much for sharing this story. The seeds of your D/s relationship with David struck such a chord with me, from essentially vanilla beginnings and slowly evolving into something darker and more intense.
Your story is well written and gives me renewed hope that the Mistress of my dreams out there somewhere. I am breathless for the next chapter Miss Emily. Thank you!
Great story Ms. Emily!
5 stars for being so real! I anxiously hope to see more of your story!
Appreciate your efforts and happy the tale is being well received.
A writer telling a story from their eyes, a personal story, is a style.
What took the edge away and slowed it down for me were the bits sprinkled throughout where the personal got in the way of moving the story along, where it turned into a writer writing to impress themselves.
Best wishes.
Losers can be winners
My jealousy of David pales in comparison to my hatred of the winner who is now your 24/7. Theres not a sane man in the world who wouldn't kill to be him.
L.Karamazov
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to Don't Break Her Rules or
More submissions by missemily1989.