stories is the very poor use of words and terms. The best example in this story: "We lied next". You need more than spell check, if the wrong word is spelled correctly, spell check says it is good even tho the sentence may be pure trash. Get an editor and grow some balls.
by
Anonymous03/27/09
Why didnt you suggest his girl be a Hooter's
waitress and save everyone the trouble. We know a lot of waitresses at Hooter's and only one of them was married. Most were divorced or college girls working their way thru college. Now you know you wife makes good tips because she fucks guys on the side. Does that help your immaturity? Why do some guys on here need to be cucked and thereby told with no question they are inferior and not worth loving or lusting after? I guess most whores and such need a guy to provide them with a home and food while they pursue their lifes ambition to die of AIDS.
by
Anonymous08/23/09
Good story potential but needs lots of work
As others said, maybe English is not easy for you. Learn to uses tenses properly. Use of present tense is a fad and detracts from the action.
by
Anonymous08/23/09
Yikes - what a pile of dog shit!
Come on, author - is this your best effort at a plausible plot line [look it up if you do not comprehend the word]? Why waste your time [and a lot of it, it would appear] to draft this pile of dog shit? The category is way off and the character development is at a 4th grade level. Please use a real editor and then publish.
by
Anonymous06/29/10
loved it!
I enjoyed the buildup, I read it first then reread it with my fiance, worked very well for us
by
Anonymous09/26/10
What a load of mindless crap!!
This says it all. Absolutely worthless!!!!!!!!!!!!
English
Besides your many obvious cuck or near gay
stories is the very poor use of words and terms. The best example in this story: "We lied next". You need more than spell check, if the wrong word is spelled correctly, spell check says it is good even tho the sentence may be pure trash. Get an editor and grow some balls.
Why didnt you suggest his girl be a Hooter's
waitress and save everyone the trouble. We know a lot of waitresses at Hooter's and only one of them was married. Most were divorced or college girls working their way thru college. Now you know you wife makes good tips because she fucks guys on the side. Does that help your immaturity? Why do some guys on here need to be cucked and thereby told with no question they are inferior and not worth loving or lusting after? I guess most whores and such need a guy to provide them with a home and food while they pursue their lifes ambition to die of AIDS.
Good story potential but needs lots of work
As others said, maybe English is not easy for you. Learn to uses tenses properly. Use of present tense is a fad and detracts from the action.
Yikes - what a pile of dog shit!
Come on, author - is this your best effort at a plausible plot line [look it up if you do not comprehend the word]? Why waste your time [and a lot of it, it would appear] to draft this pile of dog shit? The category is way off and the character development is at a 4th grade level. Please use a real editor and then publish.
loved it!
I enjoyed the buildup, I read it first then reread it with my fiance, worked very well for us
What a load of mindless crap!!
This says it all. Absolutely worthless!!!!!!!!!!!!
lol
the huband got what he wanted a freshly fuck wife.....lol
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