All Comments  for

Birthday Surprise

byBfarr16©
All
Comments (6)
by Anonymous

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous03/17/15

So he's Bi?

After all these years married his wife, without conversation or prelim, simply brings a
tranny into their bed. He suddenly has only a towel on, drops the towel without turning on a light? The gets into bed with what he assumes is 2 women. And then discovers it's NOT 2 women? And he's okay with that? What about diseases? What if he wasn't okay sucking the Tranny's cock or getting ass fucked by the Tranny? This wasn't a birthday surprise. It was a birthday disaster and the start of a divorce. Horrible story.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by JoJoJudd03/17/15

Seriously?

Please proofread your work and then have a friend read it. This is just pain indicative of what our schools are producing now-a-days.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous03/17/15

Anonymous agrees.

I agree. This thing stretches implausibility and then some. Try again, BeerFart16, only this time make sure the story has some logic before you write it. You sure as fuck didn't do it with this one!

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by BrendaNW03/19/15

sweet..

I would love a birthday like that... but maybe have me dressed all day including going out for the night.. oh yeah.. then back for a fun surprise evening.. maybe the new friend would meet us after dinner for drinks and a snack then my wife invites her to come home with us. ;)

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by BrendaNW03/19/15

mostly ignore them

The story is what is important... this isn't an English class... it is the creativity that counts.. please continue..

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous03/20/15

Ignore them? How stupid.

Yes, the story is important, but that doesn't mean grammar and punctuation and spelling get to be set aside. "War and Peace" is considered one of history's greatest novels, but it would have been considered fourth-rate trash if it contained poor grammar and spelling. If the author can't be bothered to proofread his work, why should we be bothered to subject ourselves to such poor workmanship?

It was a good effort, but a good story means nothing if we have a hard time reading it. You would do well to get yourself a proofreader for your next story, as several others have said. It's a learning process, so don't give up. :)

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.

Click here to leave your own comment on this submission!  or
Back to Birthday Surprise  or
More submissions by Bfarr16.

Add a
Comment

Post a public comment on this submission (click here to send private anonymous feedback to the author instead).

Post comment as (click to select):

You may also listen to a recording of the characters.

Preview comment

Forgot your password?

Please wait

Change picture

Your current user avatar, all sizes:

Default size User Picture  Medium size User Picture  Small size User Picture  Tiny size User Picture

You have a new user avatar waiting for moderation.

Select new user avatar:

   Cancel