The Marriage Ch. 09

My my

I just finished all of your writing to date. Today 8/17/2015. Enjoyed every story you wrote. You have a gift of telling tales, and the intelligence to convey your thoughts. I personally like feel good stories. Gave you the highest marks. Thank you very much for your efforts. Outstanding!

Just plain loved it!!!

Each chapter...the whole story...GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You truly are great!!

This was undoubtedly one of the best series I have read. Loved it. Please continue writing as you do.

Excellent

Words fail me. I hope "Thank You" suffices

It has been said that words fail to describe these stories. I must agree. DreamCloud is a masterful and talented writer whose stories touch the hearts of all who read them. I thought "The Job" was the best but I believe "The Marriage" surpasses all others. We are all truly fortunate that DreamCloud shares his incredible talent with us.

Non-populated World

The only beef I have with the story, is that these are supposed to be kingdoms, but what the author describes is each farming community having their own royalty and castles. They're even smaller than fiefdoms. This seems extremely impractical and unrealistic. Actual kingdoms (especially ones that took weeks to traverse), would have 100's of thousands up to millions of subjects spread throughout cities and farming villages. The standing armies would be counted by the 10 thousand and not less than 500 combined from two different kingdoms in an alliance. The lack of any people populating the world was the biggest distraction. The actual story and romance were superb. However, another little burr is the lack of a biological reaction in Angelica and Mylle from penetration. I understand not getting excited, but even rape victims get wet to protect their sexual organs, and the growing love between all of them would have made it believable to explore a direction where they actually did derive pleasure from being with their man.

I liked it....

It's not perfect, but on this crazy site? How lucky can we get to see future authors practicing on us.

bill....

5s all the way...

Nicely done!

No need for further comment! :)

Such a good story.

I never comment on this stuff but this was a deliciously good story. Thank you. Love it. No critiscisms.

To go with the world issues from anon

Yeah, the population thing was odd. Even in countries with smaller populations in Medieval times, they numbered into the hundreds of thousands, and even the smallest armies were into the thousands. Conquering armies? Tens of thousands. Largest(For Europe anyways, China fielded massive armies at the time) was the Umayyad Caliphate with some 120 thousand during the Siege of Constantinople.

Here we have kingdoms invading with hundreds? Maybe internal fief fighting, but not kingdoms.

Also, Siege engines took weeks to make, not days.

Of course, we have the much more liberal ideologies about homosexuality than existed. Yes, homosexuals have always existed, and I am sure some royalty and nobility were homosexual and had secret lovers, just like all the others with their secret lovers, but never, ever would they have come out with it.

But hey, it is a fictional story on a site for erotic literature, I should probably stop over analyzing.

I loved the actual story itself though.

Excellent Story

Very enjoyable and well written story. Looking forward to more of your submissions.

wonderful

An incredible story. Very entertained. Confused at ages of kids at end. But overwhelmed with your creativity. Thank you.

Wow

Just wow. This was such an enjoyable read. I am almost at the end of devouring your submissions in no particular order and I am greatly saddened by that. I urge others reading this to explore your immense ability to spin a tale. Thank you.

Consistent voice

Wonderful story.
Mid-way through re-reading, it occurred to me how perfectly you set the exact right tone with your choice of language for Cayden's voice. So often while reading a "period" story like this a reader encounters some overly flowerly language or an inappropriate colloquialism that pulls them out of the narrative. Not here. In addition, Cayden's voice always bespoke his royal upbringing, no vulgarities or coarse language for him.
The words always seemed to flow effortlessly, without calling attention to the skill (and sweat) required to wrangle them into place. Excellent work.

had to laugh at the end

the story had come full circle, there was much to learn and have learnt in this story, the maturity and growth of the characters, of Cayden and his desire for his family's happiness, well written. underlying it all is that love is a strong rive in us that we can only surrender to it no matter what we are that to love fully, courageous in love being equals and having trust makes for a happy home and happy life.

well done

Well written...

For a period piece set in ancient times this is one of the best I have read. The wording was close to perfect. I did notice a couple of spelling errors in names but will blame them on modern autocorrect not understanding the olden times spellings... LOL
Again well done Lord DreamCloud
Myassisdragin

Epilogue

Great tale

Would have enjoyed a 30 years hence but otherwise nice unconventional story.

Incredible story!

Beautifully written with solid characters and a well designed narrative arc. I commend you.

Excellent

Excellent on all counts. Characters, depth, setting, dialogue. I really thought Uri was going to turn out gay, but your story choice ended up so much better. A real pleasure to read.

One of the best on this site

I read this story straight through. The character's were great and the story just seems to draw you in. I loved it.

An observation on the writing style.

I couldn't help but notice that everytime there's a one to one dialogue, its followed by something like My love or My wife or My husband. Not once did I find the person addressing the other by his or her name. You should probably not make it repetitive... Great story though, loved it.

Excellent!

Loved the story...read it straight through. It was well laid out and thoughtful......just dang good!

Best. Story. Ever.

See Above.

Thoroughly enjoyable

Came to this story from "The Link" and found the storyline so different to all the others by Dreamcloud so far, causing me to struggle with it a bit, but by the end of the second part I was hooked and couldn't stop reading. Well done !

Magnificent

A true work of art. Thank you for sharing your talent with us.

All those comments...

I have now read many of your stories. I am always sceptical about reader's comments when they say how you should have had the characters do this or that, or speak differently or make suggestions as to how the plot should go. You are the author. When I want to read someone else's writing I will read theirs. When I want to determine how the plot goes I will write my own.
At this point I can only say I always enjoy your stories. You are a clever, imaginative, knowledgeable writer who always keeps me entertained.
Keep up the delightful work.

best story ever

This story is fit to be made into a movie.....you are most certainly talented...more power to you elbow

love,.

does not always conquer all in real life, so it is very pleasant to read such a magnificent tale that bears such eloquent witness to it's power

Best writer on this site.

Freaking awesome!

Expansion

My only suggestion would be a rather large expansion. I would like very much to see a novel or series of novels. The story line is very strong, the details consistent and the dialogue excellent. Time for you to make this an expanded story of lives and the rise and fall of a kingdom. Get started and I hope the see the series on store shelves soon.

Must agree wth fefe428 1/18/15 comments

Vertically my thoughts exactly, you could even go further and say this is not the end to this fantastic story but the beginning. Brilliantly written, well done

Stunning story

Finally, I have found what I´m looking for..., and I want to change the song (with the permission of U2) to Nights in white satin (if Moody Blues is not opposite).
Great story, where the love is most powerful than the swords.
Some day, the woman's get the politic power and the men's are only a representative figure (I´m a man).
I hope to see that.
Lovely story, complicated relationship between the King Cayden, Queen Angelica, Lady Alia and Lady Mylle. Normally, foursome never works, but in this story, are two couples working together.
King Uri was surprising me, he only need to found his love to be a great King, and the both parents of the kings are compressive with the Cayden relationship (very improbable in the Medium Age where this story is placed, but this is an romance tale).
Is for that your my favorite author.
Remember my others comments, you have a future as movies screenwriter!
5* for you.
Good Job!
I apologize for my English, is not my native language.

A very good story

It's a very good story I think that you should continue on

Fabulous

At first I thought, a medieval tale, I don't think so, but I continued reading and didn't stop. Another well-crafted story that was a joy to read. Great writing ! Well done!

Excellent, well-written series...

This was a fascinating story. Superb character development - I think the reason so many comments called for a sequel was because we all liked the characters. Well done author and editor.

Master of the Craft.

Exceptional work that transcends the the bounds of this site. This author joins only several gifted others that could have written the complex and absorbing characters in this great story. Your readers beg for more.

MORE!!!

Awesome story!! I guess I am not the only one who wants the story to continue. I'd like to see progression in The King and Alia having a child (and maybe even Mylle so she doesn't feel left out?) and also see the growth of Hamund and Meredith. Please continue the story!!!! Thanks

Thank you.......

Thank yoy for another great story.

Amazing

You, sir, are a true storyteller. You have been the cause of many sleeples nights as I can't always put the story down.
Please continue gifting us with your prose.

DoW