Two suggestions.
1. If using an abbreviation, write it out fully the first time and bracket the abbreviation next to it. ie. Do Not Resusitate (DNR) .... It is a somewhat annoying when one has to Google something to find its meaning. Don't know about America, but it is not a common abbreviation in Australia.
2. When using an usual title, you should at least somewhere in the first chapter give some hint as to why that title was chosen. At this point all we have is a fair to average run of the mill incest story and the reader wavering as to whether to bother with Ch. 2.
Hope the above help.
Liked it, but wonder how come losing at strip poker provoked Darian to reveal her lovely, but hitherto hidden self for her brother and parents. Does she now suddenly plan to fuck them all? 'Hardly makes sense. An editor might have suggested a bit more detail. Maybe we'll learn more in Ch2.
English
DNR Suggestions
Two suggestions.
1. If using an abbreviation, write it out fully the first time and bracket the abbreviation next to it. ie. Do Not Resusitate (DNR) .... It is a somewhat annoying when one has to Google something to find its meaning. Don't know about America, but it is not a common abbreviation in Australia.
2. When using an usual title, you should at least somewhere in the first chapter give some hint as to why that title was chosen. At this point all we have is a fair to average run of the mill incest story and the reader wavering as to whether to bother with Ch. 2.
Hope the above help.
Huh?
Liked it, but wonder how come losing at strip poker provoked Darian to reveal her lovely, but hitherto hidden self for her brother and parents. Does she now suddenly plan to fuck them all? 'Hardly makes sense. An editor might have suggested a bit more detail. Maybe we'll learn more in Ch2.
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