All Comments on 'Ebb Tide Ch. 03'

and let the chips and God sort out the winners. TK U MLJ LV NV

I really like Dabney, not being as smart as the others should not be considered a bad trait if one doesn't act with malice

Thanks for sharing.

I can see the steady progress you said you wanted out of a planned story. I think you're bringing many plot elements and perspectives together without exhausting the characters: great!

Is it wrong to aspire to be what V is?

Love the story so far, very well written with a just over the edge into fantasy to make things interesting. I do want to nit pic about Jo and her bringing the children out to eat given her profession. The children also seem to be just too blase about all those bodies piling up in the restaurant, but I did mention fantasy didn't I.

The other nit is the choice of pistols for Jo. Shooting two .50 cal handguns at the same time with accuracy would be challenging for anyone let alone a rather small woman. Practice and technique can only overcome so much and body mass and muscle is one of those factors. Yes, I know a number of women who can shoot well, but .40 cal would have been a better fit I think.

Anything less then 5 stars would be an insult. Like the characters and the way things seem to be changing for Vance from zero Lovers to 2 possibly 3 or four maybe more.

Will be interesting to see the Reaction of Lloyd Pharris once he realizes his money is Gone.

Well done again. I am enjoying this story very much. Thank you for all the work you are putting into this.

No one ever thought to ask who was 007's medic. :)

This story has been a great way to spend the day. I lost track of it when. It changed categories. But now that it is over I am instantly hungry for more. Ingradatude after such a good meal but something good to read is a precious commodity I am always scarce on.

I had a fear this new story of yours would end up being dark and depressing. I thought the same thing about One In Ten and waited a long time before starting that one too. Wrong on both accounts. They are clearly premises that could go down that path but you don't intentionally serve up a glut of unhappiness like some writers seem to enjoy doing. The indomitably of your protagonists is I think the key. We as spectators are not placed in the perspective of someone meekly accepting a monstrous fate or walking blindly into the machinations of some two dimensional monster.

That reminds me of another thing about your writing that you do right and others anoy me with. If you have some bad guy character and you paint them as a complete and utter psychotic asshole narcissus, raping and killing for fun and profit, you then don't turn around and try to make us sympathetic to them, or have the protagonist forgive them when they have been insanely and epicly provoked. If you do want us sympathetic you make the baddy multidimensional, with motivations, and character development, and good stuff like that, maybe even motivations that are morally ambiguous or beyond their control. And even then the protagonists does not instantly forgive them, ignore all past crimes and let's bygons be bygone. Justice and injustice. People with more principles than scruples. Good stuff. Rose tinted realism.

Very good. Can't wait till it's finished.

Regards

D

I suspect you may be a professional author. If you're not, you should be. This story deserves to be published to a wider audience. I beg you to submit the completed story to a publisher, so we can buy it at Amazon or Barnes and Noble.

Obviously, I liked it a lot.

I see in the disclaimer in chapter one that this is a 7 chapter storyline. Now I see it listed as a 3 part series. I wonder if I should stop looking for the rest. Thanks.

Chapter 4 will be submitted soon. I have decided that since 4 is so big I am going to release it as Chapters 4A and 4B ... so I'm sorta keeping to the seven chapter format ...sorta/kinda.

Your writing is fantastic, your story lines are great and I look forward to reading more. You need to get published. I will buy up more of your work happily. I have already purchased all 6 of your LNH releases on Smashwords.com. Keep up the great work.

I broke up Ebb Tide into two sub-chapters. Since I was already at 21,000 words and I hadn't even gotten to the second encounters. 4A has been sent to the editors tonight. I hope 4B will be out before too long. After all, I've now finished two chapters in separate storylines in just two days. Things are looking up!

Another fan looking forward to reading on!!!!!

I'm just saying, after it all ends, the vice lords have been knocked off their peg's with a few being knocked out of the game altogether for being overly ambitious/killing off the original Xaltotun... V is the next successor?

lets see, highly smart, well connected outside their influences so they cant control him, he can hit at their influences, as we've already seen, and was hired 2 months ago, the same time he left the CIA and Xaltotun "expired".

circles within circles within circles, it's rather like Mr Stand to achieve something of that deviancy hehe

JC

p.s. food for thought Mr Stand?

Hehehehe ...

I've already put out there how Homeland Security takes a terribly dim view of CIA (and military) personnel 'sanctioning' anybody on US soil. Vance understands that and REALLY, REALLY wanted to retire from that lifestyle to take up the 'sedate' lifestyle of a paramedic. Why does no one believe that? ;)

Ebb Tide is more a story about how powerful people deal with minor annoyances. Circe, when she runs across Vance, decides to listen to her professional advice and let him be. Baphomet, against professional advice, decides to squash Vance ... and that is the core of the story. Had he just let go of Georgiana ... but he refuses to for no better reason than sadistic revenge.

While Vance might make a 'decent' Xaltotun, I have another candidate in mind. This person is better because they are 'known' to all the major players plus they are known to all of Xaltotun's lieutenants as well. Vance plans to help this person rise to become the next Xaltotun while he becomes that person's chief lieutenant. Moreover, by the end of 4B, he has three Vice Lords who would look favorably upon this 'suggestion' as they either respect his judgment, or owe him 'Big Time'. A fourth Vice Lord could be brought around as this candidate solves some key problems the Vice Lords are facing. One is going to HATE it and one Vance has to kill anyway so ...

Vance's biggest issue is he has never wanted to be a leader. He is good at doing his job and likes being part of a team with a designated mission, but leading people is something he has avoided all of his life. Look back on his life ~ everything he has done, he has done as a highly competent subordinate - part of a team. When forced to act independently, he screws up (usually emotionally).

I hope this helps,

James aka FinalStand

You are one of the best writers I've read on this site & I've read a bunch. Excellent story-telling; well plotted, with plenty of tongue in cheek humor. Love it!!