She Fooled Me

Haven't seen anything from you in a while.

This one seemed rushed.

I've missed your writing

But this seemed more like an outline than your usual stories. It was kind of flat in the character development...look forward to your next offering
Wolf_Man_1962

Good Story

Much better than the tripe being posted to this site of late.
What was your hurry? The story seemed rushed and lacked your usual personal touch.
Read more like a narrative/outline or a rough first copy.

Thank You

I enjoyed It.

Gave this 4* simply because its finally a story that's not written by one of the breeding baboons on here and because it seemed rushed.

Not your usual standard...

...this one does seem rushed indeed. I, too, think this one is pretty flat in character developement. I rated this one 3*; usually you tend to be between 4 - 5 *.

agree with ego

Not your usual and little RUSH. Thanks for the read

Good

Good story; if only for the sane reaction to discovery of a lying, cheating, slut of a wife.

Rush Job

To go along with the other commenters, I felt like this story was rushed. However, my biggest problem was the conversation at the bar. One of the first questions they asked Angie was if she had sex outside the marriage. She said no, and that she flirted with guys but that her and Brent usually went out together. And then the next question was about having an abortion - in which she admitted to having sex with Jim. No one called her out on lying to the first question. I just feel like this story could have been developed just a little bit more.

To Aspizri

The wife lied to her husband throughout their marriage. So it could be understood that she would lie to her friends then take it back.

Leonji

Four Stars

Was like my dick - a liitle too short.

Thanks

Definitely rushed

Sadly, another story of yours with a hurried ending. The build up was good, and the exposure of her infidelity was classic DG.

It seemed like once that happened the wheels fell off, and it was a slam bam thank you ma'am

Disappointing 3. Could have, NO should have been much much better.

DG Hear

I didn't really think I rush it. I didn't have anything else to say. Possibly in the future there is always a chance of seeing what further direction their lives went, but no promises. I just write what comes into this old head of mine. Thank you all for taking the time to read and comment. Always appreciated.
DG

READ THE STORY!

Why comment when you haven't read the story? Angie didn't say she hadn't cheated, her friends all knew that she'd screwed Jim!
Rush job dg... boilerplate.. but you know that; you're too good an author not to know mediocre when you see it. 3+....

When they met

They had sex the very night that they met? Why should he trust her?

DG

If it wasn't rushed, can you explain why Barb's husband wasn't sent a disk? She got off Scott free

Best Thing

about this story is that it is from you. It's been too long since your last posting.

I have to agree that this isn't up to your normal standards. It does read like an outline instead of a complete story. You are a good author and this story is not a good representation of your talent.

Thanks for the posting and please keep writing.

Woodmanone

Are you mad (insane, not angry)? There is little wonder that the British Empire collapsed. An ethically bankrupt people.

Why are British men such wimps like this guy???

It's a little dry.

Story

Great story. Shows how it's a good idea to rush into marriage without full knowledge

The only person dumber than the main guy in your story is me, for reading it.

Actually, I got only one third down the first page when I realized I had all the information I needed to comment. No pregnancy test, unknown background, the girl friend has no self-respect or self-discipline, smart loving parents kept out of the loop until after the marriage ceremony . . ., this guy deserves whatever happens to him in this story. If its bad, he deserves it. If its good, he should have stayed in Las Vegas and broke the bank, because he has incredible luck. The details of your yarn are just the filler describing how his luck played out. And as said, he's too dumb to care about. But thanks for the effort.

Not one of

HGH's better stories. Way too many little mistakes. This "complaint" is directed at many LW authors - Why do virtually all office-working LW husbands have a secretary? Here we have an Electrical Engineer who is barely out of college. Why would he have a secretary? And, a second "complaint," why is The Board always on-site? Hadn't it appointed a CEO, President, whatever to handle the day-to-day activities? The Board certainly did not need to interview an entry-level EE.

only 20% down the first page

And I'll bet I can quote line by line the ending. So far, at the time of their return from Vegas we have a suave but geeky intellectual type while despite the intellect can only seem to think with his small head. AND has an ego the size of Mt. Rushmore as to why this young woman might be with him. Seem like the standard recipe for marital disaster? Lets find out. So far DG you only have a single *. I hate standard fares and predictability.

Well

I know some people prefer every story to be brief, but this is a great example of why it's important to match the scope of your tale to the amount of distance you're willing to cover.

If you try to pack a couple's dating history, the initial uncertainty and building foreboding of discovering an affair, the first gut response and later, larger revenge, the cheater's simpering, and the future happiness of our hero all into less than 10,000 words, then it reads as this story does....as an outline, only put together to organize the writer's plans.

The whore got off easy

I know of a very similar instance where the wife aborted a baby because she wasn't sure if her husband or her boss was the father. When the husband found out he went to a crisis pregnancy center and got some brochures with pictures of aborted babies. He went home and taped them to the mirror in her bathroom.
When she walked in and saw them she screamed and fainted. When she came to her husband said "You killed my baby." She got hysterical trying to deny it but he too had proof...paperwork from the abortion clinic.
She was still pleading with him to forgive her as he packed his bags. He finally said, "'I'll forgive you when our baby is alive again" as he walked out the door.
That night she swallowed everything in the medicine cabinet. Two days later the movers found her dead in the bathroom clutching a picture of an aborted baby in each hand. Now that's justice.

Also

I should also second the feeling that DG is, historically, one of the best writers on this site. That's probably more true now that the average story quality has degraded so badly.

When will people learn?

1. Move money slowly in small amounts to hidden cash locations.
2. Cover tracks, wait 6 months. (3 months minimum)
2a. Get new evidence during the latter part of this time.
3. File for divorce
4. Settle assets, income, whatever
5. Let divorce finalize
6. NOW GET the revenge
Remember she loses her job or is damaged by your actions YOU could be no the hook for more money. If there is a on going financial relationship she could come bake for more later!

Mostly Logical, but

Why would Brent be so quick to have a romp with his wife after he knew she had been cheating, probably with several others? Would the possibility of STD not even factor in, such as, maybe to wear a ribbed condom and tell her that he was wearing it to give her some new thrills? Also, he pulled out the pill bottle and abortion record after he supposedly just received the disk. Wifey should have realized he already knew. .

3 STARS:

I agree with what TheUnoriginalist said. DG you're one of the best LW writers here, but this story does not reflect it. Sorry. Looking forward to your next story.

Good story,,,3*

This is a good story, short to the point...But the wife got out of it too easily...With the abortion proof no judge would give her a damn dollar...She was a cheater and a killer...

Okay, read it, not all that impressed, but DG is a good author.

I agree with the majority. Not up to the author's usual caliber. I gave DG 4*s although my usual scoring is
1* = lousy to I cannot believe I read this crap
3*s = ehhh! cannot say it does much for me but was well written and with thought.
5*s = Good, great, outstanding story.
my ranking system does not place a lot of weight on punctuation, grammar, flow, or other writing mechanics. Ebonics (or poor English grammar or spelling) from ESL writers is fine as long as I can understand the story line. Basically I believe the rating system to be about the authors meaning, NOT how perfectly they can formulate a sentence or paragraph. I leave that chore to the idiots at Berkeley English Lit, Cambridge upper-crust types, and or Ivy League wannabes.And I digress as usual....

I gave DG 4*s instead of my regular 3*s because he IS a good writer and I figure this piece to have been a statistical aberration. Besides... I like engineers for some reason. Although, most of the ones I know are not like the stereotypes usually found here.

Okay story but a couple of questions?

I thought he started his own firm after college rather than go to work with his Dad? Why would he leave his own Company? And wouldn't Angie be entitled to a LOT more money? She would have gotten a lawyer and even an idiot realizes with Brent was responsible for the recordings. So all he has to use in Court is the pill bottle and the abortion records. Not enough to get him away from Angie scott free as regards the money he and his family have. And why, since he clearly dislikes Sheila, would ha have anything to do with her? He's still married. She's best friends with Angie. You don't think she would testify in open Court the HE was also and adulterer? While I liked the overall story there were a couple of glitches that detracted from it.

@Aspiri

Barb asserted that all four of the April Fools had sex with Jim. That was a given. Mary successful claimed she had NOT. Sweetie, soon after, confirmed Barb's inclusion by citing that Jim was her possible inseminator.

Concur with most comments to date. NOT DGs brightest hour.

Nonetheless 4*

Deus Ex Machina

Transmitter and receiver ... just ain't happening. Since the storyline is totally dependant on this fantasy technology, then the story fails. Not one of your best offerings but well written as always.

Leaving the company

He left because he felt that everyone there would know about how his marriage ended and he couldn't live with that. And he didn't say he started his own company, just that he wanted to make it on his own without his dad helping him get a job right out of school.

Great to see DG back at it again

He should have put back in the oven and baked it again. The fact that she had contact with Jim back before they married came as a bit of a surprise. It makes the reason for hiring her suspect.

Great story!

This is the kind I like. Cheating wife who tries to do it behind the hubby's back but gets caught and gets her ass kicked to the curb.. I DON'T like the "hotwife" "husband watches" "makes husband a wimp" stories. I found I already had your submission page bookmarked and looks like this is your thing. I'll be reading more.
5 *'s

Well written overall good

Well written, good characters, good plot. I would have enjoyed a little more of a happy ending for Brent and something more against Angie but that is just me.
No I am not a BTB fan but just thought a little more story would have made a stronger ending. If she married Brent for his future earning why did she cheat.
Overall good, no real compliant from my reading.
Please keep writing and I will keep reading

Dghear , a good cheating wife story. One question!

What happened that no one took a pregnancy test. He would have known she wasn't pregnant,so why rush into a marriage. Also it's very rare these days for a firm to fire you for what happens outside working hours. But he did good sending out those tapes to the wives of those cheaters. But those cheaters still are free to strike again. I Quess you need loose morals to fall for THOSE LOSERS.

Same old, same old

Same plot, same characters (with different names) same result
For some reason I thought that the author would, just this once, write a different story. Nope

It's A Read***

Borderline boring. Thanks for sharing.

re: Okay story but a couple of questions?

I was wondering about him fucking Sheila, too.

In addition, I was wondering about the report from the abortion clinic. The way he arranged everything, he and everyone else just got the discs with the recordings, including the information that she had the abortion. Yet, when she gets home he has the report from the clinic. I don't know about you, but it would seem especially convenient that he just happens to get the disc and he just happens to have the report regarding an abortion he just happened to find out about.

A little conversation between Sheila and Angie, and he who set up of someone anonymously sent the discs falls apart. A quick trip to the clinic would reveal he had the report before the discs arrived. (Also, I’ve seen reports – medical and otherwise – where the print date is stamped on the report, not just the date that was reported. If this is one of those cases, he set up is screwed. Of course, this being fiction, that part is easily dismissed.)

Cheap plot device.

I wonder what percent of all cheating wives got caught by the husband's inventive genius in the field of electronic surveillance. At least hubby is not a CIA boss who is an Seal vet with an army of loyal ex-subordinates who just happen to be working as divorce lawyers and private investigators. Come on, write something that an average Joe can relate.

Fair

I agree with those who say it seemed rushed.

START OFF WITH LIES

end up with lies, whats new. TK U MLJ LV NV

Quick, enjoyable read!

That is more like the old DG, nicely done. At some points felt a bit like a recitation of facts, as we didnt really get to know Angie enough to care, nor due to the short time of their courtship and marriage. But overall a 4.

That's the thing about marrying sluts, you get what you paid for. I have sat each of my kids down and explained you want a high character spouse, one that has demonstrated they are willing to delay gratification for some important goal. That means someone with responsible habits, gets up early, has a job, saves money etc. Too many of the younger folk seem to live for today like Mary pointed out in your story.

Good One

A quick read, short and to the point, with the correct ending. My kind of story, ***** stars!

Short and to the point

Thanks...welcome back!

I've got to quit reading these types of stories.

Not the cheating wife genre in general, but stories like this one, told in a sequential a...b...c... fashion with every little inconsequential detail mentioned, like a barroom story told by a bore. The narrator is always a very reasonable man with a proclivity for sneaky behavior, who rarely loses his temper. Sigh. There is frequently a quirky plot device such as a close friend who works in espionage or suchlike. Double sigh. Finally, the narrator dumps his cheating wife with his head held high, often picking up an even better wife in the bargain. Triple sigh. DG, time to up your game. Lose the narrator, put the reader in the action, and write some believable dialogue.

Extremely boring!

This story only was bla bla bla. Someting for the trash can!