Luke

This makes no sense, at the start you state they're close, yet there is no indication of that in this whole chapter, they hardly spend time together, they don't act like close friends do, he didn't seem all that comfortable in her company even before the 'kiss'. Hell they've supposed to have been instantly close friends for a year, yet he didn't k ow where the bathroom was?

You also need to work on editing, lots of errors, most glaring was truely, its actually spelt truly, no e.

1 star

recommend a healthy dose of rat pill to ease ur pain.

Wow rough room for recieveing comments..

Found it interesting to read looking to see what the next chapter brings to the picture...Take your time writing the next part till your happy with it.... I highly recommend No to the rat pill..... what a fucking terrible thing to write down.....

I tried to seduce a gay man once because I liked him so much. But I was young and now I see that as disrespectful. If you really care about someone, you don't want to change them, even for your own benefit. This story is kind of sad and I think it may be in the wrong category, but since it is to be continued, I'm can't be sure. Maybe it turns around? But she'll never be able to trust him not to be true to his nature.

But you know what really bothers me about this story? Going from natural redhead to black hair. Boo!!!