High School GF in the Library

This was so good reminded me of my first time and made me squirt more than I've ever done before!

Boilerplate

The characters were cardboard cutouts. You use text-speak way too much.

Your choice of words leaves a lot to be desired. Her 'heaving stomach'? What, was she puking?

You really need an editor.

You don't have to mention that you are using aliases to protect identities. No one cares if the story is true or not. Just write their fictional names. Just tell the story. You don't have to write "The End," either. Just bring it to a close.

I fell off of my chair when reading the line, "I had been told her clit was towards the top of her pussy." That was hilarious. Was it supposed to be funny? And who told the narrator where it was? Oh, and "It looked like a tiny tree stump"? Had he said that to her out loud, she should have given him a swift kick in the balls.

The naiveté of the characters is a good reminder why we need better sex ed programs in the schools. That being said, this story is cute in a lot of ways. Good job.

Good story

Good story. Keep um coming.

first time

great read- brought back some memories

OMG

That was amazing! Just switch the body weights and that could be happening to me tomorrow. (Thanks for the pointers.)

Not bad. A couple typos (i.e. sole instead of soul), and strange references to your dick using personal pronouns ("he"). We already know it is a male body part.....no need to personalize it. Overall, nice attention to detail and good descriptions.

Tender Love

A great, tender first time story. It's great to see an erotic story where the guy treats her with reverence and doesn't end up "ramming it into her."