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English
The end??
End of what?
Fantastic Story...
PLEASE... continue this story.. an further.. Luke & Wes relationship for us.. your readers.. its a great story... I love the happy.. end of summer holiday & the start of college 2gether. .... plz..Plz..PLZ... continue. ...
Luke
Luke should let his chest hair grow out -- it would make him a really sexy guy for Wes.
my question
Hi my name is fetch and i would like to speak to writer of this story
bollox
this could have been a series .. like all the other writers you could have gone 70 or 80 episodes out of this story . however just like all the others. boy meets boy boy fucks boy the end.? same old crap only you wrote it .its almost the same as all the other stories .....
Interesting story
Most families would not be as accepting right away. It is nice when things work out well for both.
Your story was not crap
Technically, The Beach House was cleanly written. However I felt like I was reading an outline with dialogue. Emotion is important. Outside of Luke being shy with Wes on their first beach walk I didn't believe or feel anything they said. The crayon box has lots of colors other than black and white. Give the story and characters some shading. Luke and Wes had no obstacles to overcome. Everything was just too perfect. Please continue to write. You have core talents. A bare Christmas tree is beautiful, A decorated tree with ornaments and lights is something you linger at and remember. Please continue to write.
Good Bones...... needs more meat.
I think it's a good story but too rushed. I wanted more dialogue. Maybe you can improve upon it with a rewrite.
Could've been really great If...
The story had a pretty good start, and the entire story had a nice structure and plot, but it was so rushed that it ruined the story. This could've been really long and have loads of parts. Instead they said they love each other instantly, have sex then it proceeds to a fairly lousy ending.
Hey Guys
Thanks for everyone's feedback. I'm still very new at writing, this is only my second story ever. I completely understand everyone's opinions and I will take all of them on board when I write my next story :)
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