All Comments on 'Dream Drive Ch. 09'

Out-fucking-Standing.

I've been a fan of your writing since the first chapter of Dream Drive. I'm on your mailing list for Contractor, part 2 by the way I'm still waiting for, and also bought the book.

This chapter, and it's reveals and drama, shit it's ending as well. It is exactly what I first said, out-motherfucking-standing. It's 4 am here and I woke up in the middle of the night to take a piss. That was 1 hour ago and I'm only awake because I saw this was up and HAD to read it.

You're already one of my favorite writers and everything I read reinforces that belief.

Thank you so much for writing.

I love this story, I can't wait a month for the next chapter I might die, loved the dragonball reference please don't leave this story like so many others have done.

He just needs to write that Contractor sequel. :P

So we're still getting a Ch. 10, but then we're going to take a break from Jackson's crapsack multiverse…

…so that we can see what's going on in Greg's crapsack multiverse.

I really wish I could just put down "I can't rate this any higher than 5, but I'm still trying."

Always on the lookout for your latest stories, They make my day when they come out ^.^

I love that this just shines a light on religion. in the bible god is a giant dick creates rules he knows we will break. If you think about it satan is a humanist. .... mythology is fun.

solid

So is that one quest for Hale and one quest for Tell'ad, or one quest for both? The second one would be unfortunate. I want Tell'ad to end up Bonded to Rachel, so Jackson can't kill him.

Can't wait to see them interact with each other.

WOW. THIS CHAP. WAS BY FAR 1 OF, IF NOT THE BEST CHAPTER. CAN'T WAIT FOR JACKSON TO COMPLETE LUCIFERS QUEST AND COLLECT ALL THT ESSENCE! Can't wait for chapter 10!!!!!

Love it. Looking forward to more.

To avoid spoilers or name drops all I can say is when you think how can this possibly be topped. He goes and does it again. yes my typing is bad but I use voice program as I broke all bones in my hands a few years ago. this story has made me want to high five and at times shake my fist but each time it proceeds to exceed all my expectations. If I read only one amazing story this month then without doubt this was the one for the most enjoyment.

awesome

This story transcends so many genres -scifi, romance,, pseudo-historical, mystery, and now religion? Legit.

Love it. Looking forward to some more Charles!!!! Can you imagine how epic a conversation between Charles and lucifer would be?

That speech good ol' Luci gave us was amazing! I am very much looking forward to reading Chapter 10.

Fucking amazing. Amazing! I gotta say, I like lucifer a hell of a lot more than god, and love/human connection a hell of a lot more than either one of them :-)

You are, without a doubt, one of the very best writers that I have ever come across. I check very often for submissions, and the glee I get from reading your writing is second to none. I look forward to reading anything that you put out into the world.

This series is without doubt some of the best literary work I've ever come across. I feel my adrenaline rush in every fighting scene that you describe, see the sights and smell the smells. You put the majority of other writers on this sight to shame. I'm eagerly awaiting the next installment!

All that reading and you pull this stunt. Crap. Now I got to wait for you to bring out more just when the major player is getting his ducks in a row. Well now I sit here till you do tridling my thumbs and stairing at a wall. Thanks. But do keep up the good work and please don't be too long on a new set.

Amazing stuff. Got to say that you have somehow managed tje impossible task of outdoing your earlier chapters. By far my favorite author

So after that...revealing...exchange with Jackson, I've come to to understand...

(•_•) That ol' Lucifer...

( •_•)>⌐■-■ is having a bit of trouble...

(⌐■_■) Dealing with his own demons.

Love the parting line and story of course

Please don't end chapter 10 on a cliffhanger!

Also, how long do you think your break from this series will last?

What an fabulous entry into the. Series. Love all twists and reveals up till now can't wait until we get the next chapter .

This is now on the all-time site-wide top rated list (well deserved imo).

The funny part is that there's not even a naked nipple in the whole chapter...

(Not meant as a criticism in any way, I just thought it an interesting observation)

When I first saw the first Chapter I ignored it on the grounds that many stories don't go very far. However, once it got past Chapter 5 I started reading and was immediately hooked. I can see this drawing out to 50 or 60 chapters easily. Like many others it is a shame to see such a great story in hiatus while other stories take precedence. I think the penmanship is outstanding, and the depth and breadth of the story easily rivals Game of Thrones, or Wheel of Time series. Hence I doff my hat to a fabulous writer, who deserves some real accolade. Well done, can't wait for Chapter 10, and others.

And I'm gonna weep for every day that'll keep us apart from the next arc of the Dream drive story.

Really wonderful, kudos! (Or however it's written)

I have to say that so far this is one of the most amazing stories that I have ever read. It's amazing how well I can see myself in this story, being a gamer. I check the site almost every day hoping for a new chapter. I can't wait to see what comes next.

Great story and holy moly the suspense is huge!!!

Can't wait for the next chapter xx

Does anyone know similar stories, on this site, besides path of the necromancer and endanger?

Truly an awesome story.

And I already hate fucking April because it doesn´t pass faster.

To anon-great chapter, have you already read 'the missing dragon'?

Dude, I can only revert to my childhood phrases and offer "wicked good!" as my expression of this piece. Loved it. Keep it up. I hope you have at least three more chapters ready to go tomorrow (I know you don't). I am waiting for the next with baited breath.

Your theology corresponds exactly with the Bible's view of Lucifer--a liar who hates God and can only attack human weakness. He keeps playing into God's hands because he does not have all the answers, and yet would still rebel if he did.

You have done your homework, and it shows. (Holding his breath until the next chapter appears.)

I mentioned in the last chapter that I thought your story had some plot pacing issues. This chapter really works much better in that regard. The two central stories that go through this chapter of Jackson and of the tribe work much better in tandem with each other. Instead of thinking “Dammit, get back to what I was reading about before!” when you switch focus, I’m consistently interested in what’s going on in both storylines.

I think this is partly because you’ve laid so much groundwork to invest me in the fate of the tribe that I don’t feel as alienated from the story when the switch happens. Conversely, in your earlier chapters with Charles it felt like a much more jarring shift in tone that it was much more difficult for me to “re-invest” myself in the different story direction.

Please note here that I’m not saying anything about those earlier chapters is bad. The entire story so far has been pretty damn great, overall. Plot pacing is a way advanced thing to get right for any writer, and in this chapter you do it exceptionally well. It’s also an aspect of stories that writers tend to be blind to. Obviously all of the elements of the story are interesting to you because you’re writing it and you know where it’s going! So I dunno if you’ve had some awesome beta-readers to help you out, or if you’ve doubled down on it, or if you’re just randomly improving. It just really shows in this chapter that you know how to maintain interest and keep things consistent as you juggle multiple storylines.

Well done!

I also really enjoyed the conflicts here, and again the groundwork you’ve laid out in creating some really rich characters pays dividends in the outcomes of these clashes. Boonta Vs. Chaki was great, and I particularly liked the hothead warrior making the sacrifice after being stabbed in the back. I never really liked that guy, but I respected him and I felt for him in the end. You do a fantastic job in creating characters that feel real in this way. I don’t always cheer for them, but I am always wondering what will happen to them next.

Overall it’s a great build-up to what I’m sure will be a brilliant end to the first part of the series. Looking forward to the next chapter!

You've set your self up for something serious in the future. There has to be a conversation between Charles and the devil, and I cringe at the amount of thought that will go into constructing it. Here's to inspiration and fighting off writer's bloc.

Great story and can't wait for more

Keep them coming greatest story EVER

keep it comin

HIGH PRIEST HAS ONCE AGAIN BLESSED US WITH THE SCRIPTURES. I gratefully receive your legend.

I shall sacrifice a 6pack in your honor oh holy one.

Now the DEVIL is quite something - I hope your plot doesn't get TOO big :-)

Very very good so far, waiting for more!

Wow!! I just keep coming back to this series. More enthusiastically for the next chapter. Admitted, people come to literotica majorly for some fappening but this has the potential to be a very good series. Have you thought about taking it to the next level!! about a well thought out novel?? How about a sex free version for the broader audiences??

Love the story! Just stumbled on this a few days ago and could not stop reading.

Like Lien Geller said; the way you write it keeps improving and the tension is on the whole time...I just can't put it away until the story is finished. But now I have to wait until chapter 10 and then?

Please keep writing, this is an awesome SF story and would love to read more of your stories.

Thanks!

Just read the whole story. I can't wait for the rest. I couldn't put it down

So, when reading the first couple of comments, both here and farther back, there is a lot of "Please keep writing" and "Maybe take this to a publisher?" stuff.

Now, if you actually visited his profile, or rather if you would just take a step back, you would realize that he ALREADY have a publisher, for "his other major project", just to use his word.

His other major project is his series of "Contractors" books. He have already published the first, and are planning to have the second released August or September i believe. So if you want more, you can go ahead and by that book, which i can verify is an exceptional read too, albeit more child-friendly. OR, if you are looking for some other Sci-Fi or Fantasy which is also story-driven but has sexual elements, there are a whole lot of them, including Going Feet First, Both of IF's Series (although he has stopped writing), Final Stands Series which are also very thoroughly reasearched, just to name a few series and authors.

Happy reading

Your Lucifer needs work. From what I've seen, it looks like you've read the wikipedia article and the sparknotes on something more serious. This isn't going to be fun, but if you want to put words in the mouth of that which is the shadows, the Prince of Lies, you owe it to yourself to do it right.

Paradise Lost

The Book of Job (KJV)

Faust (or Doctor Faustus)

Dante's Inferno

You might have read one, you might have read two. Please, for the sake and quality of your writing, on one of the most important literary figures that has ever been, read or reread the above titles. You can write a better Satan, and your audience deserves a better Satan. As I read this, I knew it was fine for literotica, but it wouldn't survive anything more. You need to rewrite him. Other than that, LOVE the depth of the fantasy. I know Charles gets lower rated, but I love him, Mivra and his organization. SERIOUSLY looking forward to more from his end. Team Charles 2015. Don't forget to implement crafting.

NOOOOOOO..... I reached the end of the chapters!, I just noticed I've been reading them for the last 4 hours!

This is FANTASTIC. so don't keep us waiting!

umm, is it normal for it to be this late?

because he said to expect it in late april but that was a week ago.

It's way past late April. Did something happen?

I'm not sure why this is even on literotica. This is quality writing with a completely original plot. I read this whole thing in a day. I'd stop fucking with a porn sight, finish this, and submit it to a publicist bruh. Or at least post it elsewhere like where Worm and other web serials go. I appreciate the writing and I'm captivated by the story. This story warrants more attention than its gotten and I know people would buy it as a book. Game of thrones gets away with sex scenes and is a massive commercial success, why can't this be too?

Where are you man ????????

No update what so ever ????

it has been 15 days

I prefer not to comment in this section (it's for your opinions, not mine), so just click on my name to get to my profile for future updates, or if you'd like to contact me directly. I noticed a few worries so I figured some people might not realize to click that far, and decided to make a post.

I've been busy lately. I'm in school full time, and I work on the weekends. I live with and take care of my grandmother, and her house. The rest is absorbed by my love life. In short, I haven't had a chance to write much!

Chapter 10 of Dream Drive is my number 1 writing priority as soon as I have the opportunity (even ahead of the sequel to my published novel).

Thanks for reading and commenting on my stories. It's always energizing and motivating when I read them. I'm especially appreciative of everyone that takes the time to write out specific criticisms. It's hard to see the forest for the trees as an author, so that feedback is vital for me to improve.

TL;DR: Not dead, don't worry, still working on Dream Drive! :D

you could sell this stuff! I hope I'm not shooting myself in the foot vis a vis the next chapter, but I thought you should know.

I've been a lurker and a reader on this site for many years, and never have I left a message until now. I wish to thank you for your gift to us, and I hope that you continue to keep us entertained with your glorious writings.

You and Etaski should get together and have a love child.

This is, without question, one of the best stories I've ever read on Lit...and it doesn't even have much sex.

Looking forward to the sequels.

This book has me hooked! Spent the last couple days reading the whole thing here so far. Completely worth it. Thought provoking with a great story and characters - can't wait for the next chapter.

The plane where all the action takes place including the plains, Chaka etc. is apparently just above "Hell" , yet appears to be mostly inhabited by humans living in an era somewhere between 1200 and 400 years before Jackson's Earth with the addition of magic and some other sentiment creatures. Yet it seems no more evil than Earth despite its proximity to Hell. If demons were working their way up, wouldn't they take over this plane first??

How can Charle's leg survive whereas Jackson's modern equipment turned to muck?

Where is the last chapter????? <pretty please> :)

First, the reason the whole place isn't taken over is because the demons were there a very, very, very, long time ago. It was said that they took all the "blessed humans with them to the next level." Think ancient Egypt but the Egyptians left and took all the slaves with them.

Second, when Charlie got back he said something about his leg being stiffer than usual so I'm guessing he will go to the lab area and they will find the black gunk or something.

speaking of the other levels, do you think some might have more advanced technology.

Love it. Keep up the amazing work. 5 Stars doesn't do this justice. Jumping aboard the chapter 10 hype train!

Can someone PLEASE invent some sort of time dilation room so the man has some time to write his chapter. I mean it's been TWO MONTHS!

and while you're at at it make one for George R.R. Martin...

Im just sitting here hoping that his internet got struck by lightning and he just has the next 5 chapters all typed out waiting to upload :l

He's in an accelerated pharma program, and he's also writing another -- to-be-published -- book as well.

"Hectic" isn't strong enough to describe how busy he is >_>

Rest assured, though, he's not going to disappear into the digital mists.

Good story! Except one thing: Charles. He is so ridiculously OP and lucky with such an aggrevating douchebaggy personality that I can't enjoy his characrer. I always skip over the parts where he is featured now.

I guess he is a good character in the sense that you created something that I would feel good about killing in a slow and painful way, but I don't need to read a story in my free time, where I want to enjoy myself, to find somenody like that.

But, it is still possible to make him enjoyable: Make Charles and Jackson meet. Then Jackson beats Charles to near-death. In the meantime Rachel has fallen in love with Jackson and Jackson cuckolds Charles with her. Then let Jackson fuck both Mivra (or she can quickly succumb long before that to that stuff that destroyed Jacksons equipment) and that Empress-to-be in front of bis eyes. After they're finished let them have a final conversation where Charles is very defeated and not fucking smiling for a change. Then they all spit in his face and reopen some of his wounds, just to douse his body in Ethanol and let him burn alive.

And then, we don't need somebody like him in an otherwise very enjoyable story ever again.

no updates ????

No release date it has been 3 months and still you don't know when will you post ch 10 this is not good

i understand you were busy for your semester but now that you have time at least commit to a schedule

She's just amazing. The perfect combination of comedic relief, distressed damsel, tragic heroine and on her lunch breaks she takes time to develop just about every other named character in the story, hero and villain alike.

P.S. Charles needs to stop trying to be a fucking anti-hero and accept his fate as an amazingly hard to hate villain. Can we please just pull a Tokyo Drift and pretend ch. 8 never happened?

So much Charles hatred, and yeah I get that he's the villain but calm down. He's arrogant and expects this to work out for him... Well yeah, he was the golden child to a legacy obsessed billionaire of course he's going to be arrogant, and he expects things to work out well for him because they usually do(*cough* just like in real life *cough*). In fact most of his personality flaws are reasonably easy to explain when you take his upbringing in to account, potentially even the psychopathy.

Beyond that i just wanted to say thanks for the story and all aboard the chapter 10 hype train chop choo!

I'm Buddhist rather than Christian, but I've studied quite a bit on Christianity while trying to understand why some of it's followers are so insane... and from what I've understood so far it seems like your representation of Lucifer is completely opposite of how it should be.

Lucifer was the Morning Star, one who leads, who enlightens. He tried to bring enlightenment to the Humans, and was punished for it; tried to bring enlightenment to the Angels, and was cast down for it. It seems to me that Lucifer is the Christian Prometheus, forever punished by the Gods for giving the mortals fire.

Nowhere in the bible does Lucifer ever harm mortals; it's always Yahweh sending plagues, death, and suffering. Lucifer only ever tries to coax the Humans away from Yahweh. And it seems to me that this is a good thing, is it not? I would prefer to follow the one who shines the light of enlightenment over the one who commands father to slay son to prove his devotion.

Yahweh seems to me as an abusive father, hurting you and telling you that it's all your fault, if only you would just listen, you bring this upon yourself... rules and punishment and death and misery are Yahweh's domain, not Lucifer. So it seems to me that your description of raving lunacy, anger, rage, hatred, totally does not fit his character...

This by far some of the best fiction i have read anywhere recently! I read chapters 1-9 over a couple weeks. Afterwards i read your bio and you mentioned your difficulty with pacing. I only noticed it in the Lucifer scene, which seemed to drag on and have too many points or connections to keep track of along with discriptions of strange pain. Not sure of the fix, but if you assemble this into something else it might benefit from a revision.

Looking forwad to the next chapter and torn between wanting all the answers next chapter and know it is not going to be wrapped up anytime soon.

Please excuse any typos im on a phone right now

Well said. Unfortunately Christian organizations often present misleading or misunderstood interpretations of the "Holy Bible". Christian religions, unlike Judaism, try to claim "God" is good and everything bad isn't his fault. According to any honest interpretation of their mythology, EVERYTHING, including evil, comes from Jehovah / Yahweh. He punishes his imperfect creations for being imperfect. What a great guy...

Sadly, adding Lucifer and "God" to the mix in this story took something vital away from it for me. Oh well.

This is by far the most amazing story i have read on this site, and many others. This is worthy of its own book. I have not been able to stop reading, and now that i have caught up, i dont know what to do. Keep writing, for this is truly a gifted tale, and i need more of it. I daresay i have become addicted to your story.

Hopefully he'll stick to a mid Sept. release. Keeping my fingers crossed.

MAN... YOU SUCK :P

love you actually, see you soon

rachel should be another bond, lets face it... its gotta happen

come on man get the next part fast....or give option. am ready to buy also..

As I read through these chapters, I had assumed that I would be disappointed by the lack of a sequel. Instead, I'm surprised to find myself disappointed about the lack of the ending! Granted, the ending will be somewhat predictable, since I feel it's safe to assume it won't be a tragedy. But an ending would still be nice. I read a comment below that the author is busy, and I understand, but I just wanted to add to the voices that express their desire for the story to continue.

If you guys read his biography, he keeps you updated, he says he's done chapter 10 and is just waiting on the editors and the upload. Stay tuned!

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

1. the removal of the thousand in charles attempts to control isis will reduce the number in the dice roll.

2. while charles is busy taking over the empire less and less people will be able to get to the mountain and join Jackson and Rachel meaning the story stays streamlined.

3. charles will have a task to do with his leg getting eaten away constantly, but he is incredibly clever and resourceful.

4. i have a feeling the story will split in two. one on Jackson, Rachel and others that make it to the mountain. and Charles and his allies seeking out the other half and getting his side set up. leading to an epic clash at the base of the tower once everything is said and done. the last fight between jackson's forces and charles forces.

5. when lucifer finds out that half his chances get snagged under charles he will adjust the power so only those that get to Dis, 9th circle, can re enter it. not just enter the game and simply jump to it.

6. rachel will add to the hold but because she is weak and out of essence without a bonded it will be jackson that swoops in and saves the day.

7. the energy conversion cannon will make an apearance and shred part of the overwhelming forces to pieces giving him a shot at Hale.

8. i love this story and hope that im not a million miles out, sorta.

9. i love this story and hope im completly wrong so its keeping me on my toes and always guessing.

Fucking hell this story rocks

JC

I personally think its the best story period, but I don't want to speak for people who like other genres.

Also, for people who are complaining about the timeline, this guy has other real world shit to do besides write. This story is not exactly a cash cow (it should and could be).

J.R.R. Martin doesn't have to do ANYTHING ELSE and he still gets a 5...no 6? year buy.

This is an amazing story; one of the best on the site. You sir deserve many awards for your writing; you should consider publishing your work. You definitely dsserve much more than the praise and respect of your readers(which you have much of).

This work ist astonishing! Publish it and i will buy it

Very impressive source text knowledge - your characterisation of Lucifer is wonderfully close to Paradise Lost (which I assume is where a great deal of the ideas are drawn - 'his thunder' is a nice mirror, really appreciate that). I love the fact you made the Morning Star just slightly unbalanced too, makes his role as tempter all the more alarming; his truths are convincing in their madness, flawed in their scewed perception. You take the sympathetic Miltonic figure and twist him. As a reader it is disturbing to align at all with Satan, but it shows the author is constructing his role as tempter correctly.

I suspect too, that Dante's Inferno is drawn upon, although Dis is technically between 5th and 6th circles - just saying ;)

Overall it is an excellent undercut of the convention of 'game hero' - this is not a game, the player is not strictly a hero and the GM is not benevolent. It's a nicely timed twist, and sets an overarching clock: at some point, Lucifer will collect. Similarly, the literal deal with the devil that is offered is a nice Chekhov's Gun. At some point that deal will come back to haunt the narrative. I suspect Charles, with his callous ends justifying the means mentality and with no North Star is deliciously suspect. We shall see.

Great job; I'm very impressed.

Otherwise Unknown

I dislike it that you have the christian point of view in your story of magic and sci-fi. I like that you don't make it entirely good versus evil. But i would rather have had a new customized evil than the previously often described evil of the christian satan. It is sandpapery. Though you portray him beautifully.

the lack of more...life is too short...please...more?

Are you telling me that Mom was right after all and that Video Games really ARE the work of the Devil ? ! ? !

&*@#! Well, I'm certainly not gonna tell her, I'd never hear the end of it.

Thanks for the great read!

So this is awesome. Satan likes to play hard to get. The fact that he's offering a deal to Jackson leads me to believe that he doesn't actually own Jackson's soul. I may be a bit early having not read ch 10 yet. Anyhow loved how you portrayed Satan. Great conversation with Jackson I can't wait for you to start the sequel. Hope life is treating you well.

... to be honest, I've always been a fan of the Tao of Mathangi Ten Meti.

Murder the Gods and Topple Their Thrones.

I hope that this series comes back with a vengeance I would LOVE to buy it. I hope you seriously co sided it in the future and it becomes available.

My first comment after nine chapters. Why? I didn’t have time to stop reading. Why now? I simply need to catch my breath. This is THE most amazing story on literotica. Erotic it ain’t, and all the better for it. When I calm down and finish chapter ten, I will hunt down the author and find out where I can get hold of more of his essence in the form of his written word. Google and bio should surely help me in my quest. There must be more. Just brilliant. B.

This is my fourth reread. Such an imaginative story. These last few chapters either always seem rushed, or I'm trying to slow down my reading to attempt to enjoy it longer. Seriously, so much potential to be a great novel rewrite. Flesh it out, give us more. Thank you for sparking my imagination, and I'm not a gamer in the slightest.

Such an awesome chapter. Parts 4-8 seemed like filler, but the story is back on track again and in a big way. Requiring to kill Tell'ad to get 5000 essence seems like a trap to seduce Jackson to the dark side. Will he fall for it? He might find a loophole or, more likely, somehow back into it. Also a chance he doesn't complete the quest at all but that seems like a bit of a copout at this point.

One of my favorite movies as a kid was the Neverending story. The story became real to Bastian when he spoke and the characters in the story heard him. That "Oh shit" moment. When Jackson met the devil the shit suddenly became real.

Wow.

I like that you don't really describe the devil. More about what he feels like than what he looks like. Much scarier.

So they all got played. Huh. Sounds about right actually.