This shit is fairly good. With just a little more effort and a bit longer chapter it would be pretty good.
Don't like it? Go read StangStar06's stuff.
by
Anonymous04/04/15
Actually, this shit ISN'T pretty Good!
But Stang is!
by
Anonymous04/04/15
Penny's worth?
Not two cents. David is in for a slutectomy. Wonder if Ryan will perform the surgery? Hell, even the author is dissing David at this point in the story; pitiful cuck didn't even make the chapter. "Oh, I wouldn't want to hold her back, etc., etc." The stupid fuck has nothing of hers left to hold. That was Stella fucking the Spanish bull, not Penny.
Make the chapters, and the story, as short or as long as you like. There's nothing you can do to hurt this sorry tragedy.
The author has literally lost the plot. After all that stuff about Stella playing out a fantasy for her husband she now is a full-time whore and cheating on their agreement by giving it free to casual bar-pickups. The tension with the husband has been lost. Playing match-maker for other whores too-what a nice woman! Good writing takes self-discipline to sustain the interest. No more of this author for me.
" She seemed like the cat that had swallowed the cannery,..." A cannery is a factory that cans products. I'm sure you meant "canary."
Proof read, proof read, proof read.
Down to 3 *'s. For the word flub and also for the plot. Most every body agrees that Penny has just turned into a trashy whore instead of a wife that started out to please her husband. No mention of David in this chapter. If no better thought or plot change, rating will go down even further for the second half.
by
Anonymous04/04/15
?
Please keep it up, it's keeping mine up .
by
Anonymous04/04/15
This Story Has.....
Gone off the rails and down the rabbit hole.Shame It started with such promise Now just predictable tripe.Doesnt really need Dave anymore now does she?
Another part where the husband was forgotten...And I believe that each time he will be less and less talked and remembered, until he disappears in a foggy night. But at least this part make me laugh a lot when I read the pro-whore "looked embarrassed...". Pleaseeeeeeeeee...1*
I like chapter 5. This author CAN write and this story has potential. However, I would ignore the usual trash talk comments, which add nothing constructive. That said, there were grounds for criticism of previous chapters and room for improvement.
You have stated that this story is projected for twelve chapters too, like the preceding one. In that case, I would suggest that, in the remaining chapters, you try to bring the story around full circle to where "One Trick Penny" started -- or maybe full helix, as the experience of Penny as a pro means her life as Stella could never be exactly as it was. And maybe that's a good thing. Moreover, true identities revealed and the addition of the Ryan character add some interesting possibilities down the stretch.
Don't be discouraged by the negativity. Keep going.
English
how long can this shit go on?
Dear Anon
This shit is fairly good. With just a little more effort and a bit longer chapter it would be pretty good.
Don't like it? Go read StangStar06's stuff.
Actually, this shit ISN'T pretty Good!
But Stang is!
Penny's worth?
Not two cents. David is in for a slutectomy. Wonder if Ryan will perform the surgery? Hell, even the author is dissing David at this point in the story; pitiful cuck didn't even make the chapter. "Oh, I wouldn't want to hold her back, etc., etc." The stupid fuck has nothing of hers left to hold. That was Stella fucking the Spanish bull, not Penny.
Make the chapters, and the story, as short or as long as you like. There's nothing you can do to hurt this sorry tragedy.
YAWN
move along folks nothing to read here
First chapter I've read since chapter 12:
Can honestly say I'm disappointed.
Hopeless
The author has literally lost the plot. After all that stuff about Stella playing out a fantasy for her husband she now is a full-time whore and cheating on their agreement by giving it free to casual bar-pickups. The tension with the husband has been lost. Playing match-maker for other whores too-what a nice woman! Good writing takes self-discipline to sustain the interest. No more of this author for me.
That must have been a pretty big cat!
" She seemed like the cat that had swallowed the cannery,..." A cannery is a factory that cans products. I'm sure you meant "canary."
Proof read, proof read, proof read.
Down to 3 *'s. For the word flub and also for the plot. Most every body agrees that Penny has just turned into a trashy whore instead of a wife that started out to please her husband. No mention of David in this chapter. If no better thought or plot change, rating will go down even further for the second half.
?
Please keep it up, it's keeping mine up .
This Story Has.....
Gone off the rails and down the rabbit hole.Shame It started with such promise Now just predictable tripe.Doesnt really need Dave anymore now does she?
Another part where the husband was forgotten...
Another part where the husband was forgotten...And I believe that each time he will be less and less talked and remembered, until he disappears in a foggy night. But at least this part make me laugh a lot when I read the pro-whore "looked embarrassed...". Pleaseeeeeeeeee...1*
dung
a big pile of it. 1*
Better, but ignore the flamethrowers.
I like chapter 5. This author CAN write and this story has potential. However, I would ignore the usual trash talk comments, which add nothing constructive. That said, there were grounds for criticism of previous chapters and room for improvement.
You have stated that this story is projected for twelve chapters too, like the preceding one. In that case, I would suggest that, in the remaining chapters, you try to bring the story around full circle to where "One Trick Penny" started -- or maybe full helix, as the experience of Penny as a pro means her life as Stella could never be exactly as it was. And maybe that's a good thing. Moreover, true identities revealed and the addition of the Ryan character add some interesting possibilities down the stretch.
Don't be discouraged by the negativity. Keep going.
Great character development
This new story line is very entertaining. I like the character development.
Will enjoy reading to see how this changes Stella and her relationships with the other characters.
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