Penny's Worth Ch. 12

story arc is OK

I said it before.

However, taken as a whole, the story lacked some balance. It could have used a couple more scenes of tension between Stella and Dave. Previous chapter the reader was simply told that Dave wanted Stella back. The tension wasn't in the story, and that tension (the role conflict Stella/Penny) is what was the main motivation motor for the whole story. If that part wasn't there it would have simply been a 'diary of call-girl' story.

That Stella went too far into the alternate life-style was another part of the tension. From a writing point of view I think this is difficult to pull off well in a very short story - the politics and international intrigue. One could debate whether, for an erotic story, the going-too-far might have been better served with a sexual boundary crossed. You just managed to pull of the political anglefrom a writing point of view, although too synoptic.

A lot happened in these 12 chapters. An extra half page per chapter would have helped.

The resolution doesn't follow the setup!

There's not much point in making a detailed comment on what should be obvious to all who stuck with this. After all the unneccesary length in unimportant areas of the story, you suddenly become terse right at the point when more detail was needed, since the conclusion you spun together simply isn't plausible given "the rest of the story"! Did you know how you wanted this to end when you started?

5 stars! I know done complain about the lack of resolution or the brevity of the story

But it was short, sweet and direct. I didn't always enjoy it but overall a very commendable story.

Thanks for writing.

At least...

At least the writer finished this story in a happy way!!! So 1* for the story, 3* for the ending!!!

You fulfilled my expectations. Thank You.

A pointless plot about a stupid husband and a worthless whore for a wife. Since I had dug down through several feet of horse shit looking for the pony, I decided to keep digging until I reached the bottom. As I came to expect, it was just a sock full of shit.

Thank goodness!

This drivel has come to an end.

What an insane piece of shit

Absolute crap. Unbelievable characters and storyline. Absurd ending. Mediocre writing. Disingenuous "author".

Other than that, I have no opinion.

Well...

it was a good ending. 5 *'s

To follow up

I wonder if Krystal, faced with the commentary of the prior 9 chapters or so, withdrew chapt 11 and 12 to try to make it more palatable.

I don't get way she wasn't telling hubby everything from the beginning,he allowed her to do this and got off on it . Most of these 12 chapters make him sound like some dumb mindless dope but in the first story he wasn't. She also went from the best wife ever who does anything to satisfy her husband and marriage to a total worthless whore pig.

It had to be.

A fitting end for the likes of Suárez, as it was for Stella, though with a twist to the (albeit unconventional) "Hollywood" ending, with Stella leaving behind her well-paying but ultimately costly profession, while integrating what she learned as a professional into her amateur self. As it should be.

And so, it appears, ends the saga of Penny. I do hope that the author continues to post on Literotica, though. The brevity of her chapters bothers some commentators, but that seems to be her style. Certainly different from the authors who pad their stories with extraneous details, clichés and tired stereotypes. And her description of the life of a prostitute had the ring of authenticity to it. But if it was indeed only fictional, all the more impressive.

A bit rushed . . . .

As a 'gentleman who likes to take his time', I just thought the finale was reached all in a rush, and while the author undoubtedly created erotic scenarios often enough, their description sometimes was all too brief (imho). That said, I congratulate the author on the two Penny stories for an above average, in fact very solid effort with some thoughtful twists, and certainly I will look out for more of your work.

trash.

Husband comes off as a complete fool, but than he would be.

lowlife porn.

Nobody to like, ugly people ugly story.

1* !

Don't forget ugly writer !!

alls well that ends well

nicely wrapped up
not sure if the spelling errors are accidental or deliberate theft prevention
either way , much enjoyed the two penny storylines
the most vitriolic critics usually appear on comments where the Author has worked some magic to create interesting & engaging protagonists ..
SO look at the haters & flamers comments as evidence of a job well done on character developement

voted 5 stars for each and every chapter on both series

keep up the good work
who knows you may induce a heart attack or stroke on some of the haters
and if not .. you most assuredly will increase the value of my stocks & shares in Big Pharma ... keep promoting the Antacids & other medication with your Outstanding stories

xxxloveyoulotsxxx

Good stories

For the most part you have developed your characters well, but after reading several sets the development was not believable. While I know people can and do act as you have set them up. To me the trouble is they do not care nor do the feel the changes that going on within themselves and around them. No real excitement nor passion.

You wrote well, and I will continue to read your tales and watch as your writing matures and heats up. Just as a side note sex does not always equal passion, sometimes the action between a husband and wife as they lead up to the event can be explosive, examples are in some of "bobfr and newbie2008" stories just to name 2. The sex is good but the interaction is exciting and explosive.