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Okay....interest piqued
This seems really interesting. I can't wait to read more.
YAWN
Bear with me
I know it's a bit yawn for the moment lol. While I appreciate the 'big bang - love at first sight - their attraction is imminent' - kinda stories, I'd like for you to be patient enough to read about Kendra. What kind of girl she is, and what kind of guy Nick is. 'Le moment suprême' between the two of them will be better if you know what they're all about. But I hear ya and I welcome any feedback that is constructive. Part two coming right up!
The Good and the Bad.
The Good: Writing ability is top notch. What was actually here was excellent!
The Bad: Blink twice while reading and you miss it. It was way too short.
My 2 Cents: Make your next chapters longer, please. You can put more information into each chapter as you go. Even as a Prologue or Prelude, this chapter was extremely short.
5 Stars.
Keep writing! :)
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