A flash story is one thing but there still has to be some effort put into it. I figure it took about 2 minutes to write so I gave it one star for each minute.
Flash story or no,this was good you were expecting one thing and had a twist at the end,used all the arguments and slammed them back in one hit .
what's the saying, hoist by your own petard
While I may be a get even type son-of-a-bitch, I am not doing anything for the sake of pride over bank account. Of that you can be 100% certain, I will do what is best for me period call me any adjective you wish just not broke. I have found telling them to move into the guest bedroom and fuck whoever you want, cause I'm now going to do the same, gets their attention better than starting over with half my shit. I'd say live in a conservative state. Why? You might ask, because if most of my assets were acquired prior to the marriage, then I might just be able to leave her with little to nothing, if divorce is the absolute best option for me and only if it is. We would only split the money and the possessions we as a couple accumulated during the marriage nothing brought into or inherited either. Better than a liberal state, she'd get the lion share. That said I'd much rather live as roommates than be broke. But as a man born before the feminization of the culture, don't ask what I might do to the other guy. I can assure you that it would not be playing nice that you can bank on.
How 'bout that. Fucking cunt. How stupid can you be? This could have been stretched into a long tale but it said everything that needed to be said in this short tale. Stupid fucking cunt.
don't worry about how far, just what direction. TK U MLJ LV NV
by
Anonymous04/04/15
Stupid Woman / Wife
For a flash story it wasn't bad. Could have been a lot more. Even though it wasn't in the story, think the wife was planning in her mind to have her cake and everything else. Kind of a huge opportunity of control and power. Glad it didn't get that far. So she was a very stupid woman / wife. You could very easily write a sequel leading up to her cheating and how the husband got the e-mails and eventually caught her. 4 stars.
She got the sentence she deserved, the same one she chose. Sadly, cheating does not just start 30+ years into a marriage. Shitheads are shitheads for their whole lives. A review of the marriage "books" will find other "cheating" possibly in other forms, but still cheating. People do not change.
by
Anonymous04/04/15
Nice twist
It was long enough, said it all and was enjoyable. I don't care why she did it, the fact that she did is enough. I also believe he knew she wouldn't be forgiving that's why the divorce papers were ready. No fault divorce needs to be overturned but I guess a good prenuptial could cover infidelity...
Why are all these short stories potential gems of a longer ones that never get written. Thanks for shRing 5 & FAV
by
Anonymous04/04/15
Good story. Now write one with the wife's POV
I'd love to find out what the wife was thinking as he made his "confession." Did she remember her own affair as she was cursing him? How did she justify her affair to herself?
reasonable man
by
Anonymous04/04/15
now
this is life not the asshole sickos that write on this site, i don't mind the ones that agree to do it but the numbers that write the same old crap in their dreams they believe they are normal. This story is to the point no fighting split the assets and get rid of the garbage.
done before. The problem with the premise is that if the trapped partner is willing to end the marriage because he/she believes the other cheated, they can't be so totally devastated as the stories portray when the marriage ends because their own cheating is revealed.
A more interesting alternate in this scenario would be if she does forgive him for his "confession" but does not confess her own affair. Would he still stay with her?
by
Anonymous04/04/15
Original
While as others have said this is not an original story idea, but fairly well done. Always good when a writer is willing to take a crack at a known theme.
by
Anonymous04/04/15
cowardly
I started the story and thought the wife's reaction was unrealistic, way over the top. Her reaction was exactly like all the emotionally immature husband revenge stories.
And what do I get? A 'twist' where the author/husband projects his lust for intolerance onto the wife first, and then give HER the blame for the decision. Coward.
your a fucking idiot, immature was the BS you wrote about the husband. This was a well thought out plan. Over the top was thinking that is IQ above your shoe size. She hanged herself, he just gave her the rope.
If you are in doubt, just look at how many points of view it has produced.
It is brief, but what is there causes you to wonder what led them to this point. If she has been in an affair for a year, did she view his "confession" as her opportunity to escape into her fantasy life full time? Did he actually have an affair of his own, or was it his way of forcing the confrontation?
Those open ended questions are indicators of a well crafted flash.
You don't play these tit for tat games irl . He weighed 32 years of happiness against a 'one and done ' affair that was far in the past and the wife's spectacular fail in present mind fuck game . The result was divorce. My verdict would have differed, UNLESS the
underlying truth was the marriage has come to an effective end .
Would love a sequel where the now ex-husband ventures out into the single life and all its resident hazards. Very provocative job by author- I don't believe in giving flash stories full marks, unless they stand out in some singular way. This one does just that. *****
The outcome - her desire to remain together, after cheating for a year - is not rational. When she believed hubby was a cheater she (1) asked him to leave (2) stated she wanted a divorce and (3) was about to expose him to the kids. The logical motive would be that at the very least, she wanted out of the marriage and most likely wanted to spend her remaining life with James.
IRL she would have welcomed the split - especially since he was generous (a) in citing the cause for the divorce action as Irreconcilable differences instead of infidelity (b) the property split and (c) keeping her year-long affair secret from the kids. So, although the tale was well told, well written and mercifully brief, the final outcome of a devastated wife doesn't ring true in any sense.
At least you didn't write two more pages that described her kneeling in front of her hubby with tears running down her face day after day asking for forgiveness as has been known to happen to appease the BTB crowd.
Often cheaters,especially women,create this fantasy about why they cheat,how it was to affirm they looked good still,etc,but if their partner cheats they go nuclear and no excuse is going to fly,they are out for blood,etc...part of that is a created fictional world that they weren't really cheating,there was no harm,because their bs covers up them realizing the pain they are causing...but they hear their hubby cheated and that is tral,betrayal,etc,and they go nuclear.From what a therapist told me,often a cheater will be less likely to forive chea ring than a,non cheater,the guilt of what they themselves did drives the rage,much as cheaters feeling guilt often treat their so's like shit.
by
Anonymous04/04/15
Unrealistic characters and behavior.
Isn't the usual first act of walking in the door at the end of a work day is hugs and kisses of welcome home? This couple started off very cold toward each other, and went down hill from there. I don't think the husband actually confirmed with the wife that she was cheating, but assumed based on her reaction to his accusation. The whole interaction was too cold, too harsh, and too brief to indicate there was much of a relationship at this point in the marriage. The plot is reasonable, but the presentation was rather contrived and unrealistic. The wife sat and listened to the husband as requested, but the husband did not stay to listen to the wife's explanation. What would that have cost him? So I get the goal was to be a dramatic heart wrenching flash story, where the wife hangs herself. But I really wonder why the husband thought she would object to a divorce if her affair had been going on for a year. That's not just a sexual fling, for a woman. That's emotional commitment. So
the marriage was probably were over anyway, but I think he should have allowed her her say.
by
Anonymous04/04/15
Not really much of a twist
At least personally, I saw it coming a mile away.
That said, the "I guess I'll never know." only makes it half a story. Why never? Sure, they're getting divorced, but they'll never talk again, they'll never see each other again, their children won't want answers and tell him? Now, THAT'S unrealistic.
The guilty pronounces judgment on herself. Very nice.
Could someone in this situation not care about being divorced because they already have someone on the side? Maybe. As per many of these stories, the woman may be perfectly intent on preserving her marriage, just wanting something on the side. She might not even like the lover outside of the sex, certainly not enough to marry him.
So being devastated over the divorce is certainly plausible. She never intended to get caught and she never intended her marriage to be jeopardized. She certainly has that arrogance when she comes home. SHE will dictate when they will talk, until her husband demands she talk immediately.
I like it because true justice was served. She condemned herself.
I agree with another comment that this is not a story, just a scene. There was no character development, no history, no ending. For example, why was she so adamant that she had to shower? Had she just come from her lover? All this story was is his trick to get her to condemn herself. Not really enough to carry the story.
Deja vu all over again! Not a bad rendition, but certainly not the best version of the 'Be Your Own Judge' trick.
I do believe that it IS a complete story. Too much before and the 'flip' is given away. Much more afterwards is just kicking a dead horse. Stretching out the confrontation is JUST stretching it out ... doesn't contribute much ... or anything!
3*
by
Anonymous04/04/15
I was expecting
more. I was looking for page 2 and was surprised when it was actually done. I agree with the other comments. Had it been longer and better developed I would have given it 5 stars based on originality alone. In its present condition it's only worth 3.
How stupid can someone be? That's what called my attention in this story...She cheated for one year and couldn't forgive one night? Did she forget all about her errors? She forgot above all that forgiving her husband she would have a joker if one day her affair came out to the light...but something about cheaters: they think they are smarter than anyone and that usualy is their destruction...4*
I loved his tactic. But after her year long affair you give her the house? The only thing she deserved was a Bronx Cheer. Then, my size 12 kicking her slutty ass out the door.
by
Anonymous04/05/15
She got the house ...
when she deserved the door! A familiar yarn done rather ineptly. **
Nice story. Most people have a tendency to judge other people's actions but want people judge their "intent". They will say they never meant to hurt you or they never intended for it to become this big thing. They want forgiveness based on their heart, but when it comes to giving that same forgiveness they get on their high horse and judge the action of the other person. That is what this wife did. Her judgments were based on what she felt he did despite her own actions. I'm even willing to bet that she put her own infidelity in a different category in her mind than she did his. She justified her own actions to herself by saying that her husband didn't get hurt by it; therefore, no harm no foul.
We sit here and judge this wife, but everyone does this at some time. I have had conversations with people about arguments that they have had with their spouse. They always relate the spouse's side of the argument by saying EXACTLY what he/she said, how they said it, and what hand motions they used. These same people often paraphrase their own side of the argument, usually in a softer, calmer tone of voice. I'm sure many other people have observed this. That is what makes this story realistic.
My only beef is that I wish it were longer. This was too short to get any real satisfaction from it. This story was that bowl of ice cream that was one spoonful shy of being a great treat. When you finish the bowl you sit and wish that there was just one more scoop.
Nice little tale, but the twist was foreshadowed a mile away
and furthermore, that's what women do, they dont see the world the way men do. so forgiveness for her was out of the question, maybe because though she had an out with Jim. That was not explored and would make a good sequel-why did she cheat and how did she feel about it, and this little scenario presented above.
Nice job and thx for your efforts.
by
Anonymous04/05/15
unrealistic
This line of conversation would have activated her defences for her actions immediately. She would not have been so harsh. And why would she scream NO at his demand for divorce, when she wanted divorce herself just a moment ago?
by
Anonymous04/05/15
5*****
A very good fable story about the hypocrisy of the cheaters!
about
Right
This wasn't even a story.
A flash story is one thing but there still has to be some effort put into it. I figure it took about 2 minutes to write so I gave it one star for each minute.
Flash story or no,this was good you were expecting one thing and had a twist at the end,used all the arguments and slammed them back in one hit .
what's the saying, hoist by your own petard
It's**
Almost a read.
your decisions in life
May come back to you and bite you in the ass
while I am get even SOB
Your story no a realistic real life choice.
While I may be a get even type son-of-a-bitch, I am not doing anything for the sake of pride over bank account. Of that you can be 100% certain, I will do what is best for me period call me any adjective you wish just not broke. I have found telling them to move into the guest bedroom and fuck whoever you want, cause I'm now going to do the same, gets their attention better than starting over with half my shit. I'd say live in a conservative state. Why? You might ask, because if most of my assets were acquired prior to the marriage, then I might just be able to leave her with little to nothing, if divorce is the absolute best option for me and only if it is. We would only split the money and the possessions we as a couple accumulated during the marriage nothing brought into or inherited either. Better than a liberal state, she'd get the lion share. That said I'd much rather live as roommates than be broke. But as a man born before the feminization of the culture, don't ask what I might do to the other guy. I can assure you that it would not be playing nice that you can bank on.
Enjoyed it
a nice little flash tale. But now we will never know as well.
Damn
How 'bout that. Fucking cunt. How stupid can you be? This could have been stretched into a long tale but it said everything that needed to be said in this short tale. Stupid fucking cunt.
WHEN SOME ONE SAYS JUMP
don't worry about how far, just what direction. TK U MLJ LV NV
Stupid Woman / Wife
For a flash story it wasn't bad. Could have been a lot more. Even though it wasn't in the story, think the wife was planning in her mind to have her cake and everything else. Kind of a huge opportunity of control and power. Glad it didn't get that far. So she was a very stupid woman / wife. You could very easily write a sequel leading up to her cheating and how the husband got the e-mails and eventually caught her. 4 stars.
Justice
She got the sentence she deserved, the same one she chose. Sadly, cheating does not just start 30+ years into a marriage. Shitheads are shitheads for their whole lives. A review of the marriage "books" will find other "cheating" possibly in other forms, but still cheating. People do not change.
Nice twist
It was long enough, said it all and was enjoyable. I don't care why she did it, the fact that she did is enough. I also believe he knew she wouldn't be forgiving that's why the divorce papers were ready. No fault divorce needs to be overturned but I guess a good prenuptial could cover infidelity...
interesting
interesting way to go about things but when you think about it seems to be maybe the fair way. he did give her a fair chance to decide
Good Quick Read
I wonder what he would have done if she'd said,
"Yes, I'll forgive you, partly because it was a long time ago."
Half a story
Incomplete only gets you a 3*
well
a year long affair? after 32 years, ouch.
No she doesnt want him anymore, not at all.
Thats why she acted that way despite her own issues.
It needs more though, to complete it.
A nugget of a story
Why are all these short stories potential gems of a longer ones that never get written. Thanks for shRing 5 & FAV
Good story. Now write one with the wife's POV
I'd love to find out what the wife was thinking as he made his "confession." Did she remember her own affair as she was cursing him? How did she justify her affair to herself?
reasonable man
now
this is life not the asshole sickos that write on this site, i don't mind the ones that agree to do it but the numbers that write the same old crap in their dreams they believe they are normal. This story is to the point no fighting split the assets and get rid of the garbage.
Incomplete and done many times before.
Good Flash Story
Kind of saw the end coming. Wifey dearest got what she deserved. As flash stories go, I thought it made sense.
As Anonymous said
done before. The problem with the premise is that if the trapped partner is willing to end the marriage because he/she believes the other cheated, they can't be so totally devastated as the stories portray when the marriage ends because their own cheating is revealed.
A more interesting alternate in this scenario would be if she does forgive him for his "confession" but does not confess her own affair. Would he still stay with her?
Original
While as others have said this is not an original story idea, but fairly well done. Always good when a writer is willing to take a crack at a known theme.
cowardly
I started the story and thought the wife's reaction was unrealistic, way over the top. Her reaction was exactly like all the emotionally immature husband revenge stories.
And what do I get? A 'twist' where the author/husband projects his lust for intolerance onto the wife first, and then give HER the blame for the decision. Coward.
entertaining
I liked it
re: cowardly
your a fucking idiot, immature was the BS you wrote about the husband. This was a well thought out plan. Over the top was thinking that is IQ above your shoe size. She hanged herself, he just gave her the rope.
*****
Not bad. Give her the shoes to walk in and let her self discover her personal level of hypocrisy. Nicely done.
Nice quick read
I could see this one coming but it unfolded well. It also sets the stage for continuing the story if you wish.
thought provoking
If you are in doubt, just look at how many points of view it has produced.
It is brief, but what is there causes you to wonder what led them to this point. If she has been in an affair for a year, did she view his "confession" as her opportunity to escape into her fantasy life full time? Did he actually have an affair of his own, or was it his way of forcing the confrontation?
Those open ended questions are indicators of a well crafted flash.
Enjoyed it , five starred it but ....
You don't play these tit for tat games irl . He weighed 32 years of happiness against a 'one and done ' affair that was far in the past and the wife's spectacular fail in present mind fuck game . The result was divorce. My verdict would have differed, UNLESS the
underlying truth was the marriage has come to an effective end .
Would love a sequel where the now ex-husband ventures out into the single life and all its resident hazards. Very provocative job by author- I don't believe in giving flash stories full marks, unless they stand out in some singular way. This one does just that. *****
This is a very sad story. 5*
He set the lure, she swallowed it and she destroyed her marriage.
His false cheating statement...
...said that he wanted forgiveness for ONE NIGHTS betrayal !!
His wife had a YEAR LONG AFFAIR - and expected forgiveness,after saying she would never forgive him and asked him to leave - what ??!!
I thought he was extremely fair in what the Divorce docs.said - I wouldn't have - not after THAT outburst !!
Too irrational
The outcome - her desire to remain together, after cheating for a year - is not rational. When she believed hubby was a cheater she (1) asked him to leave (2) stated she wanted a divorce and (3) was about to expose him to the kids. The logical motive would be that at the very least, she wanted out of the marriage and most likely wanted to spend her remaining life with James.
IRL she would have welcomed the split - especially since he was generous (a) in citing the cause for the divorce action as Irreconcilable differences instead of infidelity (b) the property split and (c) keeping her year-long affair secret from the kids. So, although the tale was well told, well written and mercifully brief, the final outcome of a devastated wife doesn't ring true in any sense.
At least you didn't write two more pages that described her kneeling in front of her hubby with tears running down her face day after day asking for forgiveness as has been known to happen to appease the BTB crowd.
Good effort. Thanks for the read.
somewhat real
Often cheaters,especially women,create this fantasy about why they cheat,how it was to affirm they looked good still,etc,but if their partner cheats they go nuclear and no excuse is going to fly,they are out for blood,etc...part of that is a created fictional world that they weren't really cheating,there was no harm,because their bs covers up them realizing the pain they are causing...but they hear their hubby cheated and that is tral,betrayal,etc,and they go nuclear.From what a therapist told me,often a cheater will be less likely to forive chea ring than a,non cheater,the guilt of what they themselves did drives the rage,much as cheaters feeling guilt often treat their so's like shit.
Unrealistic characters and behavior.
Isn't the usual first act of walking in the door at the end of a work day is hugs and kisses of welcome home? This couple started off very cold toward each other, and went down hill from there. I don't think the husband actually confirmed with the wife that she was cheating, but assumed based on her reaction to his accusation. The whole interaction was too cold, too harsh, and too brief to indicate there was much of a relationship at this point in the marriage. The plot is reasonable, but the presentation was rather contrived and unrealistic. The wife sat and listened to the husband as requested, but the husband did not stay to listen to the wife's explanation. What would that have cost him? So I get the goal was to be a dramatic heart wrenching flash story, where the wife hangs herself. But I really wonder why the husband thought she would object to a divorce if her affair had been going on for a year. That's not just a sexual fling, for a woman. That's emotional commitment. So
the marriage was probably were over anyway, but I think he should have allowed her her say.
Not really much of a twist
At least personally, I saw it coming a mile away.
That said, the "I guess I'll never know." only makes it half a story. Why never? Sure, they're getting divorced, but they'll never talk again, they'll never see each other again, their children won't want answers and tell him? Now, THAT'S unrealistic.
Not a story
Just a ridiculously melodramatic scene.
Nicely laid out
The guilty pronounces judgment on herself. Very nice.
Could someone in this situation not care about being divorced because they already have someone on the side? Maybe. As per many of these stories, the woman may be perfectly intent on preserving her marriage, just wanting something on the side. She might not even like the lover outside of the sex, certainly not enough to marry him.
So being devastated over the divorce is certainly plausible. She never intended to get caught and she never intended her marriage to be jeopardized. She certainly has that arrogance when she comes home. SHE will dictate when they will talk, until her husband demands she talk immediately.
I like it because true justice was served. She condemned herself.
janic3, you speak like a woman that has done this herself
But like true cheaters, you underestimate how she feels but you would have moved on. Have you ever stop to think maybe she wasn't a gold-digger?
Partial story
I agree with another comment that this is not a story, just a scene. There was no character development, no history, no ending. For example, why was she so adamant that she had to shower? Had she just come from her lover? All this story was is his trick to get her to condemn herself. Not really enough to carry the story.
Done before ... better!
Deja vu all over again! Not a bad rendition, but certainly not the best version of the 'Be Your Own Judge' trick.
I do believe that it IS a complete story. Too much before and the 'flip' is given away. Much more afterwards is just kicking a dead horse. Stretching out the confrontation is JUST stretching it out ... doesn't contribute much ... or anything!
3*
I was expecting
more. I was looking for page 2 and was surprised when it was actually done. I agree with the other comments. Had it been longer and better developed I would have given it 5 stars based on originality alone. In its present condition it's only worth 3.
nice short read, thanks.
How stupid can someone be?
How stupid can someone be? That's what called my attention in this story...She cheated for one year and couldn't forgive one night? Did she forget all about her errors? She forgot above all that forgiving her husband she would have a joker if one day her affair came out to the light...but something about cheaters: they think they are smarter than anyone and that usualy is their destruction...4*
not me
I loved his tactic. But after her year long affair you give her the house? The only thing she deserved was a Bronx Cheer. Then, my size 12 kicking her slutty ass out the door.
She got the house ...
when she deserved the door! A familiar yarn done rather ineptly. **
Nice story but too short
Nice story. Most people have a tendency to judge other people's actions but want people judge their "intent". They will say they never meant to hurt you or they never intended for it to become this big thing. They want forgiveness based on their heart, but when it comes to giving that same forgiveness they get on their high horse and judge the action of the other person. That is what this wife did. Her judgments were based on what she felt he did despite her own actions. I'm even willing to bet that she put her own infidelity in a different category in her mind than she did his. She justified her own actions to herself by saying that her husband didn't get hurt by it; therefore, no harm no foul.
We sit here and judge this wife, but everyone does this at some time. I have had conversations with people about arguments that they have had with their spouse. They always relate the spouse's side of the argument by saying EXACTLY what he/she said, how they said it, and what hand motions they used. These same people often paraphrase their own side of the argument, usually in a softer, calmer tone of voice. I'm sure many other people have observed this. That is what makes this story realistic.
My only beef is that I wish it were longer. This was too short to get any real satisfaction from it. This story was that bowl of ice cream that was one spoonful shy of being a great treat. When you finish the bowl you sit and wish that there was just one more scoop.
Nice little tale, but the twist was foreshadowed a mile away
and furthermore, that's what women do, they dont see the world the way men do. so forgiveness for her was out of the question, maybe because though she had an out with Jim. That was not explored and would make a good sequel-why did she cheat and how did she feel about it, and this little scenario presented above.
Nice job and thx for your efforts.
unrealistic
This line of conversation would have activated her defences for her actions immediately. She would not have been so harsh. And why would she scream NO at his demand for divorce, when she wanted divorce herself just a moment ago?
5*****
A very good fable story about the hypocrisy of the cheaters!
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