All Comments on 'Busted'

Loved it. Makes you wonder just what is going on and then the end says it all.

Great short story.

Another good story [if I read it correctly], Pat. The little twist at the end is good.

Just when I was beginning to believe she should be thrown out like turning worm Cassandra was.

Nightowl21

This was another lame cheating story! The twist made up for it!

Thanks for Writing!

Sexmate

The nearest analogy that comes to mind is the female version of O. Henry, writing erotic fiction.

When she was bad, she was very, very good. Just ask the state trooper. Such a creative couple crafted by an equally creative writer.

She is good isn't she?

really loved the story good sex and a twist..well impressed!

Great story & I wasn't expecting the final twist really caught me off guard. Well done

I enjoyed the story and I loved the twist, I was really getting angry with her and you made my day. Thank you

Has a neat twist to it.

The cop was her husband i bet oh wow.

Pat Murray

Atlanta,Ga.

I love the way you do those role playing stories

Pat Murray

Atlanta,Ga

I loved the spice the cop and the woman put into there marriage to spice up there life Pat.

Atlanta,Ga

I have always loved stories with a twist. I have written them myself, calling them "O'Henry Erotica". This one was very well done, thanks :)

Hi Patricia, it really is difficult when you find a terrific author and read some of their later work. Bridgets days and nights were marvelous. I've just looked back to see that you wrote this in 2003 and to me it shows. The writing is as good as always but I think I got the twist before she had even left home. I suppose that is the problem with a genre that most of the twists are as old as sex and passion themselves. Please keep in touch. Rob

I am reminded of assignment we received in college -write on X subject covering a, b, c in no more than two pages...Boy, those were the hardest! Same here - building a scene a character sticking a complication and a resolution all in a short page and it all works seamlessly!

Regarding the comments of the previous reader - I respectfully disagree. After reading many stories of even the best known authors in a given genre, one could guess certain twists and turns. I could guess the twist here but that is not a minus for a particular story if you already know the author's writing in and out. The question is as follows: can 'the story' defend itself with reasonable deniability up to the point of the twist? My answer is yes. Many cops for known and unknown reasons (too many...) arrest people for all kind of reasons. You could SUSPECT that it might not be what it seems - but you are not SURE until the author decides to tell you her ending - and that's something that not every shmo can do...

Patricia

Thanks for a delightful story. Just sorry I didn't think of something like this back in the day of those boring patrols when I was the cop. Folks you hear all these stories of cop groupies, believe me they are few and far between, specially for the rural cops.

What a waste of time reading this "story".

If that is the best you can do, why don't you stick to toilet graffiti?

I really enjoyed it. Nice to see a husband and wife spice it up.

Enjoyed that. Comic relief at the end. Thank you'

nice twist to the ending

Nice, Quick and satisfying. I thought that might be where it was going but not for sure. Funny thing is by being a State Trouper there was a"very large" element of danger... For both of them. Amazing what people will do for the sake of their marriage. :)

I enjoyed it immensely. Pity, there are only 5 stars - I would have awarded a 9 minimum.

I was about to give up on this as just another slut wife story but I waded through it. I'm glad I did. The surprise ending was refreshing and entertaining. It's good that these two have found a way to inject some harmless fun into their relationship.

I'd like to say I didn't like it but that would make me seem like a real weirdo here. They took too many chances and she could have gooten hurt.

Fuck it.

I hate cheating wives and asshole cops. Even if it's pretend'

HA

a cornhole buggered, a piehole full of meaty cock, betrayed!

Most things don't get past me but this caught me completely by surprise, good job.

but I saw it coming a mile away. Nice try though.

to remain status quo. TK U MLJ LV NV

The author definitely has a fantastic sense if humour and great writing skills. I loved the story...please writ on!

I read this a couple of times before I started commenting but this is a fine example of a bit of Loving Wife. Of course, the author cheated on us with the thoughts she gave to the lady...

Predictable but still a fun read, with a real Loving Wife.

Oh wait - you already discounted that idea. ;-)

Well then I guess I'll have to settle for praising you for the final twist in the story. I didn't see that coming. Great work.

Thanks for sharing

I enjoy your stories and really like the twists at the end. I've read a couple of your stories and they all had some kind of unexpected endings. They are different and that is a good thing.

However, I enjoy role-playing but anytime you bring other people into it, Hank,etc. You are opening yourselves up to problems. All kinds of bad things can happen if there is the slightest little snag in the plan. Just my opinion.

Thanks for the writing.

And I didn't see the twist at the end coming either! Well done.

Now that was a jolt! Fantastic ending! Good show, Pat. Thank you. Cheers!

I have no problems with a twist, but TOTALLY misleading the reader to sucker them into your trap is a cheap trick.

but a nice trick on the reader.

or was it a clone, TK U MLJ LV NV

Nice story. I liked it. Was expecting a little more involvement w/ the group of people at the table but oh well. It all was quite nice.

Well written.

Loved it.

Thanks for a short, sweet story.

A nice little ditty!

Excellent writing and plotting, even way back in 2003! The "tell" for me was the totally bogus "arrest" for solicitation. Had to be hubby! ;-)

Your style reminds me of the author Ann Douglas, who wrote many fine short stories back in the Usenet days. For those who don't know her work, she's reposting a lot of her old stuff here on Lit now.

I just stumbled onto your work recently, Patricia, and I'm very much enjoying it!

Obvious, but cute.

i have multiple favorites and this is erotic and fun to read .thank you .lonerider10

Pretty good little story. Liked it.

Excellent twist there! Almost got me!

I love your style of writing.

The ending gave me a good laugh. LOL

Again, and another twist story from Patricia51. Her stories are well worth reading more than once.

Good

I kept thinking what cheating cunt she is. I thought that getting taken by the cop is her just desserts. Oh No! The cop is her husband! They’re role playing. What a neat twist. 5 Stars.

First rule of writing: don’t lie to your readers. If they don’t trust you they won’t believe you. If they don’t believe you they won’t enjoy reading you. If they don’t enjoy reading you, they won’t read you.

The lie came quite early: “She knew this bar was not in any city limits and wondered who would have called the Sheriff's Department.” If she knew it was a setup, she would not wonder. There were numerous other statements that belied the fact that they were simply living out a fantasy.

The worst part of the writing was, as soon as the cop agreed to fuck her it was obvious that it was just a married couple getting their rocks off.

Great twist to an old way of husband and wife "casual pick-up" routine. Never saw it coming. It's like you told a joke keeping a straight face

@Anonymous Re: "Broke primary rule of writing" - I must agree. We're in her head. She wouldn't be wondering.

Interesting but looked evident from about first 3 minutes. 🧐😁👍

another funny one. still need an editor or a better one. "put his stern visage right up *the* the bartender" example of one of many, also there were too many ANDs. try to re-format the sentence so u dont have to use so many. its ok in dialog but not in narration

I enjoy your writing, you are a wonderful author!

This was a Great Short Story ..

Most excellent!!!!!!!!!!! five stars

:-)

Bill

Lmao can somebody say ‘role play with a twist’ please ? I loved it great catchy ending

Not a bad story at all. Very good twist.

Sometime soon, she won't want to be saved and Cucky the trooper will get his real fantasy.

Real touching... Your fantasy?

Nice twist.

Ed

Love the twist

Painfully obvious and not at all interesting.

Liked the story for the most part. The lead up to the twist really didn't give away the punch line. Good job. Isn't it telling that someone always calls a "twist" and well written twist at that, obvious and not interesting. Max. bull shit on that comment. Most comments like that are written to make the commentator look smart. most fail. Good story and will read some ore of your work. Thanks for the effort. arsenelupin66: your misinterpreting the phrase "Get hold of yourself".

The author, if really a woman, certain lives a a world of fantasies. Has she lost her mind?

Fantasies (even sick, weird ones), at home are one thing, but involving others, especially without their consent is another! It wasn’t right for her to tease, then him to intimidate the bar patrons. Just reinforces the idea that police are bullies.

That indignant anonymous idiot beneath me is pathetic.

Complainers below have no imagination or sense of fun. This is just a story and a pretty good one - and cetainly it's well written.

Fun story. Thanks.

Ed

This was a great story and I loved the final twist at the end. I give the story five stars!!! Seems like Gail might be making another trip out soon, perhaps to another bar, and have her husband arrest her and fuck her once again. She seemed to like the feeling of helplessness that this made her feel. Great story!!!

Fun story!

This story was a lot of fun. I never saw the twist coming.

She knew it was her husband, why the extreme reaction you can twist the end for readers but they KNEW