Brothers and sisters can help each other out. It can have great benefits if both have good attitude
by
Anonymous04/10/15
so hot
I loved this one mmmmm mmmm good
by
Anonymous04/10/15
not bad
but not great
by
Anonymous04/20/15
Downer
You know, you pretty much ruined a great story. As it is you had her jump into bed with him a little too quickly for believability. Not that we have to think all these stories are real, but a little in the way of believability helps the reader to get into the story. Having her get pregnant seems a little run-of-the-mill. It seems almost expected in incest stories that the mother, sister, cousin, aunt, grandmother, whoever is to get pregnant. But it was still really enjoyable until you had her giving it up for adoption. Their Love Child shouldn't have been thrown away and that pretty much made the story a flop for me.
U have some rough talent for this genre so keep trying by all means. I find stories between 1-4 pages work best, I prefer no more than 3 though. I'd try for 2 pages next time putting in a bit more text to build it up more. Also I personally find it less believable when you use vulgarity and major swearing (especially during sex scenes), like fuck and cunt in these type of stories. If you are English I guess cunt is natural in descriptive writing for you and I dont encourage you to change that part. Also when it comes to (first time together) stories like this, its unrealistic to write the girl in positions that wouldnt happen in that circumstance. As you write id suggest that every paragraph written you read it out loud and ask yourself if it sounds like i would REALLY happen that way. I mean this all as constructive criticism so please dont despair.
English
Nice story
Brothers and sisters can help each other out. It can have great benefits if both have good attitude
so hot
I loved this one mmmmm mmmm good
not bad
but not great
Downer
You know, you pretty much ruined a great story. As it is you had her jump into bed with him a little too quickly for believability. Not that we have to think all these stories are real, but a little in the way of believability helps the reader to get into the story. Having her get pregnant seems a little run-of-the-mill. It seems almost expected in incest stories that the mother, sister, cousin, aunt, grandmother, whoever is to get pregnant. But it was still really enjoyable until you had her giving it up for adoption. Their Love Child shouldn't have been thrown away and that pretty much made the story a flop for me.
Needs some real work
U have some rough talent for this genre so keep trying by all means. I find stories between 1-4 pages work best, I prefer no more than 3 though. I'd try for 2 pages next time putting in a bit more text to build it up more. Also I personally find it less believable when you use vulgarity and major swearing (especially during sex scenes), like fuck and cunt in these type of stories. If you are English I guess cunt is natural in descriptive writing for you and I dont encourage you to change that part. Also when it comes to (first time together) stories like this, its unrealistic to write the girl in positions that wouldnt happen in that circumstance. As you write id suggest that every paragraph written you read it out loud and ask yourself if it sounds like i would REALLY happen that way. I mean this all as constructive criticism so please dont despair.
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