All Comments on 'Feast for the Demoness'

Don't tell people you're beating yourself up or you're not good or whatever. You're just asking people to disagree. Work on your craft and share it if you want to, don't beg for compliments in your author's note.

Your writing would be better if you used quotations to make dialogue clear and if you corrected simple grammatical mistakes. Don't put something out there that you wouldn't want a potential publisher to see. I hate how much unprofessional, low quality work shows up on this site.

Very Vivid and Convincing and True and Real! She wants to feed! Love this story! Waiting for More!...

I really liked this, though part of me wishes we'd gotten to see the demoness/succubus give him an actual blowjob, wrapping his cock fully into her sucking mouth and stroking tongue. But still, very, very good.

I will make one criticism though: you need to use quotation marks when characters are speaking.

look, I know you tried, and you made a good story here, but your grammar and quotation needs major work. I also reccomend you only use words that you understand, instead of attempting to sound smart by using words of a synonymous meaning to those which would make more sence. you need to realize, that tactic only works when you actually can comprehend when and where to implement those 'big' words. you, obviously, do not have that knowledge, so please, just write like a normal person, and this would be a truly amazing piece of literature, but you ruined it by attempting to sound smarter. it's erotic literature, not a college term essay. so just use terms you understand

don't listen to people who live to criticize others work. this is a good story, I liked it very much. I thought it could have been longer. as far as it being a little rough, this is not for publication here, it is for fun. get a life, assholes

Nice work. I came.

See? THAT is how people should rate stories here. This isn't a publication, it's an erotica website. Why does grammar and stylinghave to matter such a big deal? For all the critics of this piece, I ask you this: did you successfully masterbate to this? You did? Then you can't say this was badly written.

The only time grammar and punctuation should be criticized is when it affect the entire story (e.g. Making it incomprehensible, ruining the mood), not when it had little effect to it at all.