All Comments on 'College Shemale babysitter'

that was total shite

Not bad, a little short but sexy

We know she's a shemale, you don't need to mention it every thirty seconds. It's distracting to see it repeated so often.

Tom being into shemale porn seems awfully convenient. I know it's a common trope in this genre for the guy to be bi/gay/interested in shemales, but he's also a teenage boy who has a hot babe in his house. He was entranced enough by her ass to want it. Even if she has a dick, I don't think he'd care. Teenage boys are not much removed from rutting animals. She's cute, he'd fuck her.

The sudden kink for being dominated seems, well, too sudden. We don't even know why it appeals to Jessica. I'm not saying we need a ton of backstory, but being called a slut isn't the most common fetish out there. Is it the appeal of such a strong, powerful man taking what he wants? Is it feeding a sense of inferiority, masochism? Is it related to her being a shemale or just her personality?

Related to that is the overall length of the sex scene. The actual sex is only one short paragraph before they start cumming. How is anyone going to enjoy it? Get into the character's head. Yeah, sex is good. Why is it good? It's Jessica's first time even having a moment with a guy, and she's going all the way and is having sex with him. Surely she has to be thinking something, surely she has to be feeling something. Is she ecstatic she's getting sexual attention from such a hunk? Does it hurt her first time getting it in the ass, or does the feeling of being filled and stretched back there excite her in ways she never imagined?

Slow down. It can be a lot harder to do something detailed than quick like this, but it's ultimately the biggest stepping stone to be a better writer.

Anyway...Randomguy pretty much spelled it all out in what he posted. I feel that this did have some good potential. You had my attention throughout most of it, until the actual sex started. Then when I realized it was only one short page long, and that they sex scene was really short, you kind of lost me. Take into consideration the things that Randomguy pointed out, and maybe give it another try. Like I said, this definitely had the potential.

I would love to see more of this story.

Have sometimes imagined dressing up when babysitting :-)

Even tho this was somewhat short,it was satisfying as such.But to clarify I think the author should either edit this or continue the story.Maybe have Tom get Jessica be his girlfriend,and add the dynamic that he's dating a College Girl who's also a shemale.

And maybe after Highschool Tom and Jessica could be a College Couple who live together,and even after college Tom asks Jessica to marry him,and do the whole Wedding Night fun,but also have Jessica fuck Tom with her small cock to consumate their vows.

And even tho Jessica can't bare children her and Tom could adopt some to make their family complete.That would just be Orgasmic.

That's was sexy and hot he was a lucky man. How I would love to join or even meet a special lady. I was jerking off riding my dildo dreaming of the story