All Comments on 'Terrible Company Ch. 01'

It's great to see another of your stories on this site. It's a promising beginning (complete with a bulldozing of the fourth wall). I look forward to more chapters.

This story is my current project. Lit has finally caught up to my primary posting site, so although there are currently two more chapters of this to post, my pace will slow down to match my output level.

I have much to learn

It should be fun

i love this story,i like how its funny,sexual and serious at the same time, its like wow

"Funny, sexual, and serious." Yes, that's our goal. Hopefully, we can continue to deliver it! Thanks so much for commenting!

this seems to be a great story:

- storytelling is good

- sexual scenes are good

- narrotor is genius

keep this going

i'd love to be a character of yours

Wow. Someone succeeding at humor. You don't see that every day.

This story was recommended to me by one of my Lit buddies, and I was delighted by it. You can be sure I will now be passing the word along to others. The dialogue is entertaining and clever, and the whole setup with the narrator was a great way to draw people in to the feel of the story. I'll be checking out your other stuff now, and hope there's more to come on this one. :)

Great stuff!

~Eris Adderly/DeathandTaxes

This is adorable and funny and hot all at the same time. Props to you, author!

@Anon - Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, and we plan to! For quite a while!

@Anon - A surprising number of our characters are based on real people we know, although so heavily obscured that even they wouldn't recognize themselves.

@D&T - We're in shock. Thank you

@Anon - Thank you! Our stuff often incorporates a lot of different tones. It's ALWAYS rewarding to see when readers pick up on the work we put in. Thank you again!

I'm not a fan of giant orcs but this was super entertaining nonetheless. This reads like Pratchett with hardcore sex! Very nice.

i loled

Loved it, but I knew I would.

You did brilliantly at capturing the pratchett style, thank you, it's nice to know his like in writing lives on.

Pratchett was a massive influence on the prose and the pacing. Especially later, when there's more characters and the dialogue is faster.

You made my day by making that comparison. Probably my whole week, and maybe my whole month.

Every time I read this! I'm so grateful. Pratchett with sex, what's not to love? Clever, very clever!

A bit campy for me, but the writing isn't bad and it's short enough that I didn't have to break it off in two reading. I can see this being interesting to teenagers. The work doesn't take itself too seriously and is trying to have fun, which can be better than if the serious stuff isn't good. Fun is always better than trying too hard.

- didn't like how Val knows everything. For me, characters that do offer no expectation of failure

- I found the Narrator an entertaining addition and while I've read plenty of books where someone is writing down the story, I don't know if I've read one where the guy is speaking it as it's happening. I might read part two just to see what he does. It's like a reverse of the Gotrek & Felix novels.

- the swordman and knife throwing has been done to death, so that was a let down.

- not much for pseudo penis' (futinari stuff?) but that's a personal preference.

I'd give you a 4 for my own personal taste, but being objective and trying to see how this was written for the purpose of a small fun tale not to be taken seriously, I'm giving it a 5.

I'm not usually a fan of sword wielding Orcs, but here's an exception.

I simply loved the introduction (and epilogue) by the irritating Narrator, and you literally took us on the journey with Val and Katsa. Now I'm hooked - I have to read the rest of the series - and probably all the others too (when will I ever find time to finish my own work? ;) )

Thanks.

Well done , humour and some hot sex , i especially like the bits with the narrator , i think this going to be a great read

I have, over the years, collected a lot of art (for this story and others). Be sure to check http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=1496319 to see these characters and more!

This is absolutely brilliant! I just finished this series and felt compelled to come back and praise it at the source. This is wickedly funny and surprisingly hot. Also, it’s a finished series, which is more than can be said for so many series on this site. It’s nowhere near the best aspect of this series, but deserves to be mentioned.

I don’t know if anyone reads comments to see what to read next, but if they do, this is it! This is the gem you’re looking for! Just dive in.

This is a great story.

Just discovered this series, can't wait to finish the rest of the chapters!

This is great. Some of the humour reminds me of Terry Pratchett.

Good Gawds that was exciting, hilarious and the sex scene made me very very happy! Wasn’t sure I’d like this series so hadn’t read it before. Very glad I went hunting for something new to read!

All things considered, while there were parts of this that were well done, I didn’t enjoy it.

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From the outset, it was clear that there’s a hint of class to your writing. Some of the interactions between Val and the Narrator were very pleasant, while I thought your world-building skills were, by far, the strongest part of this piece.

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On the flip side, too much of what you’ve written missed the mark. There were quite a few formatting issues, but they bled over into the structure of your document, with the following section being a complete mess in terms of how you laid it out. - "Stop describing me." She said, to no one in particular. "You're being very over-dramatic." "It breaks the fourth wall if you address me directly," the Narrator whined.

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There are also significant problems with your author’s note. Too much of it attempts to justify your choices, which places you squarely on the back foot before I even had the chance to read your opening hook. However, the biggest issue within that section was your use of illustrations. By doing so, you abdicated your responsibility to bring the characters to life through your words alone. Not every author has the ability to do that well, of course, but I’ll come away from this unsure of whether you’ve got the requisite talent to do so. Also, it’s unclear whether your care or not, the formatting of your links is a dog’s breakfast. It’s one of the first things the reader sees on the page, while it creates an impression that such sloppiness will be present throughout.

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On the theme of shortcuts, you rely on the use of italics for emphasis when the quality of your work should be strong enough not to require them. When you consider it alongside your reliance upon illustrations and the short length of the piece, it creates the impression that you simply wanted to blitz through this without investing too much time or effort.

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Additionally, I found the narrative to be a little plodding in the beginning, which isn’t great in such a short story. Also, the immediate shift in tone after the introduction of the Narrator wasn’t ideal. You’ve also got a habit of starting descriptive sentences with either “she” or “her”, which, when overdone in a relevant section, makes your efforts resemble a bad LinkedIn page. I was half expecting to read about Val’s PowerPoint skills and her ability to work under pressure.

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Another issue was the complete lack of chemistry between Val and Katsa. Irrespective of your chosen theme, the dialogue between the two was bereft of anything that could forge a genuine connection. A good example of that was when you wrote – "So that's your clit there?" – which was delivered with no eroticism, whatsoever, and was as jarring to read as anything I’ve come across in a while. When you followed that up with - "How about no more questions right now? – I jotted down that I agreed, and hoped that would put the dialogue out of its misery.

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Meanwhile, the erotic content was fine, but your description of the sounds made during sex were comical and broke whatever little immersion was left. While I began by lauding your class in the beginning, you squandered so much of that by writing your sex scene like an immature male.

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Scoring this is quite difficult because there’s such a huge variance in quality, with moments of class shining through amidst some really terrible writing. The work isn’t arousing, while the characters are boring and have no chemistry. That said, your skill in building a world for them to inhabit was impressive and lifts this up into a territory where I’d be comfortable describing the overall piece as average.

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46/100 - ⭐⭐⭐

It's a shame SN didn't continue. This was my first (and, to date, only) attempt to write satire, humor, and fantasy, and I was admittedly still finding my legs. It took a couple more chapters for me to get a rhythm down and even then some of the later chapters are not to the same consistent level of quality. A few stand out, even now, very fondly in my memory, but I'm proud of where this got me.

As it is, this story is nearly 7 years old at this point. I don't write like this anymore, and the woman who wrote this is a stranger to me to say nothing of the co-writer.

Oh well!