All Comments on 'Father, Forgive Me Ch. 01'

Moooooore!!!!

Continue the story soon please.

This story definitely has potential to be expanded. It's a real good start. Keep writing.

A little short, and you need to break up the parts which are his thoughts from the rest of the story. Otherwise, it's seems like it's switching from first to third person a lot, which is quite jarring. I do like the temptation/guilt struggle.

Very good first story. Can't wait to see where you take it from here.

and is just biding her time? I think the real question is how long she's gonna make him wait, and how much preparation she's given herself for the inevitable encounter

Or, Oh God! Oh God! Oh God! (Who needs church when you can find God at home. :-D )

I liked it. You had good use of words to build tension. You kind of lost me when daddy went from being in the office right after church to thinking back to when his daughter and her friends were playing in the back yard. It was short, but it was a good first chapter. Keep writing.