Short and sweet, just as I like it.
Great story. Told it short and as explicit as it needed to be.
I have a very similar story in a book of shorts. It is one of my favs. But this is just different enough & I like the telling from "your" point of view (the other is from her point of view).
Would you like to get a coffee, dinner then this Friday. How could he let her walk away.
Well someone just got aids...
I thought your story was excellent! Economy of language - not full of tiresome cliches - clever, dynamic buildup. Bravo!
I enjoyed reading this a lot . A good sexy fantasy told well .
First time I read this story and wow its just great! !! Very hot and explicit...I love it well done!!!!!!
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! orBack to Crowded Train orMore submissions by pinkysurprise.
[...]
Edit comment orSubmit Comment
Posting...
Comment posted successfully - click here to view it or write another.
Title of your comment:
Your public comment about Crowded Train:
Please type in the security codeYou may also listen to a recording of the characters.
Preview comment
Title your feedback:
Your feedback to pinkysurprise:
If you would like a response, enter your email address in this box:
Send feedback
Sending...
Feedback sent successfully - click here to write another.
Username:
Password:Forgot your password?
Security code:
Your current user avatar, all sizes:
You have a new user avatar waiting for moderation.
Select new user avatar:
Upload and save Cancel
User avatar uploaded successfuly and waiting for moderation.
Close
Short and sweet, just as I like it.
Wonderful
Great story. Told it short and as explicit as it needed to be.
I have a very similar story in a book of shorts. It is one of my favs. But this is just different enough & I like the telling from "your" point of view (the other is from her point of view).
How about. ...
Would you like to get a coffee, dinner then this Friday. How could he let her walk away.
...
Well someone just got aids...
Surprised at the lukewark reviews . . .
I thought your story was excellent! Economy of language - not full of tiresome cliches - clever, dynamic buildup. Bravo!
Great
I enjoyed reading this a lot . A good sexy fantasy told well .
great story! !! :)
First time I read this story and wow its just great! !! Very hot and explicit...I love it well done!!!!!!
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to Crowded Train or
More submissions by pinkysurprise.