- All
Comments (3) - Add a
Comment - Send
Feedback Send private anonymous feedback to the author (click here to post a public comment instead).
| Literotica Toy Store ADULT TOY & DVD STORE FAST & DISCREET |
Literotica XXX Webcams 24/7 LIVE CAMS - FREE PREVIEW W/AUDIO! |
Literotica Adult Movies STREAMING ADULT MOVIES PAY PER MINUTE |
English
well, that was demeaning....and difficult to read...and nearly impossible to enjoy....
...as it is clear your English is not near as good as your native language.
I would suggest you get a British or American volunteer editor to help you with your writing. If you carefully review their responses, you might learn to better express things in this language. Until then, I'm sad to say, your work will suffer and stories will miss their mark....mainly because they are a lot of work to follow.
As wonderful as languages are, they are subtle things and require considerable effort to master. Until one masters a second or third language, it is best to rely on the assistance of those more expert in expressing things well in that less familiar universe.
It seemed a story at the edge of kinky and fun, but a little demeaning to the girlfriend. Not, in my opinion a LW story.
Good luck.
Degrading and humiliating...
Degrading and humiliating in reverse...Instead of a Bull we have an Old Cow...Instead a humiliated husband we have a girlfriend...No matter what this isn't LW...No wife in it...This should be in fetish...1*
Still interesting
You need to work on writing this type of story in colloquial, everyday, English.
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to It Started As a Fantasy Ch. 02 or
More submissions by Gordon17.