by MindsMirror
Please continue the story. Only a couple of authors are this good. So please continue. One thing though please make it a happy one. 5 stars
Ditto what the first commenter said. Only a few on this site are this good. You have me ready to devour another chapter of this story. Thank you for this.
MORE CHAPTERS PLEASE THEY NEED TO FIND A HAPPY ENDING
Really well thought out and written. A classic example of GSA and totally believable. Please continue the story. I hope it works out for these two.
You have written a great story and I hope that you don't wait too long to capture us with what I hope is a great ending.
Excellent story line, characters, twists, treats (background story / "color") and presentation.
Don't keep us waiting for the next chapters please!
The story is great can't wait for the next installment keep it going.
A wonderful story,well written,please give us more as it just cannot end here.Looking forward to the next installments.
You're a very good story teller. Just the right amount of development and detail. Now I guess I need to read the others that relate to this. If they're as good, it will be a pleasure. Finish this please!
... with all the other complimentary commentators doe this storyline. And look forward,eagerly, for future postings from you.
I really like the thoughtful personalities of your characters
You are a truly gifted writer, that was an amazing and immersive story. Looking forward to when the rest of the family join the story to see how they help the situation, can't wait.
Thanks for such a wonderfully masterful effort. I had to think to myself did this author go to bio school? You put forth a wealth of information to support the plausibility of your characters, Which is just one ingredient of the readers enjoyment. Such well developed emotions connecting with the reader. If any small criticism the wealth of detail begins to feel a bit like overburden. The balance is so close, I found myself speeding through just a few areas. The wonderful balance of slang and correct terms tells me the thesaurus is your favorite tool. I would most assuredly dedicate the time for another lengthy installment such as this. Please embellish the details a little more, this is after all erotic literature and what we who love pieces like this come here in hopes of finding.
Thanks again for the brilliant effort.
the whole story had the hidden mystery of (i'd like to read the last few pages see how it ends) but it kept you enthralled at the youthfulness of the 2 lovers working their way through college seeing life as it was for them but also as though there was a certain closeness between author and characters (just a thought) very well written.wonder where this goes too in the end (being a Romantic hope all ends well.....
I agree with the comments on the story; great story, well told.
However, the editing issues kept getting in the way. Seriously, does any college or university have a statics class? Though instead of through? Parts of a sentence in the middle of another? Very few misspelled words, but quite obvious this wasn't edited by anyone with a good understanding of the English language. I gave you 4 stars, but had to seriously consider something that favorable after the grammar errors.
Statics is a standard mech engr class, so most engineering schools have it in the curricula
On a $14 pizza!!
Apart from that and the overdone so-called squirting (pissing) it was pretty good.
Thank you for a good and pleasing story. Please do continue the tale. Sex with love is so much better than shallow characters going at it with only lust.
I love the depth of characters, and story. I must agree with the editing, or total lack thereof, comments. I find myself dumbfounded that anyone with such good writing skills could be so bad at putting it on paper. countless times there were errors where simple words were repeated for example "she said I love I love you". That's not a direct quote from the story, but an example. I'm not the best reader, so even the best written stories are difficult for me to read seamlessly. When so many obvious and needless editing, or grammar errors are present, it throws me for a loop, forcing me to reread each and every one, until it makes sense to me. I realize that it's my problem, not the authors, but some basic editing skills, or just proof reading it the next day before admitting it for print is often all it would take.
Now, as for the anonymous fool that knows nothing, and bases his truth on said ignorance, female ejaculation is in fact REAL, and is NOT urine. Having said that, statistically something like only 3% of the women on earth will ever experience it even once in their lives. This raises much question as to how 97% of all camgirls now claim to squirt. Of course the answer is obvious. All you ignorant, stupid, egomaniacle sorry excuse for men seem to perpetuate their ability to piss, be it clear or yellow, or preplanted whateverthefuck in the vagina, and still be stupid enough ti not only cheer it on, but in fact (in a room of 100's if not 1,000's of other men) convince yourselves that she is directly responding you only your words (text), even though no self respecting women/girl ever to exist, would tolerate being spoken to with such distaste and vulgarity. If all you cavemen would grow the fuck up, check your ego's at the door, like a gun at the bars in Arizona, study up on the anatomy of the female (and male) body, you may actually find the Moxy to stand up and tell the girls to stop pissing, stop faking their orgasms, (another thing men are completely ignorant about), and force them to give an honest show.
BTW I'm a man, minus the typical male Ego, Ignorance, and selfish bed manners.
OK now, forgive the rant, but sometimes I can't let the ignorance of mankind go unspoken. lmao
Please continue this awesome story, Tony
That certainly hit the spot. Maybe it was just my mood after a busy weekend, but it was just the right tone and voice for a relaxing read.
I'll mirror some of the other commenters in saying there is room for some work, though I won't say you need more 'editing.' I think, and having previously read some of your other posts, that you're style is just evolving and you haven't found that 'sweet spot' yet. A specific example I can point to would be the second last paragraph, which has lots of short sentences, with a lot of the them consisting of, 'I did X.' Staccato sentences like that give a sort of 'fast' pace to writing, where the Tommy is going through a slower, more emotional struggle.
Overall, I really enjoyed this part of the story and am looking forward to the next installment. The fact that you deal with the harder, more deeply emotional issues inherent with (surprise) incest deserves huge kudos as well.
This is right up there with the best that I have ever read on this site. This is as high on my favorites list as the series "It Started in a Cabin".
This story is up there as one of my favourites on this site. I just couldn't put it down.
The sensual style of lovemaking rather than just plain, rough sex was absolutely brilliant. Keep it up!
I found it to be a wonderful story and one of my favorites. I do so hope that you continue it...
This is one of your longer stories that I've read. I read the four previous stories that led up to this one, and enjoyed them all. For whatever reason, I like incest stories better than any of the other categories.
However, you should acquire the most recent version of Microsoft Word that will run on your computer. If you use the Spelling and Grammar Tool it would enable you to avoid some of the errors that I found in this story. I use Word:Mac 2008 because that is the only version that my old MacBook can run. But the Spelling and Grammar Tool has helped me tremendously.
Meanwhile, I must admit that your three couples, Zane and Adam, Kate and Dan, and now Suzan and Tommy are very fully realized characters. I could imagine meeting them and would love to be a friend to all six of them. Congratulations on an excellent start.
One favor that I would ask, is that you consider stories that are longer than two parts under one title. While I enjoyed the four previous stories, I felt that two parts seemed to limit the story development. Perhaps you will add a third part, or more, to this story.
Also, back in the 1980's I worked as a management consultant, and one of my most enjoyable assignments was in Corpus Christi. I stayed at a motel right on the bay, and enjoyed watching the sunrise over the bay on early morning drives to that client's business. So Suzan and Tommy watching the sunrise over Myrtle Beach brought back happy memories of that experience. Thank you for that bonus.
Having read the Adam/Zane stories, I skipped to Tommy/Susan, since I preferred to group the college age stories together. Errors of grammar, punctuation, etc. aside, most of which had no effect on the flow of the story, this is a lovely, heartfelt tale, and I certainly want to see how it turns out. 'Guess I'll go back and read Kate/Dan while I wait.
Back in history, the chiefs, priests and other political types had a valid reason for inventing the concept of "incest", and forbidding it. They saw that it often resulted in malformed or mentally defective offspring, especially among people who already tended in that direction. It can also work the other way, of course, and result in offspring who are physically and/or mentally above average. Nowadays, when having children is more of a choice, people can better gauge the possibilities of that and decide whether children are worth the risk. People may also choose to join lives simply for love, with no intention of having families. It should be a matter of choice among "free" people, not of coercion.
One of the earlier commenters inadvertently misspelled 'egomaniacal'. I read it as 'ego manacle'. THAT would be an excellent starting point for a story. I am myself a stickler for spelling and grammar generally, but I cut a lot of slack for the talented authors here, mostly not professional, and their editors, also not professionals, who freely give us the fruits of their considerable effort and inspiration. Let's recall that nobody's being paid or is paying. The criticisms I often see here are too often the petty one-up-man-ships of a beginner's writer's workshop, where the important thing really is character development, plot, and writing style (hopefully). Mechanics is good, of course, but is secondary to those important aspects of writing good fiction.
That being said, I have a quirky sort of mind that finds off-the-wall tangents from the weirdest little odd wordings, typos, or spell check accidents. Tangents that could break the usual formulaic approaches that many take. If only I had one tenth the writing talent that the author of this story and an extraordinary number of the contributors to this site do exhibit.
Good story. We'll written, the personal account and dialect was pretty good. I really feel bad for the couple since you did a great job of letting us get to know them a little bit and bond with them. I really hope that with the sequel, things work out. They seemed so happy and it would be so real world-ish to have that dashed away. But alas I am not the author, they really are yours to to as you will.
Literally made me soaking wet and my boyfriend Is gona benefit outta it.. Next part soon please
Thanks so much for the unexpected surge of comments and critiques. We are not planning to leave users hanging and are working on several continuations. Click on our user to see our profile with current priorities.
I never thought I would see a reference to Kubler-Ross in an Erotica story, but I have been wrong at other times in my life, too. Well structured and plotted - hope to see the sequel soon!
it was an awesome story. can't wait for the next part. please continue with this.
Was a great story and can't wait for the contInuation. great work keep it up.
Wow. After reading the first page on. I completely forgot that i was reading an incest story. Then around page 5 I wondered where the incest would come into play and finally found out about his dad and aunt. They last 2 pages left me absolutely shocked and genuinely impressed how this story progressed. Loved this and can't wait to see what happens next
While I was enjoying the story I found the actual sex scenes to be very forced and repetitive with word usage being a bit one noted. Characterization was pretty well done as well as the more technical aspects.
This is the first time I have ever wanted to skip over the sexual parts of a story and just read the rest. I hope that this improves in any sequels.
PS try and find a good editor as there was a couple rough spots when it came to repeating words or parts of phrases.
I was wondering where the incest part was going to come in and then the lab work came up and I thought - ah DNA - they are related. Keep going and make sure they live happily ever after.
Amazing story, you simply have to continue this story for a long time.
Interesting, Factual, A little gushy but a fine story. Continue the story.
could of got to point a bit quicker,thought didn't need half the stuff & a bit unbelievable she was sucking his dick and he stopped her and made her wait months & months to fuck her
MORE, PLEASE! I never comment here, just leach, but the quality of this deserved a change in that behavior. The build of the story is amazingly believable. The foreshadowing by the category adds to the suspense... The characters feel real and raw.
-LS in Ohio
I am sure there are more corners for us to turn
and
closets to open
One question: how long do we have to wait for the next chapter? Yours are great stories and sensual. There are a small number of grammar issues: i.e. role v. roll; its v. it's, but overall great reads and I'm so grateful that you've chosen to share with us. Thank you for the great sexual prose!
I am hooked...waiting for what happens...please continue this!!!!!!
I, like the others, hope you don't wait to long to continue.
This story is so beautiful and really tugs at the heartstrings. I want them to be together!
OMG MM, you can't leave us hanging like this! I laughed, cried, came. Love these characters, make a happy ending please.
Hey, thanks for this. It's a lovely, gentle story that I don't see enough of. Please add to it when you get the chance!
Very romantic story with just the right amount of sex. The surprise at the end blew me away... Hope it works out for them.
A well written love story, much more compelling and better written than most if not all of the other stories on this site. More please!
It was mind blowingly amazing!!!!(<-- i think that made sense right?) I enjoyed reading it and was very aroused....infact i think i even came once or twice! I cried a little in the end. That was like the ultimate cliff-hanger ending.... Like will they continue their lives with each other or not? Please continue this and give Tommy and Suzan a happy, love-filled relationship. It was truly magnificent! 👌😍❤😘
This was one of the better stories on here! Don't leave us hanging!
What a truly excellent story... One in which the sex was complimentary and not central to it. A+
From the beginning, I realized I wanted to read the story and come back for the sex parts later. Please give us more of the quality.
Absolutely brilliant, as others have said, you can easily skip the sex still and have a great and touching romance.
Not continuing this one would be a fallacy.
The story has been edited further and tweaked in several places. They should be live in a few days. Thanks again for all the feedback. It really helps. We are working on continuting these stories. -MM
A great romantic story, I had to read every word and in one sitting. I'll likely reread it again, just because. I hope you continue on!
Oh my god you cannot keep us waiting for the rest if these linked stories.My wife,and I have never been so engrossed in anything this good before.Please,Please finish them with happy endings.There is so much horror in our worlds we need to see love out.PLEASE
Great stories, and after reading all of the related ones in the series, all I can say is "I WANT MORE"!! PLEASE! One of the BEST Romantic Incest Stories online and it needs a finish desperately!
What a cliffhanger! I never even saw that coming. Throughout reading the story periodically I thought about the title an knew their would be some hidden secret revealed. This series is in the top two of the multiude of stories that I have read. Your have three fantastic stories which are interwoven. I hope that you continue all three for many chapters.
Please continue the story. Much appreciated!
This is an excellent story, I definitely want an ending (hopefully a happy one).
Your other sibling stories have been well resolved, so continue on.
Thank you
This story needs a conclusion. So many people leave their story like this and sometimes I wish I never started the story.. Help me!!!!!!
Keith
Kwrendrag@aol.com
How dare you drawl me in soo deeply and then leave me hanging like a broken twig. Your writting is great and you really know how to intrigue the reader, but you also know how to leave us feeling cheated by not finishing the story. Mann I almost lost it when there was no ending. FINISH ALREADY!!!!!!
A great story with such depth! I can't wait to read the next chapter!
Thank you!
There was no indication that this story was going to be multi part. I stayed up late to finish this only to find "to be continued...". Please indicate multi part stories. This has soured me on reading any further of your stories.
This is the best series of stories I've ever read on here. I just want, no need, more !
Just what happens next, both to Tommy and Suzan, plus the others ?
Don't leave it too long before you tell us, please !
You really are one incredible story teller !
Thanks.
Uh, is there more coming? I hope so, I am enjoying the context especially being adopted. Although the likely hood of running into a family member is so remote in my case since I was born in another country.
Yes, we are working on the continuation of this story and the other linked stories. We're finishing chapter 4 of Page and will be refocusing on these. Thanks for all the feedback.
I have read my fair amount of stories on this sight, and I have five stared a fair few, however this just can't even be counted on that same scale. Absolute 10/5. Great story. I absolutely implore you to give this incredible story and ending.
But for now thank you for the amazing work, please keep at it, amazing writing *****
One of the few i coment on, would really lobe to know how it ends, any plans to continue it??
A magnificent trilogy. It's a pity I cannot give your wonderful stories more than a 5, otherwise it would get a 20 from me.
The subtlety, depth, compassion, love and heat of these related stories has been an amazing gift to your readers, Never have I enjoyed a story more (and I read a lot) or cared so deeply about the lives of characters. Wishing them all the lasting happiness their dear sweet hearts and spirits deserve!
You are a brilliant writing team, Thank You, Thank You, Thank You !!!!!!!!!!!
You really need to continue this story ... please!
Thanks.
This is a wonderful plot!
A story well thought and written. Please add more chapters quickly