- All
Comments (6) - Add a
Comment - Send
Feedback Send private anonymous feedback to the author (click here to post a public comment instead).
| Literotica Toy Store ADULT TOY & DVD STORE FAST & DISCREET |
Literotica XXX Webcams 24/7 LIVE CAMS - FREE PREVIEW W/AUDIO! |
Literotica Adult Movies STREAMING ADULT MOVIES PAY PER MINUTE |
English
wow
I have now read several of your stories, and apart from some minor spelling and grammatical errors they are perfect. Other people obsess over minor errors, I feel as long as it is a well conceived story that is what matters. Look forward to reading more of your work.
I'll give you one thing.
You sure are prolific. Not good. But you sure spew out the trash.
Great job.
Except for the slightest error here and there, you have a very well done writing, personally I believe. it requires a sequel and start of a series.
Well done.
Enjoyed it
I enjoyed the story. Personally, I would have liked a little oral sex as well, but that's a matter of personal taste. The only thing I will say is that I believe you should lose the word "ravish". I don't believe I've ever actually heard someone really use it.
boring
Almost felt asleep.
Fell asleep dear annony that's what we do when we read your broning comments.
You sound like a broken record or a parrot. gave this a 5 for your effort and because you made dear annony cry.
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to Cheerleader Spoils or
More submissions by Ashson.