Honestly Anonymous, I'd thought I'd laid out who the characters where in the first seven chapters but I do accept that there is more to learn. Isn't that the pleasure of reading/writing... finding out as you go along? Characters and stories evolve as you write them and as sometimes, as we both know, the anonymity of people lends a certain frisson to proceedings. Perhaps a touch more personality would help but that's not the way this story is going for me. I've been called out in the past for too much back story so I tried something different this time. Obviously not to well.
Point taken and I thank you for commenting. Hopefully I can improve.
Love this story hopefully her ex or his doesn't come back in the picture an ruin it.As for previous comment I like how the story going and cant wait for the next chapter.
by
Anonymous05/05/15
Fan-fucking-tastic
Sure there could be some editing, but I only noticed a few words and that's just because I look for that stuff. As for the one comment, I believe the story is progressing very well and that their sexual activities parallel with their blossoming relationship (but everyone is entitled to their opinions). Not everyone waits, and not everyone jumps right in. You're doing great with this story! Can't wait for the next chapter. If I had to make a suggestion, I would want longer chapters. I'll take what I can get though!
English
Too much in the face
Start with a story first and then ease into the sex. How about their life and so on?
Author
Really?
Honestly Anonymous, I'd thought I'd laid out who the characters where in the first seven chapters but I do accept that there is more to learn. Isn't that the pleasure of reading/writing... finding out as you go along? Characters and stories evolve as you write them and as sometimes, as we both know, the anonymity of people lends a certain frisson to proceedings. Perhaps a touch more personality would help but that's not the way this story is going for me. I've been called out in the past for too much back story so I tried something different this time. Obviously not to well.
Point taken and I thank you for commenting. Hopefully I can improve.
Cate
love it
Love this story hopefully her ex or his doesn't come back in the picture an ruin it.As for previous comment I like how the story going and cant wait for the next chapter.
Fan-fucking-tastic
Sure there could be some editing, but I only noticed a few words and that's just because I look for that stuff. As for the one comment, I believe the story is progressing very well and that their sexual activities parallel with their blossoming relationship (but everyone is entitled to their opinions). Not everyone waits, and not everyone jumps right in. You're doing great with this story! Can't wait for the next chapter. If I had to make a suggestion, I would want longer chapters. I'll take what I can get though!
i love this story so far
I love this story so far, and i'd love to see sammy and jake on a perfect romantic date with a hot night to follow up
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