This is another stupid plot about a town with no police!!! It was enough she go there, present a complain...The "king cock" Jason would have his short life destroyed...He raped the teacher, and the teacher was the one to be suspended!!! And what about her fiancee? will he keep calm and will not take action against the new All-American hero? The worst of the story? this stupid saying: "Everywhere he looked, he saw people saying what a wonderful fucking thing he had done."...Maybe he will receive a medal from President Obama!!! Maybe he will be found dead inside a trash can with his "king cock" in his throat? 1*
Jason demonstrates the emotional maturity of a 13 year old. Are you sure you should be writing on this site?
by
Anonymous05/07/15
Reads like a game report in a highschool newspaper.....
....just observational, not personal. It also feels stilted and rough.
I hope you will take more time in future, to develop your characters into people. In this, they may as well be mannequins.
I get the "He's Hot for Teacher"-esque theme. And Van Halen would be pleased that he got her. But wooden writing makes for a brusque and uncaring read. We have to like at least one of the characters to make the story more personal to us, and therefore more believable. The telling of this story leaves us cold....so misses the mark.
by
Anonymous05/07/15
Just too much cliche', contrivance, and juvenile perspective.
So Sharon is an incredibly beautiful adult, used to dealing with constant male attention and approaches, but just really naive and stupid, can't control her drinking, and loses all sense of propriety and self-respect when she gets drunk. But not too drunk to recognize a dance song, but drunk enough to suggest a dance while alone with a male in a hotel room. And they are serving alcohol at a school function, for high school students. And Sharon is sitting and associating not with her fellow teachers, but spends the evening dancing with the students, a prom, but apparently Jason has no prom date?
This reads like some young boys fantasy. A young boy who has no experience with women, or with life in general. And who thinks people who read these stories have an equal juvenile mentality. You need to grow up and learn what it is to be an adult before you try to write fiction about adults having sex. You make yourself look ridiculous.
The story as a whole left much to be desired. It seems Mr. Casanova is always well positioned to ravage the innocence of his fiancee. He puts all his energy, mental and physical to reach this eventuality. Then the story goes down the toilet. The adulation heaped on the rapist as if he was a hero can not be understood. And this part of the story should be re-written completely so that the writers that originally started the sexual assault should be outed and punished appropriately. A small bit of advice: You have your audience at the beginning of your story and the end of the story if you don't take full opportunity at these periods you will be sunk
by
Anonymous05/08/15
Sucked
Should be in nonconsent. Written by a high school kid with dreams of being the cool kid in school.
If you are going to criticise, do so constructively as these comments were the most useful. If you think I have wasted your time, save yourself some in future, and either don't waste time on comments, just score it lowly or in future, if and when I have other stories, don't read them.
Couple of pointers - the story is based in UK, 18 year olds can drink there. Most proms in UK are not based at the school, but at hotels away from the school and the teachers are invited as guests not chaperones. The idea is around a mistaken drunken fuck (LW) not rape (NC).
All of them, every single one, are based on conscious decisions to drink or do drugs. There are no mistakes just very very bad decisions (or good decisions if you want to to fuck around).
I tire of "It was a mistake," "I never wanted to hurt you," "It was only sex," and "I love you with all of my heart." Of course those are the fuel that drives Loving Wives but they are so much crap.
by
Anonymous05/09/15
yawn
learn to. Write complete. Sentences before. You try writing. Anything else dork.
by
Anonymous05/12/15
Someone Find This Cocksucker...
...and slit him open from his teeny little dick to his chin!
by
Anonymous07/11/15
YEAPPP , NO MORE COMMENTS IN THE FUTURE , JUST ONE STAR AND POP GOES THE WEASEL::::
*
by
Anonymous07/12/15
Those Annoy who write sick comments are something else
To bad we have so many sick critics who could never put two sentences together . But have a lot of nothing decent to say.
by
Anonymous07/16/15
THAT'S why you should never wait to have sex
before marriage. She just got too horny for her own good. Hope there is another chapter. BTB!!!!!!!!
by
Anonymous07/31/15
Wow, what a load of crap this is...
Not only is the writing atrocious, but the so-called plot has more holes than a slice of Swiss cheese, and to top it off...there's no end. I really believe the person who penned this piece of crap needs to go back to school. Start at the third grade again and work your way up. Then, in another nine years, come back and try again.
English
Yes,
Jason is one All-American man we all look up to and wish to emulate. Good for you, Jason.
not sure if this story could be any more lame
probably not :\
We have a new champion...
... in the category "most dumb stories".
The author should be sentenced to prison for writing such nonsense.
Stupid plot...
This is another stupid plot about a town with no police!!! It was enough she go there, present a complain...The "king cock" Jason would have his short life destroyed...He raped the teacher, and the teacher was the one to be suspended!!! And what about her fiancee? will he keep calm and will not take action against the new All-American hero? The worst of the story? this stupid saying: "Everywhere he looked, he saw people saying what a wonderful fucking thing he had done."...Maybe he will receive a medal from President Obama!!! Maybe he will be found dead inside a trash can with his "king cock" in his throat? 1*
Adolescent fantasy
Sharon's Last Prom = Alihomeygrass' last story? We can only hope! 1*
Pretty good first submission.
I'd like a second Chapter where King Cock meets Scot swimmer.
Not Loving Wives story
So why is it here -- does anyone monitor these things?
crap
What a load of shit I'm just a silly by wasting my time making a comment
Great
I actually really liked the story. I'd be happy to see more from the author, either a sequel about him or her, or even something new. Thanks!
How old are you?
Jason demonstrates the emotional maturity of a 13 year old. Are you sure you should be writing on this site?
Reads like a game report in a highschool newspaper.....
....just observational, not personal. It also feels stilted and rough.
I hope you will take more time in future, to develop your characters into people. In this, they may as well be mannequins.
I get the "He's Hot for Teacher"-esque theme. And Van Halen would be pleased that he got her. But wooden writing makes for a brusque and uncaring read. We have to like at least one of the characters to make the story more personal to us, and therefore more believable. The telling of this story leaves us cold....so misses the mark.
Just too much cliche', contrivance, and juvenile perspective.
So Sharon is an incredibly beautiful adult, used to dealing with constant male attention and approaches, but just really naive and stupid, can't control her drinking, and loses all sense of propriety and self-respect when she gets drunk. But not too drunk to recognize a dance song, but drunk enough to suggest a dance while alone with a male in a hotel room. And they are serving alcohol at a school function, for high school students. And Sharon is sitting and associating not with her fellow teachers, but spends the evening dancing with the students, a prom, but apparently Jason has no prom date?
This reads like some young boys fantasy. A young boy who has no experience with women, or with life in general. And who thinks people who read these stories have an equal juvenile mentality. You need to grow up and learn what it is to be an adult before you try to write fiction about adults having sex. You make yourself look ridiculous.
Life is strange...
The story as a whole left much to be desired. It seems Mr. Casanova is always well positioned to ravage the innocence of his fiancee. He puts all his energy, mental and physical to reach this eventuality. Then the story goes down the toilet. The adulation heaped on the rapist as if he was a hero can not be understood. And this part of the story should be re-written completely so that the writers that originally started the sexual assault should be outed and punished appropriately. A small bit of advice: You have your audience at the beginning of your story and the end of the story if you don't take full opportunity at these periods you will be sunk
Sucked
Should be in nonconsent. Written by a high school kid with dreams of being the cool kid in school.
Thanks for your comments
Thank you for your many comments.
If you are going to criticise, do so constructively as these comments were the most useful. If you think I have wasted your time, save yourself some in future, and either don't waste time on comments, just score it lowly or in future, if and when I have other stories, don't read them.
Couple of pointers - the story is based in UK, 18 year olds can drink there. Most proms in UK are not based at the school, but at hotels away from the school and the teachers are invited as guests not chaperones. The idea is around a mistaken drunken fuck (LW) not rape (NC).
There are no "mistaken drunk fucks"
All of them, every single one, are based on conscious decisions to drink or do drugs. There are no mistakes just very very bad decisions (or good decisions if you want to to fuck around).
I tire of "It was a mistake," "I never wanted to hurt you," "It was only sex," and "I love you with all of my heart." Of course those are the fuel that drives Loving Wives but they are so much crap.
yawn
learn to. Write complete. Sentences before. You try writing. Anything else dork.
Someone Find This Cocksucker...
...and slit him open from his teeny little dick to his chin!
YEAPPP , NO MORE COMMENTS IN THE FUTURE , JUST ONE STAR AND POP GOES THE WEASEL::::
*
Those Annoy who write sick comments are something else
To bad we have so many sick critics who could never put two sentences together . But have a lot of nothing decent to say.
THAT'S why you should never wait to have sex
before marriage. She just got too horny for her own good. Hope there is another chapter. BTB!!!!!!!!
Wow, what a load of crap this is...
Not only is the writing atrocious, but the so-called plot has more holes than a slice of Swiss cheese, and to top it off...there's no end. I really believe the person who penned this piece of crap needs to go back to school. Start at the third grade again and work your way up. Then, in another nine years, come back and try again.
Hate to say this
But reading this was like listening to Sgt Friday from Dragnet that is how flat and lifeless it is.
I didn't know
That shit could be piled this deep. Pathetic cunt.
your cum mouth got pilled deeper and higher dear annony.
Damn I wished your ex wife took pictures of you sucking cocks and being fucked in the ass. I'd love to post them on here
If there is any justice in the world, NO.
The cheating cunt can try to clean up her act, maybe transfer schools, but if the fiance is even a quarter of a man, he is fucking done with her!
Sex shame teacher
This sounds so much like a teacher who slept with student at prom and tried to say that she was raped. And yet her sap fiance still married her.
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