Punctuation. Quotation marks indicate speech. Make friends with them. If you want to write stuff, do it properly. Mel always says, "It will serve you in good stead your whole life."
by
Anonymous01/07/16
So damn HOT - arousing and please write another chapter :) Now they have to go further; she should let him blow his load between her big boobs etc. Let her feel how hot his cum is on her skin. She gets just as aroused as he does, they can share their feeling more so and get off together in a new way. Maybe, eventually she'll jerk or suck him off ?? Thanks.
A writer you are not. You should get some editorial assistance or, perhaps, simply give up writing. Left to your own devices, you are somewhat dangerous in your attempts to tell a story. *
by
Anonymous01/07/16
100% agree with 1smokeeater
Awful Please take a class or something before you post another story. The premise for this one wasn't bad but the writing sucked
Emma is Joanne's sister But isn't she yours ?
at very least she's your step-sister
And really!
I have another episode with Joanne, her sister Emma's dirty panties and my step mother masturbating.
Then from out of nowhere comes
Whilst I was typing this story I was sniffing a pair of my brothers daughters knickers
by
Anonymous01/07/16
Fun story
Many guys have sniffed sis panties. Many times sis knows and leaves present for brother to jo. They get a thrill knowing what brother does.
by
Anonymous01/08/16
I agree with the fan who wrote "fun story"
"Many guys have sniffed sis's panties. Many times sis knows and leaves a present for brother to jo. They get a thrill knowing what brother does." And probably even more boys have sniffed their mother's panties, and mom knows and leaves a really nice gift for her darling son. A pair of panties fragrant with his own mother's pussy smell, sharp and musky. So the kid takes the panties to his room, plasters them to his face, and jerks off. Mom's thrilled knowing her boy''s blowing his balls and shooting his semen all over his chest and stomach, thinking about his own mother's cunt.
Your 5th grade English teacher should be ashamed for passing you. Just absolutely horrible grammar and spelling..
by
Anonymous01/08/16
grammar
The horrible grammar is really distracting.
by
Anonymous01/08/16
got to admire perserverance
He's been posting here for 14 years and never got a decent rating, reminds me of Edison who once said "well, l now know 9999 ways how NOT to make a light bulb"
English
Learn them, know them...
Punctuation. Quotation marks indicate speech. Make friends with them. If you want to write stuff, do it properly. Mel always says, "It will serve you in good stead your whole life."
So damn HOT - arousing and please write another chapter :) Now they have to go further; she should let him blow his load between her big boobs etc. Let her feel how hot his cum is on her skin. She gets just as aroused as he does, they can share their feeling more so and get off together in a new way. Maybe, eventually she'll jerk or suck him off ?? Thanks.
Awful
Please take a class or something before you post another story. The premise for this one wasn't bad but the writing sucked.
Sir…
A writer you are not. You should get some editorial assistance or, perhaps, simply give up writing. Left to your own devices, you are somewhat dangerous in your attempts to tell a story. *
100% agree with 1smokeeater
Awful Please take a class or something before you post another story. The premise for this one wasn't bad but the writing sucked
Emma is Joanne's sister But isn't she yours ?
at very least she's your step-sister
And really!
I have another episode with Joanne, her sister Emma's dirty panties and my step mother masturbating.
Then from out of nowhere comes
Whilst I was typing this story I was sniffing a pair of my brothers daughters knickers
Fun story
Many guys have sniffed sis panties. Many times sis knows and leaves present for brother to jo. They get a thrill knowing what brother does.
I agree with the fan who wrote "fun story"
"Many guys have sniffed sis's panties. Many times sis knows and leaves a present for brother to jo. They get a thrill knowing what brother does." And probably even more boys have sniffed their mother's panties, and mom knows and leaves a really nice gift for her darling son. A pair of panties fragrant with his own mother's pussy smell, sharp and musky. So the kid takes the panties to his room, plasters them to his face, and jerks off. Mom's thrilled knowing her boy''s blowing his balls and shooting his semen all over his chest and stomach, thinking about his own mother's cunt.
Horrible writing
Your 5th grade English teacher should be ashamed for passing you. Just absolutely horrible grammar and spelling..
grammar
The horrible grammar is really distracting.
got to admire perserverance
He's been posting here for 14 years and never got a decent rating, reminds me of Edison who once said "well, l now know 9999 ways how NOT to make a light bulb"
This got me soooo wet
I don't care about spelling and grammar too much, I just love filthy stories and this one hit the spot for me
Why Do You Bother?
Your "writing" is 100% unreadable.
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