All Comments on 'When'

Pile of shit.

She's a manipulative whore, with almost zero respect for his feelings, and hes just going to take it as she's "pretty".

Thanks for sharing.

Not that romantic or erotic but different to the norm and worthwhile.

Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope... This was weird...

Yeah, this guy is going to end up miserable, he knows it and he knows why. Why would he give in on this? Thank you for posting, but the ending needs extensive revamping/expansion to explain why he would just toss his integrity like that.

and Que Sera Sera. and it already did. TK U MLJ LV NV

The positive - it's very well-written.

The negative - everything else. I can accept that, as a shy virgin nerd, he knows nothing much about girls. However, he knows enough to not accept the fact that she is dating others whilst supposedly his "girlfriend." So why on earth would he compromise his values when he KNOWS that she has no redeeming values? Being smoking hot is no excuse for behaving this badly. You don't "test" this kind of guy - it destroys them.

I enjoyed the writing in your first story - Crime and punishment. Until the ending when you failed to deliver your hero from the claws of his cheating, manipulative wife (as you promised). In this story, which was also well written, once again you fail to save Greg from a manipulative slut. Greg knows. He knows beyond any doubt that she is a slut. She admits as much. She uses her friends (Kelly and Jerry) to push him in the direction she wants him to go. But other than a few lines of poetry we never really know or understand why she loves him and wants to marry him. And "In the end" Patty succeeds in her manipulations and he agrees to marry her. Why? Why would he marry someone he sees right thru? Why would he fold under her pressure? I believe you never answered those questions satisfactorily and that's why I didn't like this story. And I think that's why it has gotten such a poor score. Just an opinion. Keep writing. But next time? Save the man.

It's like setting up a Perils of Pauline cliffhanger, leaving the heroine dangling and then saying, "Tough luck but I really don't have anything else to add." This is less than an unfinished story.

that you gave the guy no balls. he is right and knows it. marrying a scheming whore is never a good thing.

I hate it when a writer does not have the guts to finish a story.

WHY THE FUCK BOTHER?????

Finish the damn story

Not every Romance or Loving Wives story needs an ending where every question is answered. There is no requirement that you find a bitch to burn or a heart-warming happy ending.

For anyone who's been at all lucky in his/her life, there has been a time when a possibility lies before you like that facing the doubtful Greg or the hopeful Patti-Ann.

The reality is that, even when there is a happy ending, that vibrant, shimmering future

fades as real life comes along.

You are an very good writer and this is an very good story. This story, as it is, leaves that possibility open forever, and you can't be more romantic than that.

We already know where this is going if there is another chapter.

She will slut around on him and he will grudgingly accept it.

It was written by RG after all.

This was well-written, the characters interesting. I'm waiting for her to tell him she's pregnant, (by someone else) since it's obvious why she was in such a hurry to get married.

Had she wanted to NOT have sex with him or anyone ELSE, I can understand why he'd keep dating her. But she's a slut for others, but not for the sucker she wants to marry ? He doesn't need a slut, he needs therapy.

Plenty of people can choose to wait to have sex. But she was the worst kind of hypocrite, a spoiled, manipulative p.o.s. Did he have no male mentors in his life (brother, uncle, father, friend) to tell him to run like hell ?

Like all of your writing, I liked it. You write very well. HOWEVER, I always hate your endings. Every guy is a wimp who gives in to a complete whore. I prefer stories with a main character who actually has some character - and some self respect. Sorry, I love your writing, but hate your endings.

I agree with other comments. Your men in your stories are WIMPS! They ride their morals right up to the point of..."what the hell I need a slut to marry so she can take half of everything I own." Really ruins a decent story. Time to change, don't you think?

great writing as usual.

Story wise. am uncertain.

I can see a party girl changing for love.

But one that kept screwing around for 18 months while dating him and no sex for him?

something is very very wrong with that picture

I really enjoy your written word. Great dialogue. All characters, male and female, have an individuality that is realistic and interesting. Gave you 4*s for this story. It was so creative, it should stand alone.

Please don't ruin this. In the Loving Wife section you tend to change the personality of your protagonist . In one story he changes one- hundred and eighty degrees . So please,don't do it. No sequel here. Don't ruin Mr. Shelley.

Thank you very much, I eagerly await your next post as

AMerryMan

Pretty whores just charge more.

liked how you gave the main character a backbone... now will she be a literotica loving wife or a real loving wife? 4 star

Way I see it you've only established the premise for what REALLY is the story...

Good job so far. Will reserve rating till the rest gets posted.

Way I see it he was doing fine before he got done in by poetry!

She was always attracted to and continued fucking buff types BUT thought it would be NOVEL to save herself for someone else's wedding night?

That's deep!!!

Richard I have just finished reading 'When'. I really like your stories. You have a serious writing talent that sets you way apart from many of the rather two dimensional authors on Literotica. Much as I would like to know what happened next and even see some of the unexplained, explained, I believe you add both mystery and depth and stir our imaginations by leaving us readers to work things out for ourselves. Hope to see something else from you soon. Perhaps of the order of Jailbreaking and On the Lam which is classic. Thank you for your stories and looking forward to the next one(s). Jack

Till you petered out, too bad,

you had a good start.......bill.

All ones for being lazy. ....

A slut whore by any other name is still a slut whore!

he almost held out long enough to be free of her. I can only expect the eventual heartbreaks he feared.

He's doomed to exactly what he expected.

No, we never get to understand fully the WHY he should have done the 180 and go against his instincts to propose and then marry her. Perhaps it WAS better that you left the status of their future unwritten, since whatever was to be detracts from the actual theme of another unlikely hot girl/nerd in love pairing. Now, two things:

1) Was he able to get any more than some lines of poetry to convince HIM of her love? But more than that, was he finally able to get her to TRUELY understand his concerns for the future and get anymore than just assurances that she was ready to be faithful? What if the sex between her and our narrator isn't what she is used to? How can we be sure that she WON'T go looking for alternatives down the road? Maybe an iron-clad pre-nup ISN'T the most romantic of notions, but it might have helped your readers to understand that they were taking some precautions.....

2) I kept waiting for him to call her out for being the nervy game-playing bitch she was. What if HE didn't want to stay a virgin? What if he didn't share her vision of the wedding night? What if he would never be sure of their future in marriage without first testing the sexual compatability and chemistry? What if he said something like "put out or get out!"? Even if he found the appropiate romantically poetic passage to describe this, how would she have reacted to THIS type of ultimatum? If it would have destroyed their chances at having a happy marriage and future together for him to assert this type of masculine perogative, then it(the marriage) was probably doomed anyway.

While stories that remain blessedly brief can be a joy to read, a second chapter isn't always the answer. It is identifying the MAJOR scenes, and filling THOSE moments to the brim, while also knowing what frivolous scenes to leave out, that properly met out the pacing. Pacing has seemed to be your biggest issue as an author. That said, you do have one or two tales where the pacing is just about right. I think you need to have others rereading your stuff before submission, and asking them feedback questions, and perhaps some of this can be corrected in the final drafts. Either way, I'm sorry I missed this earlier, but was glad to find it. Thanks for your contributions, and will keep looking forward to more from you.

:)

which cause the most pain I think he'll know. TK U MLJ LV NV

She supposedly LOVES him, she’s definitely not a virgin, yet she won’t have sex with him?

And what ended up happening? Did they live "happily ever after", or did she eventually seek out her "type"?

I remember a line by Greg Norman "Never mind the free sample, lets have the real stuff"

With respect to the build up, which I'll admit was good, the ending was a damp squib!

Everyone seems to expect the worse, but I'm about to reach our 37th anniversary with a playboy bunny. The difference though, is we were exclusive from day one; and I knew I would have to fight for her from the get go. Greg will have to as well, because even if she loves him, she's going to be hit on constantly. If he isn't always on his guard, some smooth talking bastard might catch her when she's depressed or angry or just let her guard down, relaxing with friends. It won't be easy, but boy, was it ever worth it!

After talking all that smack, he marries her anyway. With her knowing exactly how he really feels about her; she will probably giving p...y out of both draw legs in no time.

Unfinished

Interesting premise. Given this author's female characters in his other stories, it is all too easy to predict gloom and doom for this husband. At least she is not named Doris.

Dreadful ending to an interesting story. Marrying her went against all logic. She loved him so much that she would not sleep with him, only the jocks on campus. Laughable.

fucking SHIT.

he is a pussy-whipped IDIOT and she is a SLUT.

why she would fuck others but not him? On another note an interesting followup would have her end up cheating on him to prove his suspicions correct.

My only problem is her refusal to have sex with him.

She has casual sex, but she won't have sex with the man she LOVES?

Wow this story is very creative. I enjoy your stories for your imagination and creativity. BUT as another comment stated your men are very wimplike. This guy had the right idea from the get-go about not marrying her. Let's see, no sex for the man she supposedly loves, but sex with the jocks is OK. This does not compute with me. It shows what kind of person she is . This guy is in for q lot of heartache and pain in the future. Thanks for the story.

for the typical cuck-a-doodle-do story, maybe an auto-bio, how can he even think to pleasse a nigger fucking, dick sucking bitch

Please tell the tale. Otherwise, either someone else will tell a different story, or worse, this story will never be told.

has a dark vision of things (see, e.g., Her Itch). But he's very talented, and in this one he allows us a measure, if only a slim one, of hope.

I loved this.

Gave it a five!

to get married to the campus slut

Although there was very little romance to be seen. It seemed like a self centered little girl making up her mind and throwing a tantrum when she didn't get her way. While it's clear the reasons he would love her, the opposite was shrouded in the haze. And I'm still very unclear as to why she wouldn't make love to him? What point is there in him being a virgin when they get married? What happens if he (Gasp!) has a little dick that could never satisfy her? An annulment? That seemed an odd position for her to take considering the disastrous outcome of being incompatible in bed. And suggesting that one of the greatest romantic poets in history was unreliable gave me a good laugh. To shamelessly quote the Master - "There is no instinct like that of the heart". Would that Gregory and Patty-Ann live happily ever after. Unless, of course, you decide to stick a fork in them like you did to Pat in Crime and Punishment. He was swallowed whole by his slut wife even after you promised to rescue him. Either leave this tale alone or let Greg escape unscathed.

While the stories you generally write are not my cup of tea, I liked this premise more than many of the other readers. Thanks for sharing

To the Doubters: Does the story set up a potential problem for the guy in the future? Yes, she might cheat.but it is not like he isn't aware of the issue or that he hasn't explained his concerns about trust to her, in case he needs a trump card.

I think it reasonable to go alone with the wedding. Best case it works as he wants, if not he gets a girl out of his league for x-number of years of good sex & love and then moves on. He can't be blindsided in this case, so he just has to be careful. Not like he has another girl he likes who hanging in the wings as a "safe" option with less risk. He likes this one. Take a chance.

To love and lose is better than to not have loved at all.

Thanks for a story that has characters at it's heart; not a framework for exaggerated descriptions of sexual prowess. As a reader it is a rare treat to find an author who takes the time to develop and present a story which depends as heavily on emotion as on description. I would like to see you use your abilities to further develop your characters and create a longer read, my personal ideal is 3 or 4 Literotica pages either as a stand alone story or as part of a serialised offering. Thank you for taking the time and trouble to submit stories and I hope you continue to do so.

I'd like to read the sequel, where she gets gangbanged while hubby is out of town.

She will be humping the high school football team by the time the first game is played. I will make this simple...If I know my girlfriend is fucking other men while dating, but not fucking me, there is simply no way in Hell that I will continue to date her. Pussy for them but no pussy for me means Go to Hell, Bitch. And there isn't a woman on this planet that is beautiful enough to make me change my mind.

It was well written until the end, It was always all about her, and he saw it for what it was. For her to trot her twat all over campus and decide he was to be a virgin on their wedding night was pure romantic crap. Suddenly at the end he lost his brains, I don't think so. Only someone who had no balls could write that ending. I'm certainly not one of the misogynists who insist no woman can remain faithful. But if this woman existed she would never stay to her vows. She can't see past the end of her own clit. The ending really ruined it for me.

That post summarizes every closet-cuck on this site.

Well done, cucky!

eat shit anony!

why else does this fool read them all? he wants the writers to have their own category so he does this. I will help the writers by giving out 5s!

Well plotted. But in the end you assigned your protagonist to a horrible fate.

And that is saying it nicely. Off-beat would be the next nicest and humane response. It gets worse from there as I think the author's reality is more than a little distorted.

she never answered why she would screw around, but not be willing to go to bed with the guy she supposedly loves.

He should at least had gotten a punitive prenup, looming sanctions might actually decrease the risk of her cheating on him, and in a future divorce he would be better off.

You write well but this story and the ending just did not make sense.

She sexed others but not the man she loved?

Says it all.

Needs a part 2

If your idea of "romance" is a man with no self-respect who, for years puts up with whatever shit a girl gives him, you should pick another genre. It's not "romance," it's domestic abuse in another form.

Having read several of this author's stories I realize that he has a very dark view of life. He teases you with thoughts of happiness, but never follows through. He really has no faith in loyalty of woman to man and having read other stories he has written I am convinced that he does not need to write a follow up or conclusion that other commentators ask for since I already know that he will provide us with another round of infidelities and probably unhappy, but resigned existence by the "hero". I wonder if this author is capable of creating a real hero; one we the readers could be proud of being or identifying with?

We all know where it's going. Patty's going to cheat, but it'll be a toss-up as to why. Will she do it on a whim, a craving for the "good old days" of sampling any cock she wanted? Or will she finally get tired of her husband's pessimistic attitude, not investing himself emotionally in the marriage because he's always waiting for the other shoe to drop? Personally, I think it would be the former, but she'd use the latter to try and spin it around and make herself look like the victim.

Very middle-of-the-road story, IMO. Pretty much pointless, really. Might as well have been a soapbox for the author to stand on and shout "These hos ain't loyal!". I liked that the protagonist stuck to his guns, up until the end at least. He made valid points and saw the writing on the wall for what it was. He smelled a rat and trusted his nose, so good on him for that. It sucks that he still smells that same rat and has relented to marrying it, but here's hoping he's smart enough to protect any future assets.

There was one thing that stood out to me, though. And that's how Patty glosses over how she was cheating on Greg all throughout their relationship. She just goes on about her plan to take his virginity on their wedding night. No remorse, and not even an attempt at a justification/explanation. I've seen other stories with a similar theme, and the woman's defense is typically something along the lines of "I want my first time with you to be special, so whenever you made me horny, I found someone else to take care of it". But not Patty, she just plows ahead with her sappy poem. Would've been alright if she made the decision not to deny anything because she didn't want to insult Greg's intelligence, but her reasons are never stated, so no one can say that.

I will say that I like the role reversal here. Usually it's the guy who has to scheme and plot and write poems to get the girl. Just like it's usually the guy who fucks around because the girl won't put out.

3 stars from me. Somewhat entertaining, but it felt completely pointless with that ending. Almost makes you feel cheated to spend time reading about him having every reason not to marry her, then doing it anyway. If this thing had been, say, 4 pages or more? I'd downgrade it to 2 stars and want my time back.

that RG has no 2nd part, there are too many options, plots and scenarios. TK U MLJ LV NV

The guy isn't dumb, until the very end when he gave in to her. He knows what's coming. He knows what it will do to him. So why would he marry the slut instead of either walking away, or just shooting himself now? Think of all the pain and suffering that he could avoid simply by choosing one of those options over marrying a known slut.

Might be an interesting irony if you write a sequel where hubby starts to get evidence that Patty is cheating. And the longer and the closer his looks the more convincing the evidence becomes. When the final confrontation happens it is revealed that while Patty appeared to have been cheating, it is actually Greg that has been conducting an extramarital affair. Convinced that Patty Ann would eventually stray, Greg became involved with another woman. How Greg's affair started and how that plays out for their marriage is the culmination to the plot.

quality of the writing & the dialogue not as good as other stories by the same Author

leads me to think the Author was not really trying on this one.

..

can't see this actaully being a romance , the whole story just has Car Crash written all over it. concept/premiss//quality of writing/quality of dialogue/uninspiring insipid protagonists/plot left hanging/unfinished/no conclusion

no real romance , lots of bullshit , lots of manipulation , lots of unresolved issues

reads to me as more of an "How Not To" guide to builiding a relationship

i think this is only the 2nd story by the Author that i have not given 5 stars.

.......

a generous and undeserved 4 stars ..

Author can & usually does ....Much,Much Better

Worst author.You are a wimp who would take your cheating slut of a wife back after she has cheated on you forever and will do in future after your reconcillation.Fuck you wimp & stop posting miserable piece of shit here.People don't need your garbage that is in your screwed up pathetic mind.

Very bad ending to marry that slut. she will cheat.....

What a wimp fest.

You took a whole story and built up a reasonable protagonist with legitimate concerns. He stayed true to himself until the last few paragraphs, then his character is totally disregarded, he is sacrificed for a a clichéd ending. OldBearSwitch.

PS all your stuff is a 5 as a writer, I just don't like some of the endings, like this one and on the lam.

1 star for the cucks auto bio

Did they make it or what?

Great writing. The ending however just kind of ... died.

2*

Lame ass ending sorry not even close to good -5

Romance or Loving Wives?

Nice romance, Supurb writing skills.. I beilieve her. Really smart people are a small percentage of the population. Lots of people sow their wild oats, and settle down to a settled life. And of course, some marriages fail, but taking into account socio economic levels hear the odds are good for a life long marriage.

Chilley

Great writing. Not surprised the trogs here didn't like it; too subtle and delicate, with not enough burning of the hated bitches. Don't you know all women should die? They're merely rags, stuf't with straw, fit only to be tied to a stake, surrounded with faggots (which/whom the trogs also think they hate!) and more straw, and set ablaze to warm their pallid souls.

Thank you for writing these pearls, and casting them into the sty. Some of us recognize their true value. 5*****.

I felt like the guy needed to be slapped upside the head a bit. For a "nerd" he was pretty blasé about his relationship and a bit of a chicken. Not sure that poetry could solve their troubles but I liked the story. Ignore the low-life anons, per usual.

You mentioned a Second Chapter Unfinished or Not. So where is it Does the Nerd win or does he Find his Patty-Ann in the Arms of another.

She has sex with just about every jock on campus, but won't have sex with the man she supposedly LOVES without a "commitment"?

When she came to his room at the end, he should have told her, "If you love me like you say you do, you will make love to me right now! You do it for the dumb jocks you claim not to care about, you can do it for the man you say you love! If you won't, there's the door, don't let it hit you on your tight ass on the way out!"

Love triumps over carnal things. A woman or man can change when they meet the love of their life and that person becomes the most important thing to them. I can belive stories like these. Now he will write a second chapter that will change everything. You wrote another story recently with the same plot. Dedication to each other and not wantimg to dissapoint your spouse says it all.

there has to be a fire somewhere, TK U MLJ LV NV

It was well written and I liked your main character but he really had it correct.

It takes far more than a feeling of love to have a successful relationship or marriage.

She was a stupid slut and her friends were too.

No one respected him, not even himself.

At the end, I didn't respect him either.

If she could have shown a change in her character over time, maybe I would have respected him at the end.

It was she who did not deserve him.

I'm disgusted with the end.

Ever choose to marry the campus slut?

She slept with countless men while dating him. Forget marrying, why would you even entertain the thoughts of dating someone like her??

And like a pathetic wimp, he is okay with that. I could understand a relationship were they were both not exclusive and screwed around.

But seriously, what the hell is wrong with this shit for brains.

I wish all the misery in the universe over this intentionally stupid wimp.

The second part is up on another site, probably here in the next few days.

I'm not giving any spoilers.

Look for the title "What?"

Leopards and spots covers his future. He predicted what will happen and will be terribly hurt when it does. I hope they don't have kids, it would just add to the tragedy.

Of course, with RichardGerald's skills, he(she?) may turn it all around if he writes a sequel.

least he finally got some nookie and it didn't cost a dollar. TK

I saw the author had a new submission and it said it was the second part to this one, so I came here and read this first.

Recently, I have grown to watch out for RG's stories. I liked his latest ones, in the LW category.

This one reminded me of 'My Wild Life' story where the wife was also a college slut and the husband is a normal guy, a bit shy and mild-tempered. What worked for me in that story was how wifey had a few years under her belt being exclusive with hubby, and her determination to make their marriage work without bringing up her past and settle down and be the best wife for the man she loves. In this story, wife-to-be is recently a slut who just ended her wild ways and wants to marry shy, but always there boyfriend. The whole situation and how it ended didn't work for me because there were shades of cuckoldry early on their relationship and he was too weak to end it the first instance he gets a whiff of her dalliances. He knew she what she was and when he called it quits when she proposed, he should have never looked back. Then she's easily forgiven and then they marry. Fuck.

"A big dumb black jock". You are a racist bastard.

Richard Gerald is one of my favorite new authors. I enjoy his writing and his imagination and also his creativity. However, The guy in this story made a fatal mistake. He should never have married this girl. Most of the other commenters listed all the reasons and I agree with them. I hope I am wrong but I turn to the next story with grave misgivings about this couple. Anyway, thanks for an interesting story.

Thanks!

He is exactly the kind of man girls like her marry. They want to play with the pretty boys but when it comes to marriage they want the stable type that they know won't play around on them.

I liked this story. Good characterisation. Can't wait for the sequel. 5*

I can probably guess where it is going.

I've read better. could of had more about her past romances with her playmates, etc...

I downgraded my vote to two stars. I loved the story right up to the end. It didn't bother me that he changed his mind an married her. It was the fact that he had laid out a reasoned explanation for not marrying her and the author didn't provide an explanation of why her poem overrode his reasoning.

I would have no problem with his changing his mind but not without an explanation of why.

Bill1104

For me the problem isn't so much the trust issue. For what it's worth I DO trust her!

What sticks ion my craw, and she never gave him ANY explanation, let alone a GOOD one, for how she could fuck some jock Friday night, but leave him with blue balls on Saturday.

It's a good tragedy. We just haven't seen the 2nd act, yet. Very well written, though.

look mr author. you don't want to btb the woman in this. Some of us go to the extreme and some don't I one of the latter. I burn her just enough to get the point cross. to me u miss a golden opportunity when it came to Kelly confrontation. I think you want the male character to come off mature or whatever. it failed. he calls her slut and get slapped. no be blunt and do not sugarcoated. the character should had told it how it is. do not call her just a slut u explain how and why. u do it in such a way that Kelly know how it feels to be betrayed and then do some stupid high school prank try to fix thing. then I would say yeah try to slap me now.