Likable heroes, detestable villians and the good guy wins! Throw in a car chase me you have a movie.
Seriously though, well done. Only one suggestion, when Jeremy "screamed" at Will for disrespecting his wife, it seemed feminine. Try screaming and see how it works. Yelling or, better yet, simply telling Will that he should apologize to Marcia would have been better.
Both interesting and entertaining to read. Good relationships and I liked it when he slugged Will and got to feel better about his High School days. Of course the biggest reward was Marcia. Write on!
The story was good reading, but have some parts that are difficult to accept: 1st - A mother is always a mother and love their children. The mother in this story didn't love or care about his son, preferring the neibour child to her own. We know her son was a bad man, but it was his son; 2nd - The wife...She had chosen to marry a man that she knew was a cheater, a no moral character, and even so, she waited for him to appear to divorce? Until then she was used and abused by the husband? She had an epiphany? However was well written and I rated 3*
As soon as I saw the name imhapless, immediately knew I will be clicking and reading. I can't think when the author has failed to write an interesting story that is worth the time to read. I am sure it is in Favorite Author section I just don't always check my Favorites to look for stories like I should to find reading material.
Well written story that is interesting and showing that the nice guy didn't finish last. Thank you for sharing and PLEASE keep writing and I will keep reading!!!
This is a GREAT story, but in the wrong category. Neither of the women Jeremy was with was married at the time. It should have been in Erotic Couplings, or a new category: "Loser Husbands."
How many JPB stories have I read just like this: "I met Becky in High School, I was All American. We got married after some ups and downs. I did my best to be a good husband but time takes it's toll and I wasn't in the same shape I was in the past. But still, I loved my wife an awful lot!
So imagine my surprise when I came home and found out my wife gave me a set of divorce papers. It seems this rich, studly, corporate ass who never did an honest day's work in his life but pushed papers or something had come in and stolen my wife from me just after meeting her."
This could be Will's tale (yes, he is obnoxious SOMETIMES and it was stated he was unfaithful)
Yet with a few tweaks and a first person narrative, the wife dumping her husband after a single meeting, aided by a perfidious mother, abandons her vows because the other guy is a better catch...and we are supposed to cheer her decision?
I do not know about the rest of you, but I am not a perfect husband (though marginally better than Will). I'd like slightly better treatment than he got from his wife.
No doubt she has a story too. And reading hers, I'd feel for her plight as well.
In terms of plot, I liked it that neither Betty nor Will's wife cheated, even though their husbands probably deserved it. Story was paced about right. Could have been posted in Romance. Five star story.
English
About as good as it gets
All is right with the world when the good guy gets the girl. Five stars!
5 & FAV!
Been a fan for many years. Is it talent or luck that your stories get better one after another? Have a great one!
WALTZING BETTY AND MARCIE
they'll come a waltzing with me. TK U MLJ LV NV
Great story. 5 stars.
Likable heroes, detestable villians and the good guy wins! Throw in a car chase me you have a movie.
Seriously though, well done. Only one suggestion, when Jeremy "screamed" at Will for disrespecting his wife, it seemed feminine. Try screaming and see how it works. Yelling or, better yet, simply telling Will that he should apologize to Marcia would have been better.
But that is really my only suggestion.
Liked this one!
Thanks,
MGM
Well played!
Both interesting and entertaining to read. Good relationships and I liked it when he slugged Will and got to feel better about his High School days. Of course the biggest reward was Marcia. Write on!
****
Good reading. The story could have gone many ways and was quite brief. Thanks. Cheers!
The ending...
The story was good reading, but have some parts that are difficult to accept: 1st - A mother is always a mother and love their children. The mother in this story didn't love or care about his son, preferring the neibour child to her own. We know her son was a bad man, but it was his son; 2nd - The wife...She had chosen to marry a man that she knew was a cheater, a no moral character, and even so, she waited for him to appear to divorce? Until then she was used and abused by the husband? She had an epiphany? However was well written and I rated 3*
Good Read
Liked this one. Thanks for posting.
Excellent
Short but sweet. Nice story. Thanks for sharing.
Great Read*****
Something different and very entertaining. Thanks for sharing.
:)
Loved it! Thanks!
Enjoyed it
thanks for the offering.
Well done tale
Fun read al the way around.
Interesting Romance
Five stars from this reader - well done.
good guys sometimes
wins... good story, nice flow, 5 stars
Always worth reading, true with this one
As soon as I saw the name imhapless, immediately knew I will be clicking and reading. I can't think when the author has failed to write an interesting story that is worth the time to read. I am sure it is in Favorite Author section I just don't always check my Favorites to look for stories like I should to find reading material.
Well written story that is interesting and showing that the nice guy didn't finish last. Thank you for sharing and PLEASE keep writing and I will keep reading!!!
wow an honest non cheater that won
boy that good loving wife's story.
This story is in the wrong category
This is a GREAT story, but in the wrong category. Neither of the women Jeremy was with was married at the time. It should have been in Erotic Couplings, or a new category: "Loser Husbands."
Good story
A well written good story
This is an interesting study in POV and Tone
How many JPB stories have I read just like this: "I met Becky in High School, I was All American. We got married after some ups and downs. I did my best to be a good husband but time takes it's toll and I wasn't in the same shape I was in the past. But still, I loved my wife an awful lot!
So imagine my surprise when I came home and found out my wife gave me a set of divorce papers. It seems this rich, studly, corporate ass who never did an honest day's work in his life but pushed papers or something had come in and stolen my wife from me just after meeting her."
This could be Will's tale (yes, he is obnoxious SOMETIMES and it was stated he was unfaithful)
Yet with a few tweaks and a first person narrative, the wife dumping her husband after a single meeting, aided by a perfidious mother, abandons her vows because the other guy is a better catch...and we are supposed to cheer her decision?
I do not know about the rest of you, but I am not a perfect husband (though marginally better than Will). I'd like slightly better treatment than he got from his wife.
No doubt she has a story too. And reading hers, I'd feel for her plight as well.
Neat story. Rambling about story construction.
Fantastic Story!
Great writing, awesome imagery, good dialogue, and all around a great feel good story. Well done.
Thanks for posting
Very Cool!
I was sort of hoping that Betty would say, "Fuck the age difference," and stay with Jeremy, but it all worked out in the end!
@impo_61
Nowhere does it say that she knew he was a cheater when she married Will.
I DO wonder at her staying with him once he started cheating and disrespecting her.
Erotic Romance
In terms of plot, I liked it that neither Betty nor Will's wife cheated, even though their husbands probably deserved it. Story was paced about right. Could have been posted in Romance. Five star story.
Winning the gold
It's nice to see the underdog win the heart of a jewel.
Enjoyed
Very nice story from Alpha to Omega. I find it interesting that at this point in time there are not any comments by the anonymous crowed.
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